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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to cancel a tinder date as he has tinned soup for lunch and didn't know berlin was in Germany?

389 replies

sarahighseas · 14/09/2014 20:55

As title really, its tomorrow and chatting to him now, but its going to be a disaster. I've been sucked in by a pretty face. Am I being too picky?

OP posts:
iklboo · 15/09/2014 09:10

He's 22. Maybe he can't afford loads of fresh ingredients, maybe he's not learned to cook well (yet). Maybe he just can't be arsed. It's his lunch. Not everyone puts a massive amount of thought into what they eat during a quick break at work.

Facilities to heat up / make stuff are usually crap in a workplace, colleagues are also vying to use the equipment and places to sit & eat are limited. Hardly gourmet dining experience time. It doesn't make him less of a person.

BringMeTea · 15/09/2014 09:14

Ha ha ha. OP, you are good at this.

Original poster
sarahighseas · 15/09/2014 09:14

I didn't say it does make him less of a person ffs. It does however make him less attractive to me.

OP posts:
DefinitleySpeltWrong · 15/09/2014 09:15

This thread is funny..

Tinned soup is fine, not knowing where Berlin is isn't great but not the end of the world, thinking that meeting up with a 22 year old who uses tinder is a good idea is HILARIOUS.

Is it for sex or a 'relationionship' Confused

MsAnthropic · 15/09/2014 09:16

What I am saying is I find people with a poor diet and poor knowledge a turn off.
Fair enough, that's your right but why would you ask a whole bunch of strangers to sanity-check that? You don't have to go on a date with anyone for whatever reason. What was your purpose in posting in AIBU if you know your own likes and dislikes?

LineRunner · 15/09/2014 09:18

So just fuck him off, then.

Original poster
sarahighseas · 15/09/2014 09:20

God knows why I posted on here. Probably just to check that I do have ridiculously high standards.

Everything is true what I've said though. He just sent a message "morning miss, howz u?"

I can get over the weird miss and the u, but seriously a z rather than a s? Thats no autocorrect that's on purpose.

OP posts:
BringMeTea · 15/09/2014 09:22

Was 'intelegence' an autocorrect? Grin

Callaird · 15/09/2014 09:22

I'm 47, never been to Scotland, been over the Severn bridge into Wales, dropped my Uncle off and came back again BUT have been to many foreign countries.

I have a B'Tec qualification BUT I have a fabulous, pretty well paid job which I love, a house and a flat that I own out right and I can spell and write complete sentences (mostly!)

I don't eat tinned soup BUT am craving a tin of Heinz tomato soup for my lunch now!

My partner was 8 years my junior BUT he wasn't 22!

BringMeTea · 15/09/2014 09:23

Sorry, my mistake 'itelegence'.

riskit4abiskit · 15/09/2014 09:26

Erm... from his point of view....

you're old (to him, I'm older than you)
You're snobby (only holidays in Spanish islands)
you're pedantic (berlin)
you cant spell (he might not know about your sen)
You are weird (cos everyone ever loves tinned soup ever)

he has a skilled job in engineering, is low maintenance, friendly, young, and good looking.

hmmm I know who I'd be shagging!

ControlGeek · 15/09/2014 09:27

I have a desperate craving for tinned tomato soup with crisps now OP, haven't had that in years!

MsAnthropic · 15/09/2014 09:32

Probably just to check that I do have ridiculously high standards.
Listen, you have come across really badly on here and insulted a lot of people on here which is why you've received such a pasting but the truth is we all have seemingly trivial things that would put us off people (that other people would think we were wrong for having) and that's ok. It really is, although sometimes it pays to keep an open mind too and not dismiss someone who doesn't seen to fit your ideal. I suspect this guy isn't one of those.

My advice is to:

  1. Hide this thread
  2. Change your nick
  3. Don't go on the date, but be nice about cancelling or go and see what he's like in real life
Original poster
sarahighseas · 15/09/2014 09:33

I agree risk apart from Berlin, that shows a real lack of basic knowledge

OP posts:
iklboo · 15/09/2014 09:36

Some people are pants at geography. My boss still thought Sydney was the capital of Australia & Rio was the capital of Brazil. He couldn't have found Berlin on a map of Berlin. But he is a great bloke who is very good at his job.

HerVagesty · 15/09/2014 09:39

I hope for his own sake the boy sees sense and stands you up tonight!!

CuChullain · 15/09/2014 09:41

I have to confess many moons ago when I was in the dating game I found it a turn off when I found a women I was on date with did not know how to ride a bike or swim. I just found that really really odd.

Pariba · 15/09/2014 09:45

Why is he on Internet dating at 22?

Original poster
sarahighseas · 15/09/2014 09:50

Sydney and Rio are very forgivable.

He had heard of Berlin, but wasn't sure what country it was in. Its not like I asked him to place it on a map.

OP posts:
kali110 · 15/09/2014 09:55

Let him go. He deserves better than you. That's all i can say as i will get deleted.

Beastofburden · 15/09/2014 09:56

Perhaps it was mean to point out the age difference. But bear in mind he is 11 years younger than you are. That's 50%. It is probably most of your adult life. It's asking a lot for him to be the same as you are.

Of course it's a rubbish diet. Tinned soup is full of salt and sugar. Crisps and chocolate are full of, er, salt and sugar. He ought to be fat and spotty and he isn't, because he is young and has a fab metabolism and there is no justice. But young ppl can get away with that kind of thing. Plus he is probably not that serious, he probably eats OK at other times.

I hope you're kind to him, OP. He's just a kid- hell, he's the same age as my eldest DC- and he doesn't need to be made to feel like nobody because of his career and education choices.

Given his morning miss, howz u? message I think there's quite a good chance he thinks of you as a kind of teacher figure and is looking forward to a bit of Mrs Robinson-style learning experience Grin.

Aeroflotgirl · 15/09/2014 09:56

He's not for you, so move on!

hankyspanky · 15/09/2014 10:04

This has considerably brightened my Monday morning!!

Not laughed this much in ages!! Grin

Original poster
sarahighseas · 15/09/2014 10:10

Thanks, of course I won't be so rude to him in person. I'm just spitting out what I really feel on a anon forum.

I'm totally fine with something casual if we aren't on the same wavelength.

OP posts:
iklboo · 15/09/2014 10:11

DH is 8 years younger than me. He had a crap diet (pot noodle butties, kebabs), the habits of a (normal) 22 year old and wasn't widely travelled or had great general knowledge apart from in the areas that interested him at the time (he was no Joey Essex but there were...gaps). He's dyslexic so his spelling, punctuation & grammar aren't 'correct' - I'm a regular in Pedants' Corner.

He was - and is - kind, generous, considerate, gentle, funny, handsome, loving & sincere. He's a great dad. We've been married 10 years this year.

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