To go out for a whole day when we have guests for the weekend?

[ernesttheBavarian]

OK; they are school friends, mainly of my dh, but I knew them too. We were not in touch for years decades and recently, due to fb they have got back in touch (a couple of years) and have met up a few times.

Anyway, dh has invited them over and they are coming, Wednesday till Sunday. I am dreading it a bit, but I'm sure it'll be lovely. But it's really the 2 men boys reliving their teenage years and getting stupidly drunk that the weekend is all about.

Anyway, I found out yesterday that my church is running a retreat day, and it is on that Saturday, probably from about 9-5. Dh and his mate are going to a football match that afternoon, already got 2 tickets.

My dh is a rabid atheist and sees red at the mere mention of religion, so it's always a sensitive issue. Because of this, I really hide, avoid confrontation, let things go, don't go as much as I would like etc etc. I usually miss these retreat days. There's only 1 or 2 a year. Often they are during school holidays or whatever which means I can't go. I have 4 kids, I work, I miss my spiritual enrichment time. I'm sure that leaves plenty of people, including my dh cold.

But, AIBU to want to go, or even, to actually go?

If the match starts at 4, I reckon dh and friend would go at 3, and I would be back by 5. Obviously if the match starts at 3 they would be off at e.g. 2.

Dh is stunned and shocked and angry with me for even mentioning it.

AIBU?
(sorry so long)

Agree that as a guest there is nothing nicer than having a few hours 'on your own' rather than having to be in 'guest mode' .

Just let her know that you have something fixed in your diary for the afternoon but are looking forward to seeing her for the rest of the weekend.

As others have said, your DH has no problem in leaving her for the afternoon does he?

I don't think heading into Munich for a couple of hours with a toddler is really that difficult. I manage to navigate places without a list of nappy change tables!

What would the Elderly Korean Lady do?

oh man, who's the elderly korean lady? Could she be young. We have a lot of Japanese tourists here atm. Weird cos I don't picture elderly Japanese people getting pissed up somehow. But why come here now? It's miles more expensive atm. I should ask Jesus, shouldn't I? Presumably he'd have the right answer. (about the visitors, Japanese and Koreans. That's the bonus with being omnipotent I guess.)

I only found out about the retreat cos I've been away all summer so not been to my local church for weeks. After a whole summer with my 4 dc, plus a week of guest German child, plus now getting 4 kids out of the house by 7.20 am I bloody need a break.

Not to mention that bloody mental dog. But she's another thread.

Havent read the thread fully so it's probably all been said already, but TBH I would do it. Im not religious AT ALL, but I can imagine that something like this is quite meaningful to you, and is, IMHO, actually a better way to spend time than watching sport in terms of getting back in touch with that which really matters. DH is a prat for being so mean to you about it.

Of course go to the retreat.

If positions were reversed - your dh had just found out about the football, while you'd had the retreat booked in - would he turn the football down, or would he expect that the wife would be fine on her own?

Regardless, there's nothing rude about leaving a houseguest alone for a couple hours. There really isn't.

Yanbu. I don't expect friends lives to stop just cuz I'm visiting.
Your DH is being unreasonable expecting you to 'babysit' his friend's wife while they go to the footie them get pissed.
Please go to the retreat; otherwise you'll feel resentful, rightly so. you've been given lots of options for suggestions for things to occupy your guest. Plus I agree that most people want a bit of alone time; visitors and hosts, to relax from their social selves.

Korean woman [[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/a2154580-There-is-a-tiny-elderly-Korean-lady-in-my-garden-and-I-want-to-go-out]] thread.

Also, you don't want to google those words.

I'll try again
Elderly Korean woman thread

I would go to the retreat. You're not a slave to your home, guests or no guests. Assuming that you are not expecting this woman to take on any babysitting for you, then a few hours on her own with her toddler is no big deal. Could you perhaps suggest a few local places she could go to, maybe even buy her tickets for the time (eg zoo, amusement park, whatever) with her toddler? Really, even if she was your best friend, then missing out on your company for a few hours while you do something very important to you is not that big of a deal at all.

I couldn't care less if I were your guest. I can take care of myself and would actually welcome the chance to have some time doing something fun with my toddler.