To think that everyone is so bloody miserable on here?

[usualsuspect333]

It's all whinging and moaning.

Tethers, do you remember, Tethersendtoo?

What a cunt.

My dog stuck her tongue in my mouth earlier to celebrate catching and eating a daddy long legs.

I'd like to point out the dog caught and ate the daddy long legs and appeared to be celebrating.

I was watching tv.

There was a grasshopper in my bathroom.

I rescued it. I chucked it outside. The jumping flouncy green fucker.

The insects aren't giving up this year are they?

How would a grasshopper end up in my bathroom though? I was puzzled.

I am local. I don't like outsiders.

Maybe it's your conscience?

Oh yes, I remember Tethersendtoo. I remember VERY well.

And YOU, brain, you know as well as I do that 90% of my posts come straight out of my arse SO THERE.

Grasshopper? I thought they were foreign beasties? Do you get them here?

Well brain helps. And if you're not nicer to me I'm going on strike.

I've just googled grasshoppers and now realise they do live here.

I wonder if Usuals was wearing a hat and pocket watch?

What was it then? It was green with grasshopper like legs?

I did the googling

Maybe you rescued jiminy cricket!

Actually was he a cricket? Is a cricket a grasshopper? I think I need to go to bed.

I'm a ray of fucking sunshine, I'll have you know.

You stay right where you are MrsB, they mostly look the same but grasshoppers are active in the day and crickets at night.

That made me sound as though I knew that before googling it

Oooh you learn something new everyday.

I really thought about asking you if you'd googled that but thought that would be cheeky of me!

Are crickets green? Ds the big wuss , was freaking out.

I quite liked it though. I was channeling Kung fu bloke and saying ahh grasshopper.

I'd plug myself into google and wikipedia if it wasn't for the risk of encouraging long term oppression and exploitation.

Grasshopper.