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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by this?

209 replies

ProudAsPunch92 · 29/09/2014 15:19

I don't allow my son to watch any TV as he is only 16 months and I really don't see the point. My brothers kids spend all their time sat in front of the TV and won't do anything else. I have specifically asked my mum not to let ds watch the TV and when I came to pick him up today he is sat goggle eyed to the TV with my brothers youngest.

I am ever so grateful for my mum looking after ds for a couple of hours for me today but AIBU to be annoyed that he was just sat watching TV when I specifically said I don't want him watching cartoons?

OP posts:
macnab · 29/09/2014 16:54

yAbu I think.
Did your mum say how long he had been watching the tv? I doubt it was the full two hours that he was in her care. I'd imagine he wore himself out with the excitement and stimulation of being somewhere different, with other children around. Probably had great fun exploring and playing etc. and then for a little down-time he watched some telly. I really honestly can't see a problem with that Confused so in my opinion, you ARE being unreasonable.

If your mum plonked him in front of the telly as soon as you left, and he was still there when you arrived back to get him then yes, you might have a point. But it doesn't sound like that's what happened.

springlamb · 29/09/2014 16:56

It's not so odd stripy. I 'treat' my MIL with cold hard cash when she dogsits. I could buy her a box of chocolates but as she's on minimum pension and her sister is dying in another country, I give her the cash to put towards her flights. Back in the day, I used to 'treat' my sister to 40 fags for doing my ironing. Then she gave up smoking...and ironing.

Some things are worth compromising on when you are leaving your child with the next best thing to his/her parent, stuff like a bit of telly, giving your BLW child a yoghurt, giving the toddler shop-bought chicken nuggets.
Stuff like smoking, drinking, having dodgy people in the house or an untested dog running loose, is not worth compromising on.

Nanny0gg · 29/09/2014 16:57

As a GP, if you asked me to look after your DC for a couple of hours in my home, I would not expect to be dictated to about how I decided to do it.

m0therofdragons · 29/09/2014 16:58

Not your house so not your rules but then I always find people who don't let dc watch TV are smug and annoying. At 16 months dc is unlikely to sit and watch for long anyway.

Stripylikeatiger · 29/09/2014 17:08

Looking after a dog and helping with ironing are very different to spending time with your own grandchildren though, looking after dogs and ironing are jobs where are surely spending time with your grandchildren is a pleasure, if it's not then you shouldn't really be doing it.

Original poster
ProudAsPunch92 · 29/09/2014 17:14

I give my mum some money because she doesn't work, they live off my dad's wage and I like to give her some money - not that it's any of your business!

OP posts:
springlamb · 29/09/2014 17:17

You don't have my MIL stripy. She's an odd 'un!
I really am going to put some dinner on now, I really am. I hope OP isn't quarrelling with her Mum. Give her a pass, OP.

Original poster
ProudAsPunch92 · 29/09/2014 17:18

I'm not quarrelling with her, we cleared it up.

OP posts:
Rumandcokeplease · 29/09/2014 17:19

My tv is on all the time pretty much, just in the background, and my 16 month old isn't interested at all!! There's no way she'd sit and 'watch' something even if I tried to make her!!

springlamb · 29/09/2014 17:22

Glad to hear. Good to have family support around. You've still got the terrible twos to get through! Nice evening to you.
Now I must put those sausages in!

JustSpeakSense · 29/09/2014 17:22

OP you sound very uptight....a couple of hours TV should not cause you this much stress. Really.

WD41 · 29/09/2014 17:24

Think you need to chill out a bit...the cbeebies bedtime hour is on soon, it's quite relaxing

Only1scoop · 29/09/2014 17:25

Aibu
Yes

Whhhaaat no I am not Angry

Very amusing Grin

Original poster
ProudAsPunch92 · 29/09/2014 17:26

Only1scoop I think you'll find the comments I dismissed were ones that had sod all to do with my question and were aimed at those posts slamming my decision not to sit my 16 month old in front of the telly.

OP posts:
EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 29/09/2014 17:32

Proud - I can't see any evidence of "slamming". Confused
Was there any? Must have missed it.
You asked a question, and you got answers. What else were you expecting?

MagpieMama · 29/09/2014 17:33

YABU, a bit precious and rather disrespectful to your mother.

ithoughtofitfirst · 29/09/2014 17:36

Yabu.

Thank your mother for watching dc. Like this:

Me: Mum what did ds have for tea?
My mum: Pom bears.
Me: Ok thanks for having him.

Original poster
ProudAsPunch92 · 29/09/2014 17:38

Fair enough. Point taken. Perhaps hyperemesis is making me unreasonable. Perhaps I'm just passionate about no TV til he's over 2. Either way, not in the mood to argue.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 29/09/2014 17:38

No....unless I am reading a different thread you have slammed every response which says you may have slightly over reacted?? If you don't think you have then great ....but why post on AIBU....

You sure you not the 2 cooking apple poster....come on now....Grin

Mama1980 · 29/09/2014 17:39

I haven't read the whole thread but though I see where you are coming from I think yabu. And I say that as someone with no TV, on the rare occasion we want to see something we use the iPad.

I can see how it would be difficult for your mum say no to your son when your nephew was watching, or how she could struggle to occupy the two if she needed to do something otherwise. If you feel that strongly I would not use your mum for future childcare.

Original poster
ProudAsPunch92 · 29/09/2014 17:40

Lol I promise I'm not the 2 apples poster - I found that thread highly amusing tbh Smile

OP posts:
lovemyboo · 29/09/2014 17:43

YaNbu
You specifically asked that ds does not watch cartoons right? And your mum was happy with this when asked? If there was a problem mum should have said so at the time.

And I agree you are being lynched by the mumsnet mob. You may change your mind in the future about how much TV he watches and that will be your decision.

Maybe talk to mum about it when you are feeling calmer and just be super nice about it.

Xx

evalyn · 29/09/2014 17:43

OP, I think YANBU. That seems a minority opinion here, so I'll say it again. YANBU.

You don't want your DC to do x because, after due consideration, you think it better for DC that they not do x. You tell your mother this. She lets your DC do x. Huh? Does it matter what x is? (No.) Your mother should fall in with your wishes for your DC. If she doesn't, she's BU.

(I suspect most people don't get this because secretly they know they let their own DC watch too much TV, and they know it's bad, really, while pretending to themselves that it isn't. That's another story though.)

[What I tell you three times is true ...] YANBU!

OwlCapone · 29/09/2014 17:49

This is utterly pointless because the OP doesn't think she could possibly be unreasonable to any degree at all. I find threads like that tiresome.

XiCi · 29/09/2014 17:55

Not in the mood to argue? Christ, OP, have a read back of your posts. You appear extraordinarily stressed and aggressive especially over such a small issue. Your mum had 2 kids in her care and put the tv on to amuse them for a short while. Big fucking wow.