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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be rude to this woman even when she was polite to me?

186 replies

Bearsinmotion · 25/09/2014 18:21

Just got home from work with DD. I am 18 weeks pregnant and knackered. DP is away on business. I am also disabled and have a parking space outside my house. One of the neighbours is parked in it - no blue badge. After driving round the block I find a space about 50m away - further than my normal walking distance. Wrestle DD out of the car, my work bag, her nursery bag and my walking stick and stagger to the house, stopping every few m.

Neighbour appears in gym kit and unlocks the car saying "oh sorry, is this your space?"

"Yes, this is my house"

"Sorry, there wasn't anywhere else to park"

"Do you think there was anywhere else for me? I'm 18 weeks pregnant, disabled and I have a toddler to look after! I'm exhausted. What am I supposed to do?!"

"I'm really sorry, can I do anything to help?"

"No! no you can't. It's too late. Maybe next time you could think about why these spaces are here and who might need to use them."

Am now in house trying not to cry. I'm going to have to make the same journey back to the car in the morning and will now worry all day in case it happens again. That space is my lifeline. If the only space was another 50m away I would not be able to get home at all :(

OP posts:
EmbarrassedPossessed · 25/09/2014 18:50

YWNBU, don't feel like you need to apologise to her or to anyone else! I think you were really polite and restrained actually. Isn't parking in a blue badge bay without a blue badge a criminal offence?

Charitybelle · 25/09/2014 19:00

YANBU! I would never park in a disabled spot for exactly this reason, no earthly idea why people think it's okay to do so???
On a practical note, can you not move the car when your dd goes to sleep? I'm sure she'll be fine in bed while you just go 50m down the road?

MrsMinton · 25/09/2014 19:09

If a friend has comprehensive cover they can drive your car third party in some instances. Worth a thought if you can think of someone you could ask?

WD41 · 25/09/2014 19:10

YWNBU and it doesn't sound like you were rude to her anyway, you just told her how it is.

Hopefully she is suitably mortified and will think twice in the future.

Original poster
Bearsinmotion · 25/09/2014 19:11

Thanks everyone.

Buskersdog - I know it's not my space - another neighbours dad parked there recently, who does have a blue badge. The neighbour was really apologetic - it was me persuading him that his dad could park there.

Unfortunately we're in a one way system - it's 50m to walk but a 5 minute drive to get back to our road. I will have to sort it out in the morning.

Not sure what I'll do if I see the neighbour again though...

OP posts:
crossandcrosser · 25/09/2014 19:13

Console yourself that she'll now be feeling really bad & won't do it again.
She made a silly, selfish mistake & I bet she feels rotten.
Forgive & forget. Flowers

Original poster
Bearsinmotion · 25/09/2014 19:13

Might see if other (lovely) neighbours will just sit on the sofa once DD is in bed while I move the car.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bearsinmotion · 25/09/2014 19:14

Good advice crosser - am feeling much calmer now!

OP posts:
FryOneFatManic · 25/09/2014 19:16

YWNBU. By parking in a space she was not entitled to, this woman WBU.

Only1scoop · 25/09/2014 19:21

Think you were a bit over the top....she sounds really sorry.... Don't think she will do it again though!!

BastardGoDarkly · 25/09/2014 19:23

Yes, get the neighbours to watch dd to move it back.

You were sooooo not unreasonable! She wouldn't have done that anywhere else in case she was caught, she knows exactly what she did, hence the apology, you however have nothing to feel bad about.

Flowers
NewtRipley · 25/09/2014 19:27

You weren't rude, you were assertive. If she feels bad it is because she did something inconsiderate and she knows it.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 25/09/2014 19:28

Was it someone visiting or was it one of your neighbours ( that is worse because they must know it's your space)

I think I'd have sat in the car and beeped the horn until someone came out to see what the noise was.
You were very restrained Bears

wingsandstrings · 25/09/2014 19:32

You found another space, so she could have too. And she SHOULD have. If it's a disabled space then don't park in it if you don't have a blue badge. Hopefully seeing the distress and real inconvenience it has caused you, your neighbour will not do it again . . . . she probably saw it as a 'victimless crime' and is probably mortified that a real person has been adversely affected by her thoughtlessness. Hope your day get's better.

wooly31 · 25/09/2014 19:33

You weren't unreasonable at all but I think you will both be feeling awful now. I'd love to think she might be a neighbour and become a friend- she did ask if she could help put it right etc- and I doubt she do it again. She probably feels horrible too.

I'd forget it but you never know, you've taught her a lesson and you might even gain a friendly helpful neighbour!

FannyBlott · 25/09/2014 19:34

YWNBU at all op, she was very unreasonable to park in a disabled space. So selfish of her! Is there anyone who can move your car for you?

ChippingInLatteLover · 25/09/2014 19:38

Flowers Don't cry x

You were firm & assertive. Don't feel bad. Yes, she was polite to you, but only after she'd done something unacceptable.

Next time, just keep beeping your horn until someone comes out to see what all the fuss is about.

Most people are insured third party, it's only around the block, I'd just ask the neighbour if they'd mind moving it for you.

Hope DP is back soon and isn't away too often x

MrsGeorgeMichael · 25/09/2014 19:40

OMG you were politer than me. I would have sat with my hand on the horn until someone came out!

AlpacaMyBags · 25/09/2014 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

formerbabe · 25/09/2014 19:47

Is your parking bay an 'informal disabled space'..? If so from what I understand i think it is legal to park there without a blue badge but it is courtesy to not park there...iyswim.

morethanpotatoprints · 25/09/2014 19:48

YWNBU, so sorry it will be painful for you tomorrow.
I agree that telling her straight means hopefully she won't do it again.
Congratulations btw and hope your little bundle is just what you need.

MrsDeVere · 25/09/2014 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Bearsinmotion · 25/09/2014 19:50

It's a motability car so I don't think anyone except DP and I can drive it. It's just shaken me up - i need to remember this is only the second time this year this has happened and it's just bad luck DP is away. And all the other neighbours are lovely - last time I was pregnant the hospital wanted to admit me while DP was at work and lovely neighbour took me.

OP posts:
DanyStormborn · 25/09/2014 19:52

You weren't rude to her at all you just told her how it was. Just because she didn't say anything rude she was very rude and inconsiderate to park in that space in the first place.

Original poster
Bearsinmotion · 25/09/2014 19:56

Don't know about "informal" spaces - the council put this one in, it has a sign and stuff! The police have also been round previously when people have half parked in it - another neighbour called them, not us!

OP posts: