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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be livid about the way my brother left my house?

180 replies

TaraS1979 · 16/09/2014 21:47

I have NC for this.
Earlier this year DP and I found our dream house at a rock bottom price. However our house hadn't yet sold, so his parents gave us the money to buy this home, and were due to pay them back when our first house sells.
Round about the time we were moving in, my brother, his wife and their toddler son moved back to the uk after being abroad for a year. They had no home to move into, having sold their house, so had the idea of living in our first house until we sold it or until they found a house themselves. This suited us as we otherwise would have had to find £700 per month for the mortgage payment (we charge DB £500 a month which is just below market rate).

They've been in there for about 5 months and agreed to show any potential buyers around. Which they have done, and have always had a tidy house when doing this. We decided to change estate agents a few weeks ago, and they were coming to take pictures of the house while DB and SIL were on holiday. So I text them a few days before their hols to ask them to make sure the garden was weeded, grass cut, tidy inside with DNs toys put away etc, so it was photo ready.

The day the estate agent went round i went to the house also, although everything was as I asked, the laminate floor was sticky in places, the grass hadn't been cut very well and inside the oven was disgusting. There was also food marks on the walls by DNs highchair, although SIL did tell me about that a few weeks ago and offered to re-paint it, but I told her not to bother as me and DP would do it at some point. The agent took pictures of the whole house (except for the grass, I told him I'd cut it and he can come back tomorrow to take the pic) however I was furious about the floor and oven and spent hours cleaning both and also marks on the walls. My DP, DDs and DDs dad came over when I was cleaning and agreed the floor and oven were a state.

I admit I did get very cross and put a status on Facebook about being disappointed and needing a drink. Not the most mature thing I know but that's how angry I was! The oven is only 2 years old! They didn't pay a deposit and we don't have a tenancy agreement in place, but if we did I'd be knocking money of their deposit for a deep clean!
The day DB and SIL came back from holiday I sent them a text telling them I wasn't impressed with the house, that I'd cleaned and cut the grass better and can they please keep the house to this standard from now on. I sent pictures that I took to prove I wasn't exaggerating.

TBH I was expecting an apology and a thank you for cleaning the oven and floor. However they have gone absolutely spare, have said that I had no right to clean the oven and floor, or bring people (my family) into the house when they were away. They'd have preferred it if I'd have told them when they got back so they could have cleaned it themselves. They also figured out the Facebook status was about them, which I apologised for and removed. They have called me a 'terrible person' and claim that a lot of the marks on the wall were there when they moved in.

They are now not speaking to me and are moving out as a result, which puts us up shit creek as we now need to find £500 a month plus 50% council tax! I'm fuming, and I honestly don't think I'm in the wrong.

Who IBU - me or them? DP says it's them but my mum thinks I was out of order and shouldn't have done it without their permission.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Bulbasaur · 16/09/2014 23:13

We decided to change estate agents a few weeks ago, and they were coming to take pictures of the house while DB and SIL were on holiday. So I text them a few days before their hols to ask them to make sure the garden was weeded, grass cut, tidy inside with DNs toys put away etc, so it was photo ready.

Were they ok with you coming around while they were out? Or did you have a spare key and just tell them that's what was going on? One of these situations is ok, one is not.

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

If you want to rent your house you need to do that. If you want to sell it, it needs to be empty. They were nice enough to clean it up for you so you could try and do both.

If I got a text about a few sticky spots and the inside of my oven to critique my housekeeping skills, I'd move out too. You've way over stepped the line.

FoxSticks · 16/09/2014 23:14

It's been nearly an hour and a half and the op hasn't come back, it's not looking good for an update is it?

Wantsunshine · 16/09/2014 23:14

I quite like a reverse but I do hate it when an op doesn't come back

Waltermittythesequel · 16/09/2014 23:14

Really, Arsing?

Can I ask what appeals about them? I don't think I've ever seen anyone say they like them!

SistersOfPercy · 16/09/2014 23:16

If this isn't a reverse op and you are ever over my way we are getting ready to put the house on the market and my grass is a jungle and my oven could do with a freshen up.

OhMyArsingGodInABox · 16/09/2014 23:19

They add colour and spice to what is an otherwise increasingly bland board full of pointless aibus.

ItsNotEasyBeingGreen · 16/09/2014 23:20

Just read this while thread trying to find out if it's a reverse.

OP you are v v v v v unreasonable... I'm with your brother on this one.

Unless this is a reverse obviously. I bloody hate reverse threads.

KatieKaye · 16/09/2014 23:22

Just how dirty can an oven get over a few months?
And what was wrong with the way they cut the grass? No stripes?

HavanaSlife · 16/09/2014 23:23

Yabu obviously

DefinitleySpeltWrong · 16/09/2014 23:25

YANBU

(Shhh....., I'm trying to tempt the OP back with a YANBU ) Hmm

halestone · 16/09/2014 23:26

yabu

WandaDoff · 16/09/2014 23:34

You've scared her off, you reasonable bastards Grin

MammaTJ · 16/09/2014 23:55

Anyone for...........................

To be livid about the way my brother left my house?
Triooooooooooo · 17/09/2014 00:20

Indeed.

To be livid about the way my brother left my house?
Badvoc123 · 17/09/2014 00:24

Wow.
Y are so bu!!

Username12345 · 17/09/2014 00:33

YANBU!

You're well rid.

missingmumxox · 17/09/2014 00:36

The Op has left the building.

oh! and you are being unreasonable.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 17/09/2014 02:03
kittybelle · 17/09/2014 02:22

Deluded !!!

Sorry but if your house only rents out for £500 a month - it must be a shit-hole already or in an unsavory neighbourhood....tinkering with the grass trimmings will not make a difference.

Clearly its not selling at the price it is on at - changing the agent wont help...you need to change the price - suggest you drop it 10K and shift it now otherwise you will loose even more in money thru void/no rent when your brother packs up,

You are deluded

Darkandstormynight · 17/09/2014 04:51

YABVVU!!

however · 17/09/2014 05:44

Had I been in the house I'd have left it immaculate (including the oven) - given a reasonable amount of notice, you don't say how much notice you gave. I would not have been happy about people in my house when I was away. You lose any ground you have when you start posting PA statuses on FB.

catsmother · 17/09/2014 05:50

I opened this thread, based on its title, expecting lurid tales of filthy toilets, trashed kitchen units, kids' drawings all over the walls, red wine all over the carpet, flea infestations, gouged laminate floors, a jungle of a garden full of old bikes, washing machines and mattresses, maggots in the bin, broken furniture and so on.

I now feel distinctly underwhelmed.

musicalendorphins2 · 17/09/2014 06:51

Landlords have to expect wear and tear on a house. Even if they did pay a damage deposit you would not have the right to use it for the things you complain about. They are still living in the house.

AveryJessup · 17/09/2014 06:57

Same here catsmother! I was hoping for some truly lurid, horrifying stuff and instead it's just a dirty oven and a sticky floor aka normal wear and tear. What a letdown!

Oh well... looks like the OP was either a wind-up or reverse anyway as she hasn't been back to update...Hmm

poolomoomon · 17/09/2014 07:05

kittybelle not strictly true. Where I am up North that's a fairly reasonable amount to pay for rent, usually around £500-800 PCM depending on size of the property and location. Obviously you'd only get a shithole if anything at all down south for that but up here you get nice houses in alright areas for that much.

Well this is universally yabu Grin. I was expecting the ceiling had caved in, wiring been stripped and flooring removed... How disappointing.