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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is bu about splitting the cost of a holiday?

257 replies

LilacCroc · 13/09/2014 20:55

Not a typical AIBU, because I don't want to give away which 'side' i'm on, so that I get un-biased replies.

So the situation...a family of 4 (2 adults, 2 dc) are about to book a holiday. The cost is £500pp and because of free child places, 1 of their dc can go free, so total cost for them would be £1500.

Another couple, very close to the family (the dc's Godparents) will not have their own dc for that week as they are staying with their bio dad. So they put the feelers out about joining them on holiday, the family are more than happy and make them welcome. Fab.

So...now there are 6 people going, 4 adults and 2 dc, that means that overall they get 2 free childs places, so now both of the dc of the family can go free.

So the total cost of the holiday now, for all 6, is £2000.

The family think that each adult should now pay for themselves, £500 pp. The dc don't 'count' as they're both free.

The couple think this is unfair and that as the total cost for 6 people is £2000, the free childs places should be discounted and the total cost should be split 6 ways, with the couple paying £666 for 2 people and the family £1333 for 4 people (ish).

Who is right and who is bu?

OP posts:
juneybean · 13/09/2014 20:57

Should be £500 per adult so £1000 each couple. The children are free!

wannabestressfree · 13/09/2014 20:58

If it was my family I would say the adults should pay the set rate and I would offer to pay parking if I was the one taking children.

LadyLuck10 · 13/09/2014 21:00

The second child becomes free only because of the second couple. Each should pay 500. The cost should not have been split between 6 because the children were going to be free.

Clearlymisunderstood · 13/09/2014 21:00

The adults should pay £500 pp

Viviennemary · 13/09/2014 21:01

I'd say the children should go free as after all they are free. But if people are going to quibble about this sort of thing I think it's better if they go on holiday by themselves and not involve other people.

Jelliebabe2 · 13/09/2014 21:01

I think split it 6 ways, the family are still facing money on the holiday!

Jelliebabe2 · 13/09/2014 21:02

Or saving even!

HerRoyalNotness · 13/09/2014 21:02

It should be split between 5 as there is one child place free even if the couple don't go. The family of 4 shouldn't pay for 4 but neither should they take the extra free place as they wouldn't have got that if the couple didn't go too

owlborn · 13/09/2014 21:02

I am not sure either way is unreasonable, just different. I know it probably shouldn't be relevant but are one couple noticeably better off than the others? I'd be tempted to give them a bit of a financial break if so.

Andcake · 13/09/2014 21:03

500 each and a gesture from the parents - posh meal whilst away etc as a thank you!

fredfredgeorgejnr · 13/09/2014 21:04

More info required, how impacted are the family by the additional adults, if they're not at all (e.g. there was now an entirely distinct flat where the 2 adults were which didn't impinge on the original family) then the discount should be shared between the families.

However if the 2 extra adults are going to be with them in a larger apartment - or in the same size one! Then the additional couple spending more is reasonable.

However there's no right or wrong answer, everything is reasonable.

MrsPiggie · 13/09/2014 21:04

The way I see it, if the parties can't even agree on splitting the cost they've got no business going on holiday together, they'll only be miserable.

justmuddlingalong · 13/09/2014 21:04

£500 pp. I predict fireworks if the 2nd couple go.

Explored · 13/09/2014 21:05

I think the extra free place was a benefit that the couple brought with them and that the family wouldn't have benefited from without them. OTOH there would be no benefit without the children, so IMO the discount should be shared.

Therefore, I disagree with both of you! The couple pay for two adults, less half a child's place and the family pay what they expected to pay, 2 adults and a child, less half a child. Couple pay £750, family pay £1250 and both benefit from an unexpected discount that only came about because they are going as a larger group.

DustyCropHopper · 13/09/2014 21:05

I think if I was on either side, I would split the cost between the adults because that is all that is being charged for. The fact that the children are going free is not costing the godparents anything, if they went alone they would still pay £1000. Ok, the parents are gaining and maybe treat the other side to a meal out or something but other that, split the cost!

Explored · 13/09/2014 21:06

But, yes if you can't get this sorted easily, imagine trying to do it every time a restaurant bill needs splitting.

AtYourCervix · 13/09/2014 21:06

If this is an issue now just please don't go on holiday with them. Slippery slope. They will make ypur holiday HELL with picking over money and bills.

Original poster
LilacCroc · 13/09/2014 21:07

In terms of general finances, they're both pretty equal, and have similar family set ups.

The mums are work colleagues so have the same salary, both families have 2 dc and live in the same area...fairly evenly matched money wise.

OP posts:
Vitalstatistix · 13/09/2014 21:07

I would say that if there is no actual cost for the children then it is fine that they are going free and the adults pay.
I would say that if the couple arent happy with that, they can choose not to go. The family will then pay for their second child.

or they could split the differece of the second child saving.

Rivercam · 13/09/2014 21:07

Are the children young ( below 12) or older? If young, then £500 each. If older, then children play subsidized rate ( half adult cost each?).

If the first option, then I agree that parents should make a gesture - takeaway for everyone on first night?

StrawberryMojito · 13/09/2014 21:07

What Explored said.

MQv2 · 13/09/2014 21:08

I'm with the childless couple
One family is bringing 4 people and the other 2 but they pay equally?

If two couples went for dinner and one had a 50% off voucher so decided that was their share and the other should then pay the whole of the 50% owed then I'd be inclined to say actually we're not together.

If either way the couple are paying 1k but the family are getting the benefit of their presence then surely there should be a different split

Rivercam · 13/09/2014 21:08

Also, agree that they may quibble over everything. You need to set the groundwork for payment now, before you travel. Ie. meals split in same ratio or everyone pays their way etc

AtYourCervix · 13/09/2014 21:09

Also. Why would anyone want to go on holiday with other peoples children???? Confused

sunbathe · 13/09/2014 21:09

If the godparents went by themselves, it would cost them a grand. Why begrudge a free child place to their good friends?

I think they're being selfish.