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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by this?

209 replies

ProudAsPunch92 · 29/09/2014 15:19

I don't allow my son to watch any TV as he is only 16 months and I really don't see the point. My brothers kids spend all their time sat in front of the TV and won't do anything else. I have specifically asked my mum not to let ds watch the TV and when I came to pick him up today he is sat goggle eyed to the TV with my brothers youngest.

I am ever so grateful for my mum looking after ds for a couple of hours for me today but AIBU to be annoyed that he was just sat watching TV when I specifically said I don't want him watching cartoons?

OP posts:
Nancy66 · 29/09/2014 15:23

If he was watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre you might have a point but a couple of hours of cartoons is really not going to do him any lasting damage.

WeeClype · 29/09/2014 15:24

I don't see the harm for him to be watching a few cartoons.

Maybe your DM wanted a break.

thankgod for baby tv

LadyLuck10 · 29/09/2014 15:25

Oh god, this is overreacting. A few hours of tv will not kill him. This is not the worst thing In the world you know.

DietCoke48 · 29/09/2014 15:25

I think YABU.

She only had him a couple of hours and was doing you a favour. I think a couple of programmes won't hurt him.

Original poster
ProudAsPunch92 · 29/09/2014 15:28

I don't allow him to watch it so yes, it is a big deal actually. I don't want a goggle eyed zombie when there is so much else he can be doing. Just because you think it's ok for your kids to watch TV doesn't mean I do! Gosh I forgot how lynched you get on Mumsnet for daring to have an opinion on the way your own child is brought up..!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 29/09/2014 15:28

Yabu

Your Mum can't be in two rooms at the same time

Btw, if you get too angsty about it the TV will probably become a thing of fascination for your child...which is the very thing you're trying to avoid.

Moderation is the key

picnicbasketcase · 29/09/2014 15:29

In the grand scheme of things:
Kill Bill and a bottle of whisky with a straw in it - YANBU
A few cartoons - YABU.

treaclesoda · 29/09/2014 15:30

I can understand why you are annoyed but I can also understand why it happened. It's going to be hard for your mum to let the other kids watch TV but prevent your child from doing so. And if your brother's kids are allowed tv they'll think it's not really fair that they shouldn't be allowed to just because your child is there. You might not agree with them watching TV but it's not up to you to impose your decision on your brother.
I don't know what the answer is though - one of you was probably going to come home and feel that their wishes had been ignored, and really your mum is stuck in the middle.

WorraLiberty · 29/09/2014 15:30

I don't want a goggle eyed zombie when there is so much else he can be doing

And you think watching a few cartoons is going to turn him into one?

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 29/09/2014 15:31

"Btw, if you get too angsty about it the TV will probably become a thing of fascination for your child...which is the very thing you're trying to avoid."

Yes, in my experience children who aren't allowed to watch television at home become absolutely obsessed with it when they do get a chance to watch. Children who do watch it tend to be more discerning.

PinkyAndTheBump · 29/09/2014 15:32

I'm with the OP on this.

But also appreciate that mil was looking after other kid who is used to tv so would have had more issues with that kid not seeing tv.

MrsPiggie · 29/09/2014 15:32

Yabu. Your mum was doing you a favour. Maybe she couldn't cope with doing all those other things you'd rather he did. If you want a certain type of childcare, pay for it or do it yourself.

DontDrinkAndFacebook · 29/09/2014 15:33

If your mother is looking after him for you then you cannot really dictate things like that to her. A few minutes here and there at someone else's house is not going to hurt him in the slightest. Besides, babies and toddlers need a balance of active physical and mental stimulation and a bit of downtime that is passive without actually sleeping, just like anyone else does.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 29/09/2014 15:33

I think you're going to have a hard time avoiding TV unless you want to live in a bubble.

treaclesoda · 29/09/2014 15:34

I used to work with a lady, a grown adult, who wasn't allowed a TV at home for religious reasons, and had never had a TV for that reason. We had a TV in the staff lunch room. She was obsessed with it, and would watch anything that was on. She would sit inches away from it and become very irate if she couldn't see it. It was a really strange thing to witness.

Bowlersarm · 29/09/2014 15:34

YABU

You asked your mum to do you a favour and look after your child. Let her get on with it, in the way she knows how. And if she needs a break by putting him in front of the TV for a while then she should be able to, without criticism from you.

Its hardly a lot of TV per week, if you don't allow it at all at home.

Stripylikeatiger · 29/09/2014 15:34

What do you think will actually happen if he watches tv occasionally when he's with his grandma? When you leave your dc with someone you accept that they will do what they think is right, if that is watching tv, eating sweets, going to mc Donald's then do be it, it's not like the occasional diversion to your parenting ideals will damage your dc.

You have the option to pay for childcare in which case you do have slightly more control but you can't decide every little thing when people do you a favor and look after your dc. If you want to be in constant control don't let anyone else look after your dc.

dobedobedo · 29/09/2014 15:35

YABU.
YANBU about your mum going against your express wishes, but the other kids were there and you can't impose your rules on them. Your mum was stuck in the middle. So get a different sitter if your mum is looking after the other kids next time.

Sunna · 29/09/2014 15:35

YABU

If you want to be sure he doesn't watch TV never leave him with anyone else. If someone is doing you a favour you have to put up with them doing childcare their way. Maybe she thinks you're as daft as I do.

(mother of 2 DCs, both allowed to watch cartoons, and both graduates)

DontDrinkAndFacebook · 29/09/2014 15:35

Back in the day when children were allowed to walk home from school by themselves, my best friend from primary school always used to ask to come into my house after school (it was on her route home) so she could see a bit of telly. She wasn't allowed one at home.

She got into trouble when her mum found out and wasn't allowed in my house again. Sad

QisforQcumber · 29/09/2014 15:36

If you don't like it - use different childcare. Walks up to collect degree in Rocket Science and stating the bloody obvious

Original poster
ProudAsPunch92 · 29/09/2014 15:36

When did I say I want to put him in a bubble and never let him each TV?! He is 16 months old for goodness sake - why on earth would a 16 month old need to watch TV?!

OP posts:
Fanfeckintastic · 29/09/2014 15:36

You remind me a bit of myself when I first had DD Blush YABU

misanthropologist · 29/09/2014 15:36

YABU. If you make TV verboten at home it will automatically become "forbidden fruit" and the first thing he heads for at other people's houses where, I might add, no matter your rules at home you have ZERO say on whether their telly is on or off when your son is there as long as they are not showing him age-inappropriate programming. Far easier to allow small amounts at home and control his viewing there.

LadyLuck10 · 29/09/2014 15:36

I think it's more about a control issue. Why would they turn into a zombie with tv in moderation? Maybe you best avoid future play dates, technology, cinemas etc. IMO it's a sure fast way to making him that future zombie by trying to control this.