To expect not to be judged

[Gemini121]

Have name changed for this. Am really upset about this.

Went to the park with the family plus friends today. Decided to quickly pop into the high street to grab a few bits for dinner. We had our dog with us (age 9y), 3 adults, 6 kids. Had to tie the dog up outside the grocery store so did and put the lock on the lead. To be fair we were a bit longer than we should have been, maybe 10 min. Came out and checked on her and she was fine (whining as normal but otherwise fine). Then popped into a shop 2 doors along for not more than 5 min. Dd needed toilet so went back to grocery, again dog was fine. Came out of toilet and 3 people standing around dog, one with mobile phone in her hand. I went over and lady with phone said they were just phoning me as lead had come unlocked and dog was "distressed". She whines if she's left for even one minute, always has been, it's just her. Anyway, they had tied her lead in knots so I started untying it as woman continued to bang on about how distressed my dog was (she wasn't distressed, she whines when she's left. Her distressed is crying and this wasn't crying. I know my dog.). I said to her "well I get judged for leaving her at home and I get judged for bringing her out so I can't win can I?" Dog then jumped on my two year old (she knows better) and dd started crying. I gave dog a light smack (seriously light) and told her no. Lady then starts with "you can't smack dogs in this country it's illegal. Good thing I've got your mobile now. I'm really worried about the well being of this dog now. Perhaps I need to report you." Carried on and on. I carried on sorting out the lead and just said "ok thank you" and walked away (yes, with the dog). She carried on about "I'm going to report you. Poor dog. Can't believe you smacked him. Hope you don't smack your children too". I just kept walking. Told DH to go handle it, he went outside and she just stared and then walked away.

Seriously, wibu to leave her outside the store? Even though she was checked on 3 times? And for giving her a smack when she jumped up on dd? Or was the lady BU?

Just to be pedantic Irish Traveller and Gypsy are considered as protected characteristics under the Equality Act 2010 www.hackney.gov.uk/eqal-traveller-communities.htm

Mexican - seriously you are just proving that you cannot read or struggle to interpret the written word!!!

I will say it clearly.

I WAS STATING A FACT!!!!

A fact about something that happened in my town!

Is that now banned from mn too?

I've been polite with you so far but seeing as you don't seem to understand - I am far from racist and I really fucking resent some ill-informed twat like you saying I am.

I CLEARLY - did not state that all travellers are dog thief's!

Do you also complain to channel 4 and the likes when they report the news???

Paper - thanks that helps not

All I meant was it was stated that Traveller is not a race and in some circumstances, depending on the type of traveller, it can be.

I did not mean to offend and really that is all I meant.

Sorry.

Paper I was only joking.

Sorry I thought the would imply that.

I was laughing, no offence taken. However some people do seem to take offence to everything on here!!!

Sorry I misunderstood and no offence taken

Hello again MexicanSpringtime, let me introduce myself properly.

I am a settled Traveller. My grandfather was bought up as a traveller, albeit on the barges. He then married out (...side of his clan) and one of his sons was my father. My parents started their married life in a caravan, but on a permanent site, rather than moving on. They then settled in rooms in a terraced development built especially with travellers in mind, before moving to the house I was born in, in their 30s

I am the baby of the family, and was bought up on a box standard housing estate but have many relatives who still travel. My family is very well known across the country and our family name is one that is recognised across the differing communities.

You don't need to tell me how hard the travellers life is. I know.

I also know that certain travelling communities commit the acts that both I and bubalou have mentioned. It's easy money you see, and on the whole gypsies and travellers (two different things) do not have the same bond with pet animals - they are used for working, hunting and protection, mainly live outside and are not anthromophised in the way we do.

As for short lives - it's you who are generalising there. The only relative in my huge family that died before the age of 70 was an uncle that was shot in the chest by a rival clan member, he was in his 30s. The matriarch of my 'local' family lived to her 90s and didn't settle until her 80s (and remained in her touring caravan rather than moving to a more comfortable static or mobile home)

No worries. It's hard to read things over the likes of texts and mn.

Maybe I haven't explained myself very well here.

I just feel that when referring to anti-social acts there is no need to refer to the ethnicity, colour or religion of the person or group of people who are doing it, unless that is relevant for identification purposes in an ongoing manhunt. I'm from Ireland and have seen how travellers are treated there, every crime that ever happens is attributed to them, all of them, and they are hounded out of everywhere they stay. Because of a few bad apples, everyone gets tarred with the same brush.

I'm also from Northern Ireland and saw how, in that context, referring to the religion of the perpetrator of a crime can be inflammatory.

Hi evedallas - I'm glad you too didn't take offence to me then considering your position. We have about 5/6 families of settled travellers living down the street from us.

The children go to DS school and all the mums I see and speak to are lovely. I had no preconceptions that they wouldn't be though.

Mexican - I understand what you mean but I didn't mean to say it in that way - it was just a fact. I thought 'a group of people' was a bit vague. If it was a group of 'teenagers' or 'senior citizens' I probably would have said that too.

As much as you are trying to explain your reasoning for unnecessarily labelling me a racist which is sick in my mind - you should maybe realise you were wrong and apologise for being so unfair.

gemini

YANBU to leave your dog tied up outside a shop

Would have been better to leave an adult outside and swapped if necessary but that was obviously your call to make at the time

bubalou it was your comment that I was referring to, not you, who I do not know and have every respect for.

Maybe I am too politically correct but, as I say, I have seen how easily prejudice is fed.

I think you may be Mexican.

I do think the world has gone mad with political correctness to the extreme sometimes.

I think if you get that het up over something that was quite obviously not a racist comment then you are going to be picking a lot of unnecessary disagreements.

Especially when somebody like evedallas who has said she comes from a large family of travellers wasn't offended at all by my post.

I'm content in what I said and stand by the facts that I stated without prejudice. I'm not going to discuss it anymore as it seems pointless when some people just want something to be upset about for the sake of it.

Re Flexi-leads...

I had my dog (20kg) on one that was suitable for dogs up to 25kg.

He took off after a squirrel and obviously came to an abrupt halt when he ran out of lead. The jerking of the lead caused damage to the nerves in his neck (similar to a hanging injury ) which took weeks to resolve.

The vet told us that he would probably be left with permanent nerve damage, fortunately he is fine, but never, ever would we use one of these again...

Has the RSPCA declared leaving dogs outside shops animal cruelty ? as I see dogs outside shops all the time without all this melodrama

I categorically will not take my dog out if I need to go shopping or tie her up at all because of this exact reason OP, and the majority of the posters on this thread are evidence of that. People in this country place dogs in the same category as humans and therefore cast judgement on you if you treat your dog any less than you would treat a child. They are DOGS!!

Anyway, YANBU.

I'd of done exactly the same as you OP

People in this country place dogs in the same category as humans or higher, because even I wait outside shops for my owner. I'm not tied up because I am quite streetwise though.

YANBU. People are getting really precious about pets. If they are not inbreed mini-dogs, they should be able to spend some time outside and not die of solitude, or exposure. They can be incredible drama queens, and can really look pitiful when they are much alright!

Also, sometime, you cannot reason a dog the way you do a child. Even if bored and spiteful ladies with nothing better to do or to feel superior think you should. They are animal with the mental capacities of a 5mo child.

maddening Yes they have.
www.easyanimal.co.uk/community/rspca-warns-dog-theft-rise/#.VCAzVn-9KK0

ofafrenchmaid

You may wish to read this - more like a 2 year old in some areas, and 4-5 year old in others www.livescience.com/5613-dogs-smart-2-year-kids.html

I wouldn't leave my dog in the car or tied up due to dog theft. Some breeds get stolen for dog fighting, some for ransom and some for bait for dog fights. Either way it's a pretty disgusting life.
Id either wait with the dog or drop it home first.

You did a lot of things I personally wouldn't have done but I think the lady was probably just concerned as I would be if I'd seen a dog distressed.

YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually

"Well this is good timing as smackingchildrenhas been widely supported on another recent thread
so I shall watch with interest....."

And you overreacted on that thread too. People were not supporting smacking.

Why did you smack your dog? It was your fault it was in a state.

Yabu