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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be livid about the way my brother left my house?

180 replies

TaraS1979 · 16/09/2014 21:47

I have NC for this.
Earlier this year DP and I found our dream house at a rock bottom price. However our house hadn't yet sold, so his parents gave us the money to buy this home, and were due to pay them back when our first house sells.
Round about the time we were moving in, my brother, his wife and their toddler son moved back to the uk after being abroad for a year. They had no home to move into, having sold their house, so had the idea of living in our first house until we sold it or until they found a house themselves. This suited us as we otherwise would have had to find £700 per month for the mortgage payment (we charge DB £500 a month which is just below market rate).

They've been in there for about 5 months and agreed to show any potential buyers around. Which they have done, and have always had a tidy house when doing this. We decided to change estate agents a few weeks ago, and they were coming to take pictures of the house while DB and SIL were on holiday. So I text them a few days before their hols to ask them to make sure the garden was weeded, grass cut, tidy inside with DNs toys put away etc, so it was photo ready.

The day the estate agent went round i went to the house also, although everything was as I asked, the laminate floor was sticky in places, the grass hadn't been cut very well and inside the oven was disgusting. There was also food marks on the walls by DNs highchair, although SIL did tell me about that a few weeks ago and offered to re-paint it, but I told her not to bother as me and DP would do it at some point. The agent took pictures of the whole house (except for the grass, I told him I'd cut it and he can come back tomorrow to take the pic) however I was furious about the floor and oven and spent hours cleaning both and also marks on the walls. My DP, DDs and DDs dad came over when I was cleaning and agreed the floor and oven were a state.

I admit I did get very cross and put a status on Facebook about being disappointed and needing a drink. Not the most mature thing I know but that's how angry I was! The oven is only 2 years old! They didn't pay a deposit and we don't have a tenancy agreement in place, but if we did I'd be knocking money of their deposit for a deep clean!
The day DB and SIL came back from holiday I sent them a text telling them I wasn't impressed with the house, that I'd cleaned and cut the grass better and can they please keep the house to this standard from now on. I sent pictures that I took to prove I wasn't exaggerating.

TBH I was expecting an apology and a thank you for cleaning the oven and floor. However they have gone absolutely spare, have said that I had no right to clean the oven and floor, or bring people (my family) into the house when they were away. They'd have preferred it if I'd have told them when they got back so they could have cleaned it themselves. They also figured out the Facebook status was about them, which I apologised for and removed. They have called me a 'terrible person' and claim that a lot of the marks on the wall were there when they moved in.

They are now not speaking to me and are moving out as a result, which puts us up shit creek as we now need to find £500 a month plus 50% council tax! I'm fuming, and I honestly don't think I'm in the wrong.

Who IBU - me or them? DP says it's them but my mum thinks I was out of order and shouldn't have done it without their permission.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
calzone · 16/09/2014 22:30

I would be furious too if I was your brother! AngryAngry

Yabvvvvvu.

You need to grovel, apologise and take flowers round. ThanksThanks

MsMarvel · 16/09/2014 22:32

Surely this is a reverse?

Wantsunshine · 16/09/2014 22:34

YABU and you have shot yourself in the foot with overly precious cleaning. You won't be able to rent your place out if you are planning to sell as non family members will not move in and have viewings. They will want a 6 month tenancy.
So, now they are moving out for you being frankly crazy you are going to need to find an extra 500 per month. I don't think they do the 50% council tax anymore for 2nd homes. My council certainly doesn't.
Sounds like your brother has done you a favour as he could have moved anywhere.

EllasMum16 · 16/09/2014 22:36

I'm quite new to mumsnet, what does everyone mean when they say reverse? Do you mean the op is actually the tenant and not the landlord and if so why would the op do that? Sorry if I'm being thick!

I would also say as a tenant that I'd be furious if someone did this to me, if you let out your house you can't expect to enter whenever you like and do as you wish, it's their home while they are living there.

AnyFucker · 16/09/2014 22:37

yes, that is a reverse

feathermucker · 16/09/2014 22:40

Jesus....YABVVVVU!!!!

You really do come across as a snob and have completely overreacted!

Why the feck should they thank you for doing something that didn't need to be done and that they didn't ask you to do ?!?!?!

You really are clutching at straws with expecting a thank you - you have been universally told that YABU !

If it's a reverse, just bloody tell us already !!

pictish · 16/09/2014 22:41

Yep - normal tenants won't cut the grass and clean the oven before letting people in for viewings.
You were on to a good thing with your bro staying there.

Strokethefurrywall · 16/09/2014 22:43

I would be delighted to leave you up shit creek without a paddle if you did that to me.

I'm Team Bro!

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 16/09/2014 22:45

Over repeated house moves (renting and buying), I reckon I've viewed knocking on for 100 houses.

I have never looked inside an oven.

HTH.

(And hope this is a reverse)

awsomer · 16/09/2014 22:46

Come on OP, 'fess up.

Bowlersarm · 16/09/2014 22:48

I'm another one to add to the list of YABU

silversixpence · 16/09/2014 22:53

YABU and ridiculous

ThePinkOcelot · 16/09/2014 22:55

Has the OP been back?! OP ....... where are you?!

YABVVVVU. I don't blame your brother for not speaking to you. You sound like a PITA.

YoMrWhite · 16/09/2014 22:56

YABU. Quite astoundingly so.

arethereanyleftatall · 16/09/2014 22:58

Big mistake. Huge.
You were on to a good thing with your brother in there whilst viewings were taking place. I'm not sure tenants would be obliged to tidy up for multiple viewings?
Anyway, I would be profusely apologising and begging him to return.

DorisIsALittleBitPartial · 16/09/2014 23:02

I think YABU too, but is it because you are panicking about selling your house? I got a pretty stressy about the state of my flat when we were trying to sell it and OTT about it being clean and tidy, even though it was just me and DH there. When I started polishing the kettle before a viewing DH had to rein me in...

guaranteedpersonality · 16/09/2014 23:02

You have behaved dreadfully.

SistersOfPercy · 16/09/2014 23:03

Shameless place marking on the review chance op comes back.

Oh, and YABU.

SistersOfPercy · 16/09/2014 23:03

Review? Remote. Damn phone.

pictish · 16/09/2014 23:06

She's on the phone to her brother...making nice. Wink

SistersOfPercy · 16/09/2014 23:07

Or stocking up on Mr muscle all purpose cleaner Grin

Waltermittythesequel · 16/09/2014 23:07

I fucking hate reverses! They're pointless and irritating.

New to MN, OP?

OhMyArsingGodInABox · 16/09/2014 23:12

Oh dear. I quite like a reversey Percy actually. But most people don't.

NoodleOodle · 16/09/2014 23:12

I need to know, is this a reverse?

AlpacaLypse · 16/09/2014 23:13

Hmmm, 73 messages. Two from me, so subtract one... one was your OP, so subtract another one ... that still leaves 71 yabus!

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