AIBU to think some people are not cut out for "passions"

[Itsjustmeagain]

I know so many people who have a "passion" one thing in their life the dream of or cant get enough of. DH has always had a dream to run a particular type of business, which he now does. Friends of mine describe themselves as being passionate about all sort of things from breastfeeding to teaching.

I have NEVER felt like this about anything. I was a breastfeeding peer supporter for example and everyone else in the group would go crazy reading all the lastest research, posting about it all over facebook etc etc but i was just "meh" I mean I wanted to help people breastfeed but I just didnt feel as strongly about it as they did - which is the reason i quit in the end.

It is the same with other things, I did a history degree when I was younger, it was ok but I wouldnt say I was particularly interested in history. It just peaked my interest very slightly more that the other courses on offer!

Now I work from home for Dhs business and hate it. DH says do whatever you want, set up a business of your own and the main business can help support it, go to uni again, get a job, volunteer and then he says "do what you are passionate about!"

um nothing?I have NEVER since being a child has a passion or a drea mof the future!

AIBU to think that not everyone is cut out for "passions" some people just do things that are slightly less bad than the other options?

Or am i just really really boring?

I want to subscribe to the bimbling blog!
No passion here either OP, and I have felt quite guilty and inadequate about it at times. My parents were both hugely passionate about their professions (musicians) and although I had a good deal of talent, I had no desire to follow in their footsteps. I'm 35 now, and still struggling with the idea that I may never find a passion.

Move to Scotland and discover a passion for politicking!

I'm worn out with it. Which just goes to show me life is more pleasant and probably productive without a passion!

Well I have the problem that I have a passion about my job and my hobbies and google everything I am curious about (which is a lot) and have a great deal of curiosity except for sex and violence which don't attract me in the slightest for some reason.
This ability to be very interested in stuff was problematic with DH who has a philosophy of minimum attachment and least work to get the job done and actually despises those who work hard even if they are passionate about their work and thinks they have no fun in life and though this was an attraction to begin with ultimately it became very undermining.
So I don't think it matters whether one has a passion or not as the steady pace of the steadier lifestyle is perfectly fine, but I do think it important to have a compatible partner.

Nah, I don't have a passion when it comes to work, certainly. I quite like my job, it pays the mortgage, the ppl are nice. DH has a vocation and would work even if he were rich. Me, I do the lottery every week

But I do love music. I don't call that a "passion" because I would find that very artificial. It gives me deep pleasure, I love to do it, and life would be very sad if I couldn't. To me a passion is something that takes over, that you obsess about. I'm not like that.

I'm not one for passions either. I do things for bit and quite enjoy them, then give them up and do something else. For example, singing in a choir, learning to knit, going running, working in a shop, working from home.

I used to fret about it but now I just accept that's how I am. It does mean I am reasonably good at quite a few things! But I'll never be an expert.

My childhood was one of trying to survive as well. I think I have learnt to have low expectations and if stuff is "ok" or "reasonable" then that's good enough for me.

Passion = possibility for disappointment and overblown expectations.

Another bimbler here. DH can't get to grips with it. He's constantly thinking up new plans of what to do with our lives and is upset when I don't bring it up or talk to him enthusiastically about the possibilities. I m just trying to get through the present quite frankly.
I like stuff but don't looooove stuff. I like a particular craft and have loads of ideas for it but can't seem to gather enough energy to see them through.
I hate the word passionate. Far too over used, on X factor and master chef. Does my head in.
Stay bimbling people

ChildLine.

I LOVE it.

I think the world needs so all rounders too. and no I am not passionate about anything in particular. I try to remember that my particular set of skills will be different from others.

I'm not really a passionate person, but working in the NGO sector, I meet a lot of people who are, and it does help achieve change because these people don't take their eyes off the prize and are prepared to go to quite epic lengths to achieve what they see as important. When you're faced with a fog of bureaucracy and indifference, these people are 100% necessary. However, behind them are usually an army of dedicated but not as passionate people who are equally important in getting the job done, because they're the planners and the executors. Takes all sorts. Extreme passion can also lead to a singlemindedness that means you miss good opportunities. Some of the happiest people I know are the jacks of all trades.

I'm a bimbler too. I guess I'm only really passionate about my family, home life and friends and I'm ok with that.

If "passions" become obsessions then there's going to be some opportunity cost/ price to be paid for it (eg the "Iron Man" for whom training and competing takes priority over family life).

I am exactly the same.

I was, and still am, very envious of people who are so clear on what career they wanted to have. I have never felt a pull in any particular direction.

I always think people who say they are passionate about stuff are odd tbh.

don't be mean about the passionate people, it's not fair

criticise the obsession from some quarters with everyone needing to have a passion by all means

I agree with the previous posters who say the problem is with the terminology. 'Passion' is stupidly overused in all kinds of inappropriate ways in the media in relation to what are essentially what used to be called 'hobbies' or 'pastimes' (look at the difference between the word 'passion' and 'pastime' -- ie. between 'something obsessive and all-consuming' vs 'something you do in order to make the time pass').

It always sounds to me like those tacked-on, space-filling bits at the end of not-very-good cvs: 'My passions are shopping and watching TV.'

I'm an obsessive reader and writer, and make a living from that - and I would continue to write if I knew I would never make another penny from it - but I would never use the word 'passion' in relation to it. A lot of my friends work in the arts, so I suppose I know a fair few people whose work is their 'passion', but I think that for the majority of people, work is simply something they do to pay the bills. And that's ok, as long as you're not unhappy about it.

But I think to feel miserable because you are being told you NEED a 'passion' is like allowing yourself to feel inadequate because society tells you you can only be fulfilled via marriage and/children.

I personally think people who go on and on about their passions making a big deal about it are trying to validate themselves from it. Or maybe think that by just saying well I like x,y,z makes them look a bit boring so revert to a X-factor type hyperbole when describing their hobby

You don't need to be always passionate about stuff to enjoy life, I take enjoyment from lots of things such as travelling, gardening, cooking and baking but wouldn't describe myself as passionate about any of them. To me having a passion conjures up having an all-consuming need that sometimes threatens to over-take and overwhelm the simple enjoyment of just living life

I watched The Passion Of The Christ. It was brilliant.

OP, I'm the same.

I've never had any 'passions' either - it's quite a relief to see I'm not on my own! (Although thinking about it, I don't suppose many of my friends do either.)

I left school at 16 because I had no idea what I wanted to study at a higher level. I started work in a bank straight away and worked there for 20 years, working my way up to a relatively senior level, but was never particularly enthusiastic about it. I did have a burst of enthusiasm in 2005 and climbed Kilimanjaro and took three months unpaid leave to do a university access course, but stiil couldn't decide what to study at university.

I'm now a SAHM looking to return to work and will probably do low level office work because it's all I know and the hours would suit my family!!!

But I'm actually very happy with my life. I'm happily married, have two lovely children, no real financial worries and I'm quite happy bimbling along.

As for those ridiculous job adverts - 'must be passionate about providing excellent customer service' . FFS.

I think being passionate about something is pretty subjective. As others have said, one person's passion is another's 'enthusiasm' or 'love' for something.

If passion does constitute being so enthusiastic, evangelical, and dedicated to something, presumably at the cost of other areas of life, I don't think there would be room for everbody to have and pursue a passion. Quite often those with a passion seem to require support and flexibility from their nearest and dearest, who might not have time for their own passion, if they were required to have one.

louise
I don't think we are told we need a passion. We would just quite like to feel that strongly about something. I personally feel I am missing out.
I don't think the terminlology matters too much. You are obviously passionate about your writing - you would do it as your hobby or pastime. There is nothing I would love to do as my hobby or pastime. I lose interest very quickly, therefore I feel I am missing out.

Having said that, I am happy with my life. Perhaps us bimblers have it better, as we are more content with life generally.

I don't have any passions either and sometimes dh has made me feel like there is something wrong with me. Although, following his passion has brought us a lot of financial hardship and stress so I'm not sure who is better off.
I do have a job I am reasonably happy with and have done ok in an area I have always been interested in but I can't say I feel really strongly about it.
I would like to develop more interests outside but don't really have the time or money.
It's almost as though it feels self-indulgent in some way, or even embarrassing to be upfront about the things I care about. I think I am too self-conscious be passionate.
I am also very private so don't like people knowing what is going on in my head.
Good to know I am not alone, though.

Bouttime, don't you think that implicitly it's a message that's widespread in our society? Look how much career advice implies it, or university entrants are told to choose a degree in a subject about which they are 'passionate'? And lots of those 'how to lead a happier life' studies that filter their way down into magazines feature prominently the idea that the happiest people are those whose work is their 'passion'.

Whereas I think it's a lot more complicated than that, as shown by the large numbers of self-confessed 'bimblers' (fabulous word!) on this thread who say they are very happy in their lives, but feel they are 'supposed' to have a 'passion'...?

I'm the same, although my problem is that I like too many things...
I start lots of hobbies (painting, sewing, knitting, I make christmas decorations, felt toys..you name it!) but eventually I stop focusing on what I'm doing and change to something else. Which means: a) I never finish anything, b)I never learn to do anything properly... I'm just average in lots of crafts.
I hate it when I read people saying "To be happy, work in what you're passionate about"... I'm 41 and I still don't know what my passion is. But I'm not unhappy, I guess I just wished I had found something to focus on.

I am very lucky, or maybe I'm not. I have a job that is one of my passions and a hobby that is another. One doesn't pay much and the other is cheap but I enjoy my job every day and can do my hobby every day if I want to. My children both have a passion as well and we are fortunate that we are able to afford it. However, I got to that point by making choices - I gave up my well paid job, moved to a much cheaper part of the country and bought a smaller house so I would have disposable income to spend on what is important. Not so much luck as decision making.