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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is bu about splitting the cost of a holiday?

257 replies

LilacCroc · 13/09/2014 20:55

Not a typical AIBU, because I don't want to give away which 'side' i'm on, so that I get un-biased replies.

So the situation...a family of 4 (2 adults, 2 dc) are about to book a holiday. The cost is £500pp and because of free child places, 1 of their dc can go free, so total cost for them would be £1500.

Another couple, very close to the family (the dc's Godparents) will not have their own dc for that week as they are staying with their bio dad. So they put the feelers out about joining them on holiday, the family are more than happy and make them welcome. Fab.

So...now there are 6 people going, 4 adults and 2 dc, that means that overall they get 2 free childs places, so now both of the dc of the family can go free.

So the total cost of the holiday now, for all 6, is £2000.

The family think that each adult should now pay for themselves, £500 pp. The dc don't 'count' as they're both free.

The couple think this is unfair and that as the total cost for 6 people is £2000, the free childs places should be discounted and the total cost should be split 6 ways, with the couple paying £666 for 2 people and the family £1333 for 4 people (ish).

Who is right and who is bu?

OP posts:
Thomyorke · 13/09/2014 22:08

Why can't you book separately to the same place, what about holiday intimacy?

DamnBamboo · 13/09/2014 22:08

OP, they facilitate a discount by booking alongside and only by way of the fact that you have a child!

The discount should be split 50%/50%.

Why do they think that of a free child place that is theoretically allocated to a free child (rather than being divied up by adults) they should get more than half of it.

StrawberryMojito · 13/09/2014 22:09

Do you actually want to go away with them? I sympathise, difficult situation to be in with close friends.

HopefulHamster · 13/09/2014 22:11

I just wouldn't go with them. What will they do if you eat out together and the kids get free meals? Remember you are losing a family holiday and turning it into a family and friends holiday. Not the same thing at all. They're intruding and not even being nice about it!

ENormaSnob · 13/09/2014 22:13

Acottage hol should be split per room imo.

furcoatbigknickers · 13/09/2014 22:13

Second couple should pay £500

Hulababy · 13/09/2014 22:14

It may have been that the children would have had a room each if going alone - as only double beds. If the second couple go, the children will need to share a bed, which may not be ideal for the OP.

Also the £500 includes flights.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 13/09/2014 22:16

You could always just decline one free child space so neither of you benefit from each other.

So you pay 1500 and they pay 1000 because obviously it would mean the cost of the holiday increases.

Hulababy · 13/09/2014 22:17

Why on earth should the second couple only pay the price of one adult?

Janethegirl · 13/09/2014 22:18

If couple only paid £500 it is equal to one free adult, no way is that fair. I'd just prefer to go as a family and fuck the couple unless they were prepared to babysit every night Grin

PortofinoRevisited · 13/09/2014 22:18

I would do it by bedroom. You have 2 for your family, they have one. So they pay a third.

Janethegirl · 13/09/2014 22:19

needsasock way to go Grin

slithytove · 13/09/2014 22:20

Honestly, I would really think about whether you want to share a holiday with them.

The loveliest people who we are closest to do not necessarily make good holiday companions. And I can only see trouble ahead with splitting finances and jobs etc.

Would it truly upset relations to tell them you just want to do a family holiday? Or do you really want to go with them?

Viviennemary · 13/09/2014 22:20

Just book separately then nobody will get the £500 discount so it won't be an issue. Honestly, I couldn't bear to go away with people if it meant all this before the holiday even started.

TheNumberfaker · 13/09/2014 22:20

You do not want to go on holiday with these tightwads... the way I see these kind of holidays is that the cost is shared by the adults. Children don't earn money so shouldn't be expected to pay!

sanfairyanne · 13/09/2014 22:21

just say they are welcome but need to get their own accommodation
they only want a cheap holiday

honestly op - big warning sign this!

choirmumoftwo · 13/09/2014 22:22

I really wouldn't go with them. They (or at least he) will quibble over every penny when you're away. Family holiday time is too precious to risk spoiling.

grocklebox · 13/09/2014 22:23

I can't see why one side should benefit from a 500 quid reduction while the other side sees no benefit? How is that possibly fair?

You should split the reduction in cost half each. IT's the only fair way!

Bearleigh · 13/09/2014 22:25

How are you going to split the food shopping? As someone said, what about drink too? Might be an idea to discuss now. They might think they should pay 1/3 of total supermarket bill...

QuintessentiallyQS · 13/09/2014 22:27

Holy crap, I just read that friends husband actually thought that your child should subsidize them because the price went from 1500 to 2000 by them joining!

Dont go away with these people, he sounds horrid! There will be nothing but arguments and a ruined holiday!

velveteenbunny · 13/09/2014 22:29

Both parties are grabby as anything. I wouldn't go on holiday with any of you.

Original poster
LilacCroc · 13/09/2014 22:29

I don't particularly want to go with them, but nor do I not want to iyswim?

I know they'd be off doing their own thing in the days anyway, so plenty of family time for us...in the evenings it would be nice to have them there as company and i'm sure we'd all like it...but equally, dh and I always enjoy the evenings alone anyway!

I really don't think this is a sign of things to come, or that there'd be any problems on the holiday itself. They are genuinely nice people, generally very laid back as are me and dh...we've been out to restaurants together many times, with and without dc and everyone just pays for themselves, no issues that I forsee.

OP posts:
antimatter · 13/09/2014 22:30

For the sake of my sanity I (family) would say:
"Sorry but I don't want to fall with you, I prefer if we just go as a family paying 1500 (here come up with all advantages of having extra bedroom or whatever else is applicable)".
If you can bring yourself to spend time with them say - "Come along with us as you planned and let's forget about that free child place as we can't agree to how this should be handled and I don't want us to fall out".

Viviennemary · 13/09/2014 22:32

Or you could donate the £500 to a worthy charity.

Original poster
LilacCroc · 13/09/2014 22:33

There are actually no food costs, it's not a self-catering cottage (although there is a teeny kitchen).

It's a weird set up really...a few individual holiday cottages (about 15 I think) with their own terrace and small garden, shared pool, and then a central restaurant for breakfast and dinner, which are included in the price.

OP posts: