to really regret the whole grammar school thing.

[newrecruit]

DS1 is in year 4 (DS2 in year 1).

I went to a girls grammar school and loved it. So when we moved out of London one of the reasons we chose this area was the schools. I don't think we are super selective (don't quite know what that means)

However, I was explaining the schools to him this morning as we drove past one and had an impending feeling of doom.

He's bright but can't be arsed. Resists pushing and I am against tutor on principal. I don't think he'd suit an all boys school.

What have I done! We should have just moved to a comprehensive area with a decent intake.

Some parents are already talking about tutors and its 2 years away. I want to hit them quite hard.

Please pile in and tell me to get a grip.

Why aren't state schools allowed to tutor students for the 11+ to enter state secondary schools? Also,why aren't older primary students (Y4-6) solit up to do work at their own level. One teacher on another thread mentioned she had L1-L6 students in her year 6 class. It's very difficult to provide appropriate differentiation with such a huge spread of ability. Finally, why are English children passed along in social promotion even if they can't read or calculate effectively? Inclusion is most profitable when everyone can do the work.
I don't have children. I have Aspergers instead. However, I wouldn't want an able child in mixed ability classes for academic subjects in the later primary or secondary years.

HattieFranks, if you are in Kent there has been some interesting speculation about the effects of guessing on the 11+ maths this year - www.elevenplusforum.org.uk/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=76&sid=ce2d78507a35e005c4aec6df64c47bf0

Huh sorry about the v long link- haven't mastered the new mobile site yet!

OP could be up near me, there's a lot of grammar schools in Lincolnshire.

Do you think that your DS enjoys learning? Does he see being top of the class as the cool thing?

Without this attitude, he will not suit a grammar school.

I have two selective children. Only one was fit for grammar. The younger one, although academically marginally brighter, would have never coped with the pressure of a selective school. He is, shall we say, a little bit theatrical dahlink.

Obviously I'm biased about the talents of my son. However ..........

I think he is naturally bright. Keen to learn, loves history etc. also always looking for explanations and testing things out (annoyingly). He has a great vocabulary and logic. He's also incredibly articulate compared to his peers (he gets that from me ).

He's always been in top or 2nd set.

His major problem has always been his focus and his inability to keep still. I'm hoping that will settle down over time. He struggled in infants but matured a lot in year 3. Still loses playtime for 'talking too much'.

I do think he would be better suited to a mixed sex though (unlike DS2) so we need to think carefully about that.

But you're right, a lot can happen in 2 years!

My dd took 11;+ don't know why because I really don't like the whole idea of it. Anyway, we looked at the grammar and one of the comprehensives . She preferred the comp. She passed 11+ but decided to go with the comp. She finished last year with A* A B and now in 2nd yr of fab uni. At the end of the hours of talking about tutors and private schools amongst friends and acquaintances I am feeling smug if you're child wants it, they will do it, maybe not now but later, but subjecting them to hours of tutoring just so you can boast at dinner parties that 'Jocasta' is at Twggs or Tiffin is tantamount to abuse unless you're prepared to pay for a tutor up to Alevels and beyond.

Op get with the program I am afraid times have changed

A friends child is in private school in London and has showed me their Maths HW, its way ahead of what we are getting ( same year). Those children are already in a great school, and will also probably get tutored on top. Preps are like mass tutoring from the get go. Your massively disadvantaging your child.

Some parents are already talking about tutors and its 2 years away. I want to hit them quite hard.

Why not hit the government instead and rile your anger at them, for the shit schools and the bun fight due to no school places we are all finding ourselves in.

but subjecting them to hours of tutoring just so you can boast at dinner parties that 'Jocasta' is at Twggs or Tiffin is tantamount to abusesad unless you're prepared to pay for a tutor up to Alevels and beyond

Hours of tutoring?

Have you read any of the 11+ threads, most DC get one hour a Week.

Bollocks to not using a tutor if required! Principles be damned. I will so anything for my kids as will most parents if they're honest. Or move.

We're in a grammar school area and it really makes me wish we were in the league of prep school affordability to be honest!

My daughter is v bright, in yr 1 of a lovely community school of a very mixed area that does stretch the more able... but that only goes to year 2. The middle school isn't that great and I think the influence of peers becomes more apparent.

The comment about the maths being ahead is what makes me sad. My daughter would easily get swept up in whatever was being taught and I'd love her to be in a more challenging environment.

Sassy, for one you're slightly talking in cliches there... Jocastas at Tiffin?! Tutoring is not just for cramming - dd was overseas so has a gap, plus struggles w core subject in which we are not prepared to let her fail. Has come on leaps and bounds with dedicated 1:1 support. We can afford it and are happy to psy for ot to supplement her (comp) education

That's such a misinformed post Sassy. Parents don't 'subject' their kids to 'hours of tutoring' merely in order to boast. I can say with absolute certainty that I've never boasted about my DC at a dinner party. Indeed if people ask how they're doing I play it dead cool, even if I am pleased with how they've done. And the 'Jocasta' thing is silly too. Tbh if your DD finished at a comp with AAB in 2013 she might very well have finished with 3 A at Tiffins and might then have even more options open to her. But you can't know. It's completely not the case that super selective kids all get tutors to A level. All my DC go to or went to a super selective and none have had a tutor for any length of time. Nor do I know of any of their friends who had a tutor to help them through KS3, 4 or 5. But it's a top super selective and the teaching is entirely sufficient. My kids have 59 A* between them at GCSE (internet only boast :)) and aren't stressed nor have I shelled out a bean for a tutor, so these schools must be doing something good. Incidentally they're by no means all top of their class.

Cross post with Swift re Jocasta :)

The comment about the maths being ahead is what makes me sad. My daughter would easily get swept up in whatever was being taught and I'd love her to be in a more challenging environment.

My DD state primary is excellent but not in the same league as a school feeding to top london public schools and grammars.

But you can support her yourself, keep an eye on what others are doing, get workbooks, and just support her.

Maths is hard for me, really hard but I am not defeated.

I also agree with previous posters, that if they dont get in, what harm has been done? They have simply been raised up a level for wherever they end up.

Without knowing where you live it's difficult to advise you.. But if you are anywhere near my region in Kent, i'd be telling you that ds1 had the the choice of super selective or selective, with very little tutoring .. chose the selective and now 4 yrs later is being prepped for Oxbridge..
But also that ds2 didn't even sit the 11+.. Much to the obvious shock of other parents.. And is at the local comp, where he's started his gcse's, including mandarin.. And he's doing brilliantly .. And is happy!! It doesn't gave to be grammar or crap you know :) don't worry at the moment, but pick the school that suits your child, not one to impress other people

If you live in an area with only grammar schools or secondary moderns, miles from any comps, no private schools either, then it can well be grammar schools or crap.

Well it could be.. Hence me saying without knowing where she lives it's difficult to comment

Molio More options ??? Cambridge studying medicine. Didn't need 3 A *s just a good interview and very confident. As for an hour a week, that's not the norm when she was doing 11+ . Neighbours children with tutor from 7 yrs old ... just wrong. It ends up with bright kids from poor backgrounds not getting a chance because those with money are coached through the exam... whole system is morally wrong and should be a level playing field or knocked on the head. If you want to pay for private then go for it but I do not want my taxes going on elitist education for those who can afford coaching for the exam. My good friend is a head of a excellent local primary,.4 % free school meals, but at local grammar 0.2%.... So are ALL poor kids below par or are their parents simply unable to afford the tutor to coach for the exam ?

Obv Cambridge studying Medicine is great with AAB Sassy as Cambridge aren't known for lenience on grades, esp as 2013 wasn't that odd in terms of A2s. Your DD must have done exceptionally well on the BMAT etc. So well done her, genuinely. I've never done smug personally, since you never know what's round the corner. Indeed only yesterday I had a talk with DS who got the same grades as your DD, also accepted to Oxbridge, and pointed out that he might need to concentrate a bit when he goes there as statistically those with only AAB tend to bomb. He said yes but then we'd been at a double graduation (his sisters) where the Vice-Chancellor has pointed out quite robustly that these degrees from Oxbridge are really quite hard won.

I agree with the poster who said you're slightly talking in clichés. My view would be to stop despairing about inequity and to champion the new tests which should move things on.

I really wish tutoring could be banned. I hate it. Can we start a campaign? These poor kids already have hours of schooling at a really young age, homework at 4, then tutors on top, and all before they're ten! I hate it!! Round our way, herts, if I don't get dds tutors, they'll bd the only ones.
When is it gonna end? Currently parents start getting tutors when their kids are 9. Some bright spark will soon realise they're own pfb could get ahead if they start at 8. Next it'll be 7.
Please, please stop it everyone. Let kids be kids.

Yhrir

Um, their not they're