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Original poster

To not know how to explain to DSs why women wear a niqab?

383 replies

MrsJamin · 07/10/2014 22:04

I live in a really diverse area - we've often seen women wearing a niqab on the school run and today I wondered what I would say if DS1 or 2 asked why they were wearing one. I honestly don't know what I should say or how I could explain it. They're 4 and 6. A good idea is welcome as I don't know.

OP posts:
Dontlaugh · 07/10/2014 23:01

I would love to hear the answers to the question from those same children "why don't the men wear them"?
Do "strange women" (adlibbed from a quote above) not stare at Muslim men?

BackOnlyBriefly · 07/10/2014 23:03

I don't think you can explain it to a child in terms they can understand and still be truthful.

"Sit quietly while I explain the basics of patriarchal societies" and then to be accurate you'd have to explain that "The Creator of the universe requires it"

How about going with "cos they are silly billies!" :)

PrettyPictures92 · 07/10/2014 23:03

There's a lady who wears one on our school run, my dds first question when meeting her was "why does that lady have a blanket on her head?" (She's 4.10yo). I just replied "Because it's part of who she is and her religion honey, just like mummy has her rosary beads, that lady has her head scarf" and that was the end of it. It probably helps that my dd already understands about religion though, she goes to a Catholic school and church so religion is already a part of her life.

That is NOT saying anyone who isn't religious wouldn't understand, it was just the easiest explanation for my child. You've just got to find something your child can relate to when explaining

DiaDuit · 07/10/2014 23:05

You could just play a really cruel joke on your DCs and insist the niqab is because the women are worried about skin cancer. Grin

Your children will start MN threads in years to come about lies their parents told them.

Peacocklady · 07/10/2014 23:07

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/aug/29/islamic-state-isis-mosul-encircled-fear-trapped-in-dark-ages

It was this from the guardian that made me think that wearing a covering isn't always a choice:

"As women we must now also cover our faces – something I could have never imagined being imposed on me. We are no longer allowed to leave home without a male guardian. Men are expected to grow their beards. Never in the history of Iraq have we had such draconian laws. My one and only visit to the university came after Eid. That morning, I put on the abaya for the first time but I went in without covering my face. I met some friends and we joked nervously while an air of sadness hung around us. I have stopped worrying about the possibility of air strikes against Isis and the inevitable bombs falling on civilians. All I am fixated on is this face-covering that haunts me even in my sleep.

We hear of women taken by force by Isis men to become their “wives”. That is the biggest fear: that one day these faceless and nameless men will barge into our home and take me or one of my sisters. We don’t speak about it, as though speaking of our greatest fear may tempt fate. Then there are the rumours of young men being taken by force to join the ranks of Isis, of female genital mutilation, of “slave girls” sold in markets."

Women are being raped, sold, killed and surpressed in Iraq and wearing a face covering is part of that process.

nancy75 · 07/10/2014 23:07

notagainffffffffs just out of interest how many Amish people not using electricity have you seen walking down your local high street recently?

A woman wearing a niqab does stand out and it is quite possible that a child would ask about it (we also live in a fairly multi cultural area and it is a question my DD asked when she was younger)

FreudiansSlipper · 07/10/2014 23:07

Biscoff

I am not surprised, sadly :(

Dontlaugh · 07/10/2014 23:09

There's the explanation to a child, then there's the bigger realisation of what this patriarchal practice means to many millions of Muslim women, and yes, I do agree with the phrase "internalised misogyny" as stated earlier.

When it is a requirement for all Muslim men to cover, then of course I will accept this is equal treatment for all.
When there is a female pope, I will accede that Catholicism has a part to play in modern life.
And so on.

NatashaGurdin · 07/10/2014 23:11

Racism Biscoff?

FreudiansSlipper · 07/10/2014 23:16

well there is certainly a huge amount of ignorance shown on this thread

and a lack of respect

what happened to respecting peoples beliefs and faiths that may be different from yours

Dontlaugh · 07/10/2014 23:23

Racism is a very strong word, and while it may apply to some posts, I would like to think we all live in a democracy which is in a position to query, analyse and digest everyone's viewpoint on an issue, especially those related to religion, race and gender (as the niquab is, on all issues).
A forum which questions our questions is one I would not like to be part of.
We may not like the answers, but that doesn't mean we stop questioning.
Many races, religions, and nationalities contribute to this board, and I for one have learnt much.
As a feminist, and mother to 3 boys, I hope I have something to contribute.
The tone of some replies here has made me wonder if any question on an issue provokes a call of "racism" when in fact it is a real question, or is any querying of religious practice simply not tolerated?
I have grown up in a repressive Catholic system, where questioning of anything was punished very harshly, women and children were seen and not heard, and to this day (in Ireland) reproductive rights are repressed.
I suppose I am projecting my own journey onto a question like this and am very interested in replies from women who wear the veil, and what is their reasoning, beyond their religious imperatives and critically, what would happen if they CHOSE not to wear it?

So really, my uneducated and ignorant question is, what would happen if the most militant veil wearing amongst you decided NOT to wear it tomorrow morning?
Please be kind! (to me Grin)

BackOnlyBriefly · 07/10/2014 23:26

What race is Islam? Try telling the Iranians that it's Arabs only

BackOnlyBriefly · 07/10/2014 23:29

what happened to respecting peoples beliefs and faiths that may be different from yours

Oh you really should join the other thread running on that very subject. You are needed as some people doubt people exist who want religion to be respected.

Pistone · 07/10/2014 23:29

I agree dontlaugh, people use the word far too freely and see racism when there really isn't any. It's ridiculous to mistake racism for showing an interest.

Dontlaugh · 07/10/2014 23:30

I am unsure if that is directed at me backonlybriefly, however I did include "religion" as well as race and gender, in my post, so all fronts covered, as it were!

Bulbasaur · 07/10/2014 23:30

It's not always just about modesty. For some Muslim women their hijab is just as much about fashion as it is about modesty. It's really not much different than women wearing fancy shoes. Some do it for comfort, some like to look flashy, some like expensive refined brands, and some like simple comfortable materials.

It's part of their culture.

Do you get offended when you see women wearing high heal shoes or makeup that men don't have to?

Roonerspism · 07/10/2014 23:31

It's factually incorrect though - its not actually required by the faith, is it?

DS asked me this only yesterday. I replied that people believe different things and some people choose to do this as part of what they believe.

nancy75 · 07/10/2014 23:32

what happened to respecting peoples beliefs and faiths that may be different from yours

Do we have to respect all beliefs & faiths?

Many religions believe that homosexuality is wrong - why should I respect that?

Some religions believe that woman are not equal to men - why should I respect that?

Religion doesn't mean we can't question things that we see as wrong

Bulbasaur · 07/10/2014 23:32

So really, my uneducated and ignorant question is, what would happen if the most militant veil wearing amongst you decided NOT to wear it tomorrow morning?

Probably the same thing that would happen if you went out in just your bra and undies. You wouldn't be breaking any law, but you'd probably feel self conscious and exposed. :)

BackOnlyBriefly · 07/10/2014 23:33

Dontlaugh I was thinking of Biscoff when I said about racism and FreudiansSlipper when I said about joining the other thread. There really is one on the subject of respecting religion.

Dontlaugh · 07/10/2014 23:36

I suppose my question is, really, no person or deity, requires us to wear high heels or makeup. Yes, Western culture and fashion do, which may in themselves be viewed as repressive forces in their own right, however - we will not suffer if we don't follow those rules, whereas my (limited, granted) understanding of Muslim religion is that there are repercussions if one does not follow the rules (veil, related male accompaniment, etc).
All views welcome!

MistressMia · 07/10/2014 23:37

what happened to respecting peoples beliefs and faiths that may be different from yours

Why should religious beliefs automatically be worthy of respect ? Some non-religious ideologies rightly are reviled. We don't go round lauding the Klu Klux clan. Why should we be so accepting and respecting of an ideology that also advocates superiority of one set of people over another ?

FreudiansSlipper · 07/10/2014 23:38

there is a requirement for muslim men to dress modestly as their is a requirement for women to do

the interpretation is different and some scholars claim it is cultural

why is such a simple thing as a head scarf made into such an issue if a child who is young asks a simple answer because they choose to as this is how they choose to follow their religion, if they ask more an explanation on differences in religions and beliefs is that not enough

maybe just maybe many muslim women do not see the issue of covering or not covering their head/faces equates with freedom as we do in the west. this is the problem that comes up time and time again us viewing feminism through western eyes. that is not to dismiss the issues of many women being forced to cover up but within those societies there are many issues that need addressing women being forced to cover up is just a small part of it

i can not answer your question about not wearing a niqab as i am not a muslim

FreudiansSlipper · 07/10/2014 23:39

oh come on you are comparing the KKK to Islam

fuck that is not even worth answering it is so stupid and fucking insulting

tara49 · 07/10/2014 23:41

Why do women who wear the Niqab have thick eye make up on then? If they are so modest and don't want to be looked at then what's that about?