Bra-less at my BBQ?

[BioSuisse]

Last night DH and i hosted a BBQ for newish friends whom we had never hosted before. DH invited a female colleague whom i had never met before. She turned up with her boyfriend but not her bra. She was wearing a thickish cotton white top. You could see the outline of her boobs and nipples if you looked.

After the party i mentioned it to DH. He claimed to not have noticed.

MN jury?

1352 and 1708... still there. OP's posts.

OP I read your post this morning and was coming back to mention how some people/cultures have different ideas about appropriate dress. I too live in a very international environment. I have noticed, for example at academic seminars where most people are conservatively dressed, young women from certain countries feel comfortable showing up with clothes that I find unusual for such a setting, for example very short skirts and skimpy tops.

The thread has taken a quite different turn. You may find some of these books and links useful as you confront your H about what is going on.

www.amazon.co.uk/Not-Just-Friends-Rebuilding-Recovering/dp/0743225503

www.amazon.co.uk/How-Can-Ever-Trust-Again/dp/140880946X

www.dearpeggy.com/

www.ch.ch/en/right-to-reside-in-switzerland-after-death-or-divorce/

sorry, I got confused half way through, yet remembered the bra-less bit.
best wishes, Bio, my thoughts are with you x

bio

Sorry your going through this

My suggestion is ask for this thread to be removed and start a new one about the affair so as to better get some support/advice.

I think this thread will always be too confusing due to the late change in information.

Good luck.

lying thanks i'll try and find them

I hope you are ok bio .

No not really ok but thanks anyway. I won't be posting in relationships, i don't have the strength to deal with more nastiness, i have enough in my life right now in RL, i will deal with all this by myself. Thanks for the bit of support i have had though. DH is now gone, his choice funnily enough. Amazed at how quickly he has descended from hero to zero. Just so thankful we never took the job in Moscow, i have the MNers on Living Overseas to thank for that

I hope that your life improves massively from this point on, BioSuisse. Best wishes.

So sorry Bio.

Don't need 20:20 hindsight Upthechimney. Just a basic level of manners and civility in the first place.

OP this thread was the worst i've seen on MN since i've been on here. Sorry you had to deal with that on top of serious issues in RL.

ernest agreed. Horrible nasty thread.

Bio I am so sorry.

I've just read this thread from start to finish and am shocked at the levels of cuntery you've had to deal with both from STBXH and the usual rabid MNers .

I hope you have real life support and remember that not all of us on here are so horrible. Please know you can post for helpful advice.

for you.

Oh and well said ernest.

I don't think any one was nasty once they were told that the OP dh was having an affair this thread was started as an AIBU re what someone wore to a party and whether or not it was appropriate??

I really hope you've people around you who can support you through this, how horrible it must've been to have had all this thrown at you in the middle of finding out about your husbands affair .

I'm sorry you had such a hard time on here, I think a lot of posts on AIBU turn quite harsh at times & lots of people avoid it for that reason .
I've never seen the same reaction on other parts of the site though .

Keep your chin up Bio

Bio, you do what you need to do, but I agree with pp that the Relationship board is entirely different from AIBU and if you felt you'd like supportive advice then Relationships is the place to post.
I hope RL support is there for you

Is that a question?

Eh, plenty of women don't wear bras. I do, but they are uncomfortable, expensive things, and I don't judge women who don't wear them.

Very best wishes to you Bio and I hope you can get through this and move on to much better times.

I think this thread must have been, at times, an utterly vile experience for you and the posters to whom this applies know who they are, despite some of them now trying to portray themselves as nice, reasonable people .

The responses of some on this thread have disgusted me and I'm so sorry that you have had this to deal with as well as your husband's awful behaviour. Take care and look after yourself and .

The threads moved on a bit if you read through !!

Turns out OP was right to be concerned !!

I've just read this thread from start to finish and am shocked at the levels of cuntery you've had to deal with both from STBXH and the usual rabid MNers hmm .

I have also read the whole thread and totally agree with above. I do hope you post in relationships for support OP, less vipers on other topics than AIBU. Thinking of you and DCs, must be such a shock.

Are some of you hard of thinking, unable to read or just a bit thick?

I'll précis:

• Thread started AIBU about woman at party not wearing bra, DH claimed to not have noticed.
• Discussion from all about whether it's bad form to wear a bra or not, comment on it or not, etc.
• In the last furlong OP calls braless woman a whore and then later said that husband was sleeping with her.
• At this point there was no further discussion as to the rights and wrongs of bra-wearing and making assumptions about women who don't.

Sorry to disappoint the bottom-feeders on this thread who only come in to 'clean up' and make most cringe but - from that point everybody has supported the OP and been kind.

It's ridiculous, really. But predictable. :)

really some people either haven't read it all or are a bit thick as Lying says as once the truth emerged everyone was supportive and agreed that the couple concerned were terrible and deceitful and the bra scenario was irrelevant

archery RTFT

Nice.