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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be livid about the way my brother left my house?

180 replies

TaraS1979 · 16/09/2014 21:47

I have NC for this.
Earlier this year DP and I found our dream house at a rock bottom price. However our house hadn't yet sold, so his parents gave us the money to buy this home, and were due to pay them back when our first house sells.
Round about the time we were moving in, my brother, his wife and their toddler son moved back to the uk after being abroad for a year. They had no home to move into, having sold their house, so had the idea of living in our first house until we sold it or until they found a house themselves. This suited us as we otherwise would have had to find £700 per month for the mortgage payment (we charge DB £500 a month which is just below market rate).

They've been in there for about 5 months and agreed to show any potential buyers around. Which they have done, and have always had a tidy house when doing this. We decided to change estate agents a few weeks ago, and they were coming to take pictures of the house while DB and SIL were on holiday. So I text them a few days before their hols to ask them to make sure the garden was weeded, grass cut, tidy inside with DNs toys put away etc, so it was photo ready.

The day the estate agent went round i went to the house also, although everything was as I asked, the laminate floor was sticky in places, the grass hadn't been cut very well and inside the oven was disgusting. There was also food marks on the walls by DNs highchair, although SIL did tell me about that a few weeks ago and offered to re-paint it, but I told her not to bother as me and DP would do it at some point. The agent took pictures of the whole house (except for the grass, I told him I'd cut it and he can come back tomorrow to take the pic) however I was furious about the floor and oven and spent hours cleaning both and also marks on the walls. My DP, DDs and DDs dad came over when I was cleaning and agreed the floor and oven were a state.

I admit I did get very cross and put a status on Facebook about being disappointed and needing a drink. Not the most mature thing I know but that's how angry I was! The oven is only 2 years old! They didn't pay a deposit and we don't have a tenancy agreement in place, but if we did I'd be knocking money of their deposit for a deep clean!
The day DB and SIL came back from holiday I sent them a text telling them I wasn't impressed with the house, that I'd cleaned and cut the grass better and can they please keep the house to this standard from now on. I sent pictures that I took to prove I wasn't exaggerating.

TBH I was expecting an apology and a thank you for cleaning the oven and floor. However they have gone absolutely spare, have said that I had no right to clean the oven and floor, or bring people (my family) into the house when they were away. They'd have preferred it if I'd have told them when they got back so they could have cleaned it themselves. They also figured out the Facebook status was about them, which I apologised for and removed. They have called me a 'terrible person' and claim that a lot of the marks on the wall were there when they moved in.

They are now not speaking to me and are moving out as a result, which puts us up shit creek as we now need to find £500 a month plus 50% council tax! I'm fuming, and I honestly don't think I'm in the wrong.

Who IBU - me or them? DP says it's them but my mum thinks I was out of order and shouldn't have done it without their permission.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
chicaguapa · 19/09/2014 14:45
Grin

No, I'm not OP. I promise.

I just could see my sis doing this. Then the fact that she'd not looked after the house or left it photo-ready being eclipsed by my going off on one about it and the fact that she was paying part of the mortgage on the house.

I wouldn't have cleaned the oven though. But thanks for the Cake Wink

justkeeponsmiling · 19/09/2014 15:00

YABVVU

rainbowinmyroom · 19/09/2014 15:07

I hope your brother goes on to find better people in his life, or at least ones who don't behave as if the world revolves around them and everyone in it is there to serve their needs.

Megalomaniacs never learn this, though.

Neyite · 19/09/2014 15:21

I dont think it was about the photos at all. You just wanted to have a good snoop in their home while they were away and the estate agent's visit was your cover.

cakecake · 19/09/2014 15:39

I could alllllmost see your point of view...up until the facebook thing! I would not be happy if someone put a personal dispute up about me on facebook. I imagine you are very houseproud but you have to realise that different people have different standards and the last thing they needed before they were about to go on holiday was you telling them to tidy up!

I'm not sure if you are even looking at the responses on this thread anymore but just in case you are: life is far far too short to get worried about these sort of things and family is too important. Swallow your pride, apologise for your overreaction and move on!

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