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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think some people are not cut out for "passions"

153 replies

Itsjustmeagain · 16/09/2014 10:34

I know so many people who have a "passion" one thing in their life the dream of or cant get enough of. DH has always had a dream to run a particular type of business, which he now does. Friends of mine describe themselves as being passionate about all sort of things from breastfeeding to teaching.

I have NEVER felt like this about anything. I was a breastfeeding peer supporter for example and everyone else in the group would go crazy reading all the lastest research, posting about it all over facebook etc etc but i was just "meh" I mean I wanted to help people breastfeed but I just didnt feel as strongly about it as they did - which is the reason i quit in the end.

It is the same with other things, I did a history degree when I was younger, it was ok but I wouldnt say I was particularly interested in history. It just peaked my interest very slightly more that the other courses on offer!

Now I work from home for Dhs business and hate it. DH says do whatever you want, set up a business of your own and the main business can help support it, go to uni again, get a job, volunteer and then he says "do what you are passionate about!"

um nothing?I have NEVER since being a child has a passion or a drea mof the future!

AIBU to think that not everyone is cut out for "passions" some people just do things that are slightly less bad than the other options?

Or am i just really really boring?

OP posts:
secretreveleater · 16/09/2014 10:42

Maybe you've just never found 'your thing'. Keep looking Smile

grocklebox · 16/09/2014 10:43

Maybe you just haven't found it yet?

(ps its piqued rather than peaked: I have a small passion for spelling Grin )

Mrsjayy · 16/09/2014 10:44

I don't think being meh about the breastfeeding was a reason to stop doing the suport fwiw women need women like you to support the not bombard them withnew research I think you hastily left fwiw, anyway you must be interested in something anything you dont have to be passionate about anything my dh is trained as a plumber he is non to passionate about shite Grin.

What did you want to do as a job when you were little what sory of things do you like now

rainbowinmyroom · 16/09/2014 10:45

Why do you feel the need for a passion? What's wrong with just being a decent human being.

PenisesAreNotPink · 16/09/2014 10:46

Maybe your passionate about bimbling along Grin

Write a blog about bimbling

mrsbabookaloo · 16/09/2014 10:48

OP, I can totally relate to this. DH sometimes has a go at me about it. There are things I like and things I'm into, but I'm not obsessive about anything.

scarletforya · 16/09/2014 10:49

I have NEVER since being a child has a passion or a dream of the future!

Ditto. You're the first person I've ever met who has said that. When I was a child I never, ever thought of the future. It was a non-concept to me. I had no concept of what I wanted to be.

Even on my last day at school, it didn't occur to me to envision what I would be doing the next day.

PetulaGordino · 16/09/2014 10:50

do you want to have a passion? presumably there are things you look forward to, that you undertake with (relative, perhaps) enthusiasm?

Original poster
Itsjustmeagain · 16/09/2014 11:01

mrs - I never ever wanted to BE anything. My dcs now have all sorts of ideas from being a doctor (dd2) to a sausage (dd4 Grin) . I dont ever remember thinking of the future at all! As I say when I chose my degree my mum had died just a few weeks before I was filling in the UCAS form at school so I went in the careers room picked up the first 5 booklets they had and applied for those! I had no idea what I was applying for! I ended up in Cardiff as it was the first one I picked up!

rainbow - I hope I am a decent person but i don't wake up in the morning thinking WOW its a great day to be a decent person!

Penises - I do bimble very well I am GREAT at being "ok" at things!

Scarlet - no I never though of the future either, the only thing I can think is that my mum was very ill through most of my childhood and we moved around a lot (16 different houses) 4 different secondary schools. So perhaps I was just too busy getting through the days to develop and dreams!

Petula - I do want a passion although I cant think of much that I actually look forward to. Im not a very "looking forward" type of person.

OP posts:
MrsGoslingWannabe · 16/09/2014 11:04

I was a bf peer supporter too and was quite passionate about it but something made me stop. Thinking I was crap I think and that I wasn't any use to anyone.

I struggle to be enthusiastic about anything. My 'dreams' have always been very detached from reality.

Original poster
Itsjustmeagain · 16/09/2014 11:06

Mrs I know what you mean enthusiasm doesn't com easily to me either!
I look at things and think I cant do that because a..b..c..

OP posts:
PetulaGordino · 16/09/2014 11:09

this is a bit pop psychology here, but you've mentioned your mum being ill through a lot of your childhood and then dying when you were coming up to adulthood, with lots of moving around. i think your comment "just too busy getting through the days to develop and dreams" is very telling. it doesn't sound like the "now" was ever very certain or stable, so if you didn't know how long your mum was going to be around, or how long you were likely to stay in the same place, then it would have been very difficult to make future plans on that basis. it does sound tough Flowers

do you never think "i have X event on saturday, that will be fun"? or "X film sounds good, i'll see that when it comes out"

GlassNoodle · 16/09/2014 11:09

Maybe you're just happy living in the moment, taking life as it comes? Unless you're bored or unhappy I would stress about it. Some people just love geeking out about one thing, others are more...balanced? If you're bored just have fun trying out lots of new things, you don't need to have a talent or be the world's foremost expert in that thing. My friend's a bit like that - she calls herself a 'dabbler' - tries something out for a bit, has enough of it and moves on!

PetulaGordino · 16/09/2014 11:10

is there anything that makes you angry?

GlassNoodle · 16/09/2014 11:10

I WOULDN'T stress about it, I mean!

PetulaGordino · 16/09/2014 11:11

i do agree that there is nothing wrong with just bimbling along. you shouldn't be made to feel that your life is lesser because that's how you work and you're happy as you are

Original poster
Itsjustmeagain · 16/09/2014 11:15

do you never think "i have X event on saturday, that will be fun"? or "X film sounds good, i'll see that when it comes out"

no I never think that . I would think "ughh X event on saturday Ill need to get everyone ready to go"

Glass - I do dabble, 'i have done family history and i do some crafts.I just get bored easily Grin.

Petula - how do you mean - I get angry occasionally, mostly if the kids are being terrors!

OP posts:
MajesticWhine · 16/09/2014 11:15

Looking forward, making plans, having a passion - these are all things that could go wrong and lead to disappointment. So perhaps at an unconscious level your stance protects you from failure and disappointment.

Mrsjayy · 16/09/2014 11:21

I used to be passionate pretty militant in my late teens it was the 80s if there was a march I was on it but now tbh I am quite meh about things I dont think you need a passion to be happy or a cause to fight for are you happy I think just bimbling (great word) is ok. I do have Interest s but I am not passionate about things I am a bit of a like to feel secure sort of person I admire people who go out on a limb for things its just not in me

snowmummy · 16/09/2014 11:22

I've never found my passion career wise either although I am passionate about some non job related things.

Bulbasaur · 16/09/2014 11:25

You can be passionate about something without it being all consuming. I'm passionate about my hobbies, but I don't post about them all the time and it doesn't take up my entire head space. It's just one of those gentle enjoyment sort of things. It doesn't need to be an intense driving, obsessive need.

PetulaGordino · 16/09/2014 11:28

I asked about anger because some people's passions come out of anger or a sense of injustice. But not everyone has to be an activist

I agree with majesticwhine

seasavage · 16/09/2014 11:29

I'm the same. Possibly because I found two big house moves as a child gave me a strong sense of 'what's the point other people control my plans'. I work really hard to not think like that (recent miscarriages have put me back there). I'm not saying there's always a reason though. Being busy and getting on with life doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.

Mrsjayy · 16/09/2014 11:31

I like what Bulbasaur just said that is how I feel about things

LucilleBluth · 16/09/2014 11:40

I'm with you OP. I'm in the middle of a History degree, I do love history but the degree is very dry and certainly not my passion. I also see it with my DCs, DS1 is amazing at playing guitar, he would spend all day playing....DS2 is a maths wizz and loves football.....DD is only three but I'm sure her passion for Frozen will be life long ;). I have never known what I wanted to do with my life, ever. I have dipped my toe in plenty of things, I spent five years living abroad, I haven't wasted time but I haven't had a passion as such.

In fact I have a passion for a certain rock singer, buying all his records, seeing him on tour and I have his autograph framed on my wall.....does that count :)

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