AIBU to think some people are not cut out for "passions"

[Itsjustmeagain]

I know so many people who have a "passion" one thing in their life the dream of or cant get enough of. DH has always had a dream to run a particular type of business, which he now does. Friends of mine describe themselves as being passionate about all sort of things from breastfeeding to teaching.

I have NEVER felt like this about anything. I was a breastfeeding peer supporter for example and everyone else in the group would go crazy reading all the lastest research, posting about it all over facebook etc etc but i was just "meh" I mean I wanted to help people breastfeed but I just didnt feel as strongly about it as they did - which is the reason i quit in the end.

It is the same with other things, I did a history degree when I was younger, it was ok but I wouldnt say I was particularly interested in history. It just peaked my interest very slightly more that the other courses on offer!

Now I work from home for Dhs business and hate it. DH says do whatever you want, set up a business of your own and the main business can help support it, go to uni again, get a job, volunteer and then he says "do what you are passionate about!"

um nothing?I have NEVER since being a child has a passion or a drea mof the future!

AIBU to think that not everyone is cut out for "passions" some people just do things that are slightly less bad than the other options?

Or am i just really really boring?

I thought this was a thread about sex. I thought 'passions' was some weird American word for sex.

Anyways, I have shortlived passions. Get really into things for a year or so and then they go by the wayside a bit. I admire people who have dreams and consistently work at them to achieve them. I don't think there are that many though.

You don't sound too happy, OP, passionate or not.

It's just a well-used turn of phrase these days.

Lots of people are just 'quite interested in' or 'like being involved in' or 'thought they might be good at' something.

I don't feel like I'm missing out or lacking something because I'm not 'passionate' about anything.

I agree with SpaceStation, I would feel really awkward describing myself as passionate about anything on a job application or at an interview - it just feels a bit false and pretentious to me. I'm sure that's unfair and some people really are passionate about their jobs... but maybe not that many.

I do enjoy my job though. Just because you can't readily think of a passion or something you've always wanted to do, doesn't mean you can't find a job you like.

Loving the soil dwelling bacteria obsessive!

tumble - embarrassed to say but I applied for a course a few years ago and didn't get on. The feedback was I was an excellent candidate and had the qualifications and experience needed but I wasn't "passionate" enough at interview.

sigh

OP I was thinking exactly this only the other day and thought about starting a thread

There was a song on the radio and the lyrics said something about following your dreams or some such.

I thought "I don't have any dreams!" and then felt sad

When I was growing up I never had any idea of what I wanted to be, what I wanted to do with my life. Even sitting in front of the careers advisor at school I had no ideas. Out of frustration, the advisor asked what I was passionate about. I said I liked dogs.

Two years of agricultural college later, with a 'pass' in Animal Care, I was back where I started. What can you do with that qualification? Work in a pet shop?

Two years after working in a pet shop I quit to move in with someone up north. That fell through and I'm very pleased it did because he was a prat and I was blind to it, but I was out of a job. What did I want to do now? Earn money so I could pay the rent, of course.

Five years after working in a supermarket because it was the first job I could get, I get this idea that I want to do something with my life, make it count for something. I figured if I couldn't make my life good enough for myself, I'll make it good enough for someone else.

Four years after working in social care as a support worker I end up pregnant in Sweden. I figure I'd had enough of a soul drain and maybe bringing up a child is where I'll find my passion.

Three years later I still don't have a job or an idea about what I want to do. The only thing I've ever been good at is spelling. There are no businesses which demand human spell checkers and if there were, they'd want them to be Swedish spell checkers.

I feel the same as you op. I always wanted to work with kids so do note, I love it, but it's not my 'passion '. Though the closer I come to having children the more I think about home education and plan things to do with it though so I wonder if that will be my passion.

I've never really planned for the future, nor can I actually imagine being old. I couldn't imagine being an adult when I was a child. I never joined anything at uni because a) nothing really interested me and b) I thought joining things was naff. Many of the my peers were the same way, we assumed it was a Generation X thing!
I'm quite content and have done fairly well for myself in life, nonetheless.

Pixie - I would LOVE to home educate my children (we have 5) but dh is against it plus they all totally love school so its not really something i would do. I read loads of books about unschooling etc. Sadly when dd1 was born I hadnt ever really heard of it and I was quite young (20) so we started on the nursery/school cycle and it felt too late to change by the time I started to get interested in it.

Love this TED talk!

www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_changing_education_paradigms

I love that talk too!

But we now need to do something with it. (We need Ken to become minister for education)

Very interesting question OP. I actually feel a little envious of people who can bimble along quite happily. I am probably a "passionate" kind of person (some would say obsessive ) and it can be a bit of a curse at times. My life situation at the moment means that I can't work - one way to look at that is that I can seek out whatever I choose to fuel my passions (!) however what I actually find is that it can be hard to feel fulfilled without any kind of career to take up head space.

Having said that, I would guess that you feel passionate about your family? Your DH and dcs? Helping others, even if not specifically with breastfeeding? As my dcs have got older and need me in a different way, I have had lots of time to cultivate a few close friendships and be there for those special people when they need me. I feel very passionate about being a good friend and fostering close emotional bonds. It doesn't seem like much maybe, but it's so important to me. The downside is that I then end up feeling everything too strongly and have a hard time detaching emotionally. I wouldn't change who I am but a quiet, level-headed kind of life does appeal at time, I have to admit.

is that passion i hear creeping in?

I think this idea of being passionate about something is getting a bit tedious and over the top. Everyone says it about anything and everything now. It's especially prevalent in corporate wank-speak. Company A is passionate about pizza, or logistics. Bollocks. They're passionate about making money.

And because so many of us have grown up having to pretend on UCAS forms, and in job interviews that we're passionate about things, it's taken root as some superior quality. Half the time it just means 'well I like / care about x y or z thing a bit more than all the other things.'

We live in a world where 'self marketing' is an actual phrase. Here's to bimbling.

FWIW I care deeply about ecological and environmental issues, and the natural world is the main source of joy in my life. But a lot of acquaintances would even know that about me, because I don't go on about it all the time. They'd probably just think - oh yeah, woozle, she likes walking and is anti fracking.

Snap, dh loves what he does for a living so is bloody good at it, he can quite happily work 7 days a week (but luckily loves us lot too so generally doesn't! )

On the other hand, I've got a good degree, a shite job and no idea what I want to go with my life, I wish I had a skill.

petula - i think it might be - all i have to do now is convince dh to have a few more kids and not send them to school .

I'm a pessimist and I'm passionate about lots of things (including my right to pessimism, damnit!)

It's just about finding things you're interested in. It doesn't have to be an overwhelming lifelong serious passion, but anything that's exciting to you.

For example on a completely trivial note I am passionate about the superhero TV show Arrow at the moment :D. I'd quite happily engage in long conversations about it, watch comiccon panels, rewatch episodes, spend an hour reading a forum on it. This won't be a long-lasting passion but hey ho. In general I do love geeky television though.

On a less trivial note, I'm also passionate about creative writing/reading, which has always been with me.

Do you have any long-lasting interests that you just don't call a passion?

Not that it matters really, most passions seem pretty boring to other people :)

Missed a few posts while writing mine - sounds like you're passionate about kids!

I was worrying about this! I love my job but don't feel passionate about it - I certainly wouldn't do it for free! It is rare I even get particularly passionate about arguments on AIBU - I just don't tend to care enough. Interestingly though DH and most of my friends are similar - no feuds, no passionate affairs, very few not-talking-tos...

I can identify with not joining many clubs at University as well. A cup of tea and a good book is obviously first choice, closely followed by evening with friends. I am very dull.

I've always felt it is a bit of a lack in me as both my parents have passions and have urged us to follow them. Me, I'm happy bimbling.

i do think there's a terminology problem

one person's passion is another's enthusiasm is another's strong interest

and yes to some companies demanding that people demonstrate passion when what they actually need is someone who derives satisfaction from a job well done

I don't like the word "passion" one little bit but I cannot imagine life without strong beliefs and desires about how I want things to be - and therefore investing huge amounts of energy when things aren't the way I think they should be!

I'm in need of another project - one (very long) passion/enthusiasm/whatever you want to call no longer needs me! My work is done (much to my satisfaction)!

What about volunteering with a children s charity like Homestart or barnados you could befriend make a difference to somebody while doing something you like.

any scope for developing something that might support other parents in home educating their children?

I don't have passions either, just get enthusiastic about whatever hobby or subject I'm concentrating on at the time, get bored and move to something else. Consequently I'm a dabbler and a bit of a Jack of all trades. Even the jobs I've had don't seen to have any similarities and I'm currently studying for a complete change of career.

maybe read this book: www.thetimeparadox.com/

It sounds as though, because of your childhood, you are totally focused in the present and cannot look to the future. That is not a bad thing, but this book could help you change that if you wanted to. It's very interesting (am half way through).

TBH honest with a difficult childhood due to your ill mother, and now 5 children, just surviving probably takes up the all the spare energy that people have to be passionate about things.

I'm just the same... My partner also asks me what I'm passionate about and really, I'm only passionate about reading. I'm not sure that counts!

I blame my depression sometimes but really it's just that I'm a bimbler!