Mum changing shitty nappy in ladies

[ProudAS]

I just went to the loo in a restaurant to find a mum had just changed her DC. The used nappy was on the floor with poo visible. She did get rid of the nappy (in the sanitary bin) but not the smell.

The smell made me retch and feel sick. AIBU to think she should have used the baby changing room next door?

You're still being absolutely ridiculous whether you have Aspergers or not! You cannot possibly expect to not smell poo in a public toilet.

Serious question, but what is the correct way / normal way of dealing with a used incontinence pad in a public lavatory?

Despite the drip feeding my opinion remains the same YABU.
The baby needed a nappy change, the mother changed the nappy IN THE TOILETS
When our DC need a change should we leave them a dirty nappy just in case we offended someone who may need to use the toilet in the future.
Life with a hidden disability may be hard but your demands are unreasonable and frankly unworkable.

I'b be better off with the smell of loads of them than the smell AND sight of one.

I've been in loos which smell of poo but am not affected like this unless I see it too.

Sorry about the drip feed but part of my condition is that I don't know when it's relevant to mention it. I could envisage mentioning it and being told it was a red herring. I thought the fact that it was making me retch and feel sick would indicate that there was more going on than simply disliking the smell.

If there had not been a baby changing room available I would have braved it and not posted an AIBU.

Yes I realise that changing the baby at the same time as using the loo herself may have been easier for the mum. However, using the disabled facilities is also more convenient for parents with small children and I don't see MNERS condoning that. There is obviously some difference which is obvious to neurotypicals but not to me.

The thing is, it is never going to happen that it becomes the law not to change nappies in public loos in case someone with extreme sensory sensitivity to smells comes in. So I think madwoman is right, you need to look for help in developing strategies to deal with it. And no, it doesn't make the mother in this case unreasonable.

Glory be
Is this a joke?
Pathetic op.
I can't imagine any scenario whereby changing a child in a toilet should cause offence .

YABU, you cannot expect other humans not to use the toilets because you are sensetive to toilet smells.

If it's smells partiularly you find difficult, what about carrying a small bottle of oil which you like the smell of, which is strong, which you could dab on a hankie or sleeve if you needed to?

I'm sure no one would ever tell you not to use a public toilet because of your sensory issues.

But you must expect there to be the sight/ smell of unpleasant things in public toilets.

And those things might upset you or make you feel unwell BUT that does not make the person using the toilets for their intended purpose unreasonable at all.

brilliant thread op.

next please complain about people breathing in and out. the bastards!

This is an outrage! Call 101.

oh dear

Zing, Waltonswatcher, you need to RTFT. I agree the mother wasn't BU, but OP is entitled to be cut some slack. I don't think any of use fully realise just how acute sensory sensitivity for people with ASD can be.

Even if the mum wasn't being unreasonable (which I accept) you could show me a bit of empathy over an issue which is beyond my control.

the reason why there is little empathy is that no one likes the smell of poo and that's the most reasonable place to change it. i don't know anything about asperger's, so I don't know why it makes you more sensitive to smells, but I will take your word for it. in any case, even if you are ultra sensitive to it, you can't expect the world to either know or tip toe around it.

I am ultra sensitive to the smell of fish. I find it absolutely revolting. but you know what? Tough for me. People eat fish and do so often in restaurants. If I am in a restaurant, it makes my meal substantially worse if someone at my table or near me is eating fish. But I can't expect anyone to take that into account. The best I can do is move tables or leave. it's my problem and no one else's.

Never never follow me and DD into a public toilet, she has a colostomy and it stinks and I mean stink. She is too big for the baby changing. I have never had anything but smiles and help as sometimes we have to queue jump.
I do think you are being unkind.

Everyone please support "Changing places" it really is an issue!

OP - what you are saying is comparable to me explaining I have a disability and also social anxiety. Therefore it is very offensive to me when I see any people about in public. AIBU to think they should have all buggered off to their own houses so that I can do my shopping in peace? It has made me feel very sick and anxious.

You see? Of course, I have absolute sympathy -I have many problems which make interacting with the world on an NT scale difficult (like bloody escalators in London) but I accept that these are MY PROBLEMS and that actually, people are not doing things just to terrify me and that I need to find coping mechanisms so that I can get by in the world.

This lady was not AIBU, you need to improve your coping mechanisms.

A psychiatrist/psychologist doesn't sound best for this -an occupational therapist might be able to forward you onto someone who can help though?

2old - that's fine so long as I don't see it.

I always think that changing a baby in the actual restaurant at the table (previous thread), cafe (previous thread), friends living room/kitchen (previous thread)etc. lazy and gross.

But, in this case YABU Op. Its a toilet not a kitchen or restaurant. Get over it! Oh and clearly adult shit in restauant toilets doesn't stink!

OP you said the smell made you retch.

I really don't know what the mum could have done differently. This is your issue not hers. You need to get a coping mechanism because it is a situation you will likely encounter again. And it is not an unreasonable situation.

And for the last time - it's not just smells - it's a combination of smell and sight. I'm sensitive to the smell but can cope if I don't actually have to see it.

I was trying to gauge opinion as to whether she should have used the baby changing room which was separate to the disabled loo and available and where MNERS would have chosen to change their babies.

I'm going to ask about having this thread removed. Im fed up of being attacked over something beyond my control.