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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect not to be judged

227 replies

Gemini121 · 20/09/2014 20:01

Have name changed for this. Am really upset about this.

Went to the park with the family plus friends today. Decided to quickly pop into the high street to grab a few bits for dinner. We had our dog with us (age 9y), 3 adults, 6 kids. Had to tie the dog up outside the grocery store so did and put the lock on the lead. To be fair we were a bit longer than we should have been, maybe 10 min. Came out and checked on her and she was fine (whining as normal but otherwise fine). Then popped into a shop 2 doors along for not more than 5 min. Dd needed toilet so went back to grocery, again dog was fine. Came out of toilet and 3 people standing around dog, one with mobile phone in her hand. I went over and lady with phone said they were just phoning me as lead had come unlocked and dog was "distressed". She whines if she's left for even one minute, always has been, it's just her. Anyway, they had tied her lead in knots so I started untying it as woman continued to bang on about how distressed my dog was (she wasn't distressed, she whines when she's left. Her distressed is crying and this wasn't crying. I know my dog.). I said to her "well I get judged for leaving her at home and I get judged for bringing her out so I can't win can I?" Dog then jumped on my two year old (she knows better) and dd started crying. I gave dog a light smack (seriously light) and told her no. Lady then starts with "you can't smack dogs in this country it's illegal. Good thing I've got your mobile now. I'm really worried about the well being of this dog now. Perhaps I need to report you." Carried on and on. I carried on sorting out the lead and just said "ok thank you" and walked away (yes, with the dog). She carried on about "I'm going to report you. Poor dog. Can't believe you smacked him. Hope you don't smack your children too". I just kept walking. Told DH to go handle it, he went outside and she just stared and then walked away.

Seriously, wibu to leave her outside the store? Even though she was checked on 3 times? And for giving her a smack when she jumped up on dd? Or was the lady BU?

OP posts:
Panzee · 20/09/2014 20:49

If you're fine with how you handled it, why did you ask?

rembrandtsrockchick · 20/09/2014 20:50

ok...i have not read the whole thread.

Nellie gives me 5 minutes in the co-op and then goes into full Joan Collins drama queen mode. Whining, shaking, lifting her front paw and putting on the most tragic face you have ever seen.

She is turning into my mother, I swear she is!

Being part of a family occasionally means having to put up with less than perfect behaviour from other family members. It's tough but not tragic.

VeryStressedMum · 20/09/2014 20:53

I've left my dog outside a shop a few times I don't like doubt it but if I'm out and passing a shop I'll pop in, I don't leave her outside Tesco and do a weeks groceries.
she sometimes majesty an awful racket as she doesn't like being on her own but I hi check on her. once the lick came off the lead and she was standing halfway in the shop.
but I wouldn't gave smacked the dog, especially not when you're having a discussion with a person about neglect!

Original poster
Gemini121 · 20/09/2014 20:53

Actually sliced, no. I'm upset that people stick their oars in and make assumptions.

She was excited, so jumped up. Shouldn't have smacked her for it. She's a harmless dog.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 20/09/2014 20:55

OP why didn't your dh stay outside with her?

Original poster
Gemini121 · 20/09/2014 20:56

Oh ok flogging. So it's not realistic to be out at the park, think "it's getting a bit chilly, why don't we pop to waitrose and warm up and pick up a few nice bits while we are there". No, that would be far too much like how normal life is, wouldn't it?

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 20/09/2014 20:56

Sorry to post this again but not sure if you saw my earlier question.

Original poster
Gemini121 · 20/09/2014 20:57

Faire, DH was wearing my 3 week old in a sling. I've explained this up thread.

OP posts:
papercliplover · 20/09/2014 20:57

You left your dog. Toed up outside a shop for more than the time to get bread or a pint of milk. Then you went to another shop. And then back to the first shop. And you smacked the dog. And the lead was insecure.

What if the dog had been tangled in the lead?

Fairenuff · 20/09/2014 20:58

Sorry, you didn't say he was, you just said one of the adults. Ok, so then why didn't you stay outside with your dog?

papercliplover · 20/09/2014 20:58

*tied

Fairenuff · 20/09/2014 20:59

Congrats on your new baby btw Thanks Smile

Original poster
Gemini121 · 20/09/2014 21:00

Because I wanted to pick what we were going to eat for dinner. And because I didn't think it was a huge issue to leave the dog tied up outside quickly when plenty of other people also do it. We weren't doing a major shop, we bought 3 things.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gemini121 · 20/09/2014 21:01

Thank you faire Thanks

OP posts:
papercliplover · 20/09/2014 21:01

But you weren't quick Confused

SlicedAndDiced · 20/09/2014 21:02

You left your dog. Tied up outside a shop for more than the time to get bread or a pint of milk. Then you went to another shop. And then back to the first shop. And you smacked the dog. And the lead was insecure.

This really op is why I think anyone outside that shop would be making assumptions. You don't really seem to think you've done anything wrong but the smack.

(But you do know you just asked not to be judged on aibu...on a thread involving a smack and a tied up dog? tut tut Grin )

Original poster
Gemini121 · 20/09/2014 21:03

Paper, I checked on the dog 3 times. At no point did she appear 1) distressed or 2) tangled up. The tangling must have happened when I took dd to the toilet because that was the last point that I had checked her.

OP posts:
waithorse · 20/09/2014 21:03

If all the adults needed to go into the stop, then you should have taken it in turns. Why didn't you do that ? Poor dog, being tied up. Then smacked, how lovely you sound. I hope you do get reported.

PenguinsIsSleepDeprived · 20/09/2014 21:04

I hate seeing dogs tied up outside shops. Fair enough 2 mins for a pint of milk. But 10 minutes (whether you bought 3 things or 33 things) then another five is far, far too long.

formerbabe · 20/09/2014 21:04

She's a harmless dog.

All dog owners say this!

phantomnamechanger · 20/09/2014 21:05

you bought 3 things? and yet it still took all of you and such a long time? blimey that must be one huge shop!!

Original poster
Gemini121 · 20/09/2014 21:06

Sliced, I did say in the OP we were probably longer than we should have been. And I've also said I won't be taking her out if there's a chance I will have to tie her up so clearly I know now it wasn't fair to her. But I do think it's unfair for old lady to cast me as a poor parent and poor dog owner based on this when she doesn't know anything.

OP posts:
phantomnamechanger · 20/09/2014 21:06

how/why did you check on the dog so many times if you really were nipping in to buy just three items?

sorry, but this doesn't add up at all!

Fairenuff · 20/09/2014 21:07

Did you all go to the toilet too?

papercliplover · 20/09/2014 21:07

I would have judged you. For the smack and for leaving the dog

You have a newborn. You made a bad call everyone has in some shape or form at ome point. Learn from it and move on.

But you asked in your op if you should expect not to be judged. And I am sorry but yes, I would have judged you.