My BIL has Aspergers and he has coping methods to help him deal with difficult situations. So do I but I've not got one for this (I can cope with smell OR sight of it but not both unless seeing it on loo roll). How does your BIL stop himself from feeling sick and retching?
I'm not going to apologise for telling you to get a grip, but I will say that I wouldn't have said it if you had provided the relevant facts in the first place. I'm not going to apologise for being autistic or not posting a fact which I didn't realise was relevant. My condition affects the way I communicate especially when stressed and trying to avoid throwing up like I was then. It wasn't obvious that I had these issues so just assume that I don't and that I'm making up the bit about retching and feeling sick. I'll post in mental health in future - might not be the best place for guaging opinion but I might get a bit more understanding.
I feel for you OP, I recognised you from another disability thread & was going to bring up the sensory issue if you didn't first! Thanks extremepie - I've told MNers about my condition before but tend to forget that that isn't enough especially when I'm trying to avoid retching in a restaurant.
Then you need to stay inside for ever. Your needs are not as important as everyone else's, especially little babies. Why should I stay inside?? Babies grow up but I will always be autistic. Would you tell a wheelchair user not to use the bus because your PFB's needs to go in the wheelchair space in their buggy is more important than theirs and what difference does it make when it's a hidden disability?
the reason why there is little empathy is that no one likes the smell of poo and that's the most reasonable place to change it. i don't know anything about asperger's, so I don't know why it makes you more sensitive to smells, but I will take your word for it. in any case, even if you are ultra sensitive to it, you can't expect the world to either know or tip toe around it. I never expected people to tiptoe around me and there is more to my problems than just the smell.
I am ultra sensitive to the smell of fish. I find it absolutely revolting. but you know what? Tough for me. People eat fish and do so often in restaurants. If I am in a restaurant, it makes my meal substantially worse if someone at my table or near me is eating fish. But I can't expect anyone to take that into account. The best I can do is move tables or leave. it's my problem and no one else's. I know what you mean - I have similar problems with crowds and excessively noisy places. How do you suggest I avoid loos though? Should I go in the street?
Never never follow me and DD into a public toilet, she has a colostomy and it stinks and I mean stink. She is too big for the baby changing. I have never had anything but smiles and help as sometimes we have to queue jump .shock
I do think you are being unkind. So long as I don't have to see it I'm fine. If I knew about it I'd be even more understanding. I don't think you would be unreasonable to use the disabled loo though with a colostomy.
I always think that changing a baby in the actual restaurant at the table (previous thread), cafe (previous thread), friends living room/kitchen (previous thread)etc. lazy and gross.
But, in this case YABU Op. Its a toilet not a kitchen or restaurant. Get over it! Oh and clearly adult shit in restauant toilets doesn't stink! hmm It wasn't the smell - it was seeing it too and if I could get over it that easily I would have done so 20 years ago. Would you tell a paraplegic that they've got a pair of legs so get over it??
OP - what you are saying is comparable to me explaining I have a disability and also social anxiety. Therefore it is very offensive to me when I see any people about in public. AIBU to think they should have all buggered off to their own houses so that I can do my shopping in peace? It has made me feel very sick and anxious.
You see? Of course, I have absolute sympathy -I have many problems which make interacting with the world on an NT scale difficult (like bloody escalators in London) but I accept that these are MY PROBLEMS and that actually, people are not doing things just to terrify me and that I need to find coping mechanisms so that I can get by in the world.
This lady was not AIBU, you need to improve your coping mechanisms.
A psychiatrist/psychologist doesn't sound best for this -an occupational therapist might be able to forward you onto someone who can help though? I don't expect people to bugger off home simply because I don't like crowds either. This situation was less avoidable though.