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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is bu about splitting the cost of a holiday?

257 replies

LilacCroc · 13/09/2014 20:55

Not a typical AIBU, because I don't want to give away which 'side' i'm on, so that I get un-biased replies.

So the situation...a family of 4 (2 adults, 2 dc) are about to book a holiday. The cost is £500pp and because of free child places, 1 of their dc can go free, so total cost for them would be £1500.

Another couple, very close to the family (the dc's Godparents) will not have their own dc for that week as they are staying with their bio dad. So they put the feelers out about joining them on holiday, the family are more than happy and make them welcome. Fab.

So...now there are 6 people going, 4 adults and 2 dc, that means that overall they get 2 free childs places, so now both of the dc of the family can go free.

So the total cost of the holiday now, for all 6, is £2000.

The family think that each adult should now pay for themselves, £500 pp. The dc don't 'count' as they're both free.

The couple think this is unfair and that as the total cost for 6 people is £2000, the free childs places should be discounted and the total cost should be split 6 ways, with the couple paying £666 for 2 people and the family £1333 for 4 people (ish).

Who is right and who is bu?

OP posts:
PunkrockerGirl · 13/09/2014 21:53

Why would anyone want to go on holiday with other people's children

This

DamnBamboo · 13/09/2014 21:54

Just read your last post. I would not go with these people.

Ticklemonster897 · 13/09/2014 21:54

I think the price of the second free space needs to be split in two, so the family pay 1250 and the couple pay 750

chesterberry · 13/09/2014 21:54

I don't think the cost of the holiday should be split 6 ways - children never cost the same as an adult so to split it six ways as if the children are adults seems bizarre.

However, seeing as having an extra couple gets a free child place I think the £500 saving should be split two ways so each family saves £250. The cost to the first family without the other couple is £1500. The cost for the couple is £1000. But because of the free child place the total holiday is £2000 so I think the fair way is that the first couple with the children pay £1250 and the second couple pay £750.

StrawberryMojito · 13/09/2014 21:54

Other DH is being greedy. A £750/£1250 split would have been perfect. Maybe best just to go on your own.

MisForMumNotMaid · 13/09/2014 21:54

But if you go as just your family you don't wait to use the bathroom, or kettle, or have to clear up,after so many etc. Plus the DC get their own rooms.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 13/09/2014 21:55

How come its £500 per person but only an extra £500 for both of them?

IrenetheQuaint · 13/09/2014 21:56

I agree you should pay more than them, but £750/£1250 is very reasonable. If they refused that I wouldn't go with them.

Original poster
LilacCroc · 13/09/2014 21:56

Have to say, I was mystified myself when they first tentatively suggested it. They had 10 days with no dc and if that was us, I wouldn't want to spend it with other peoples kids (even family kids that I love).

But, it was a place they've been thinking of going anyway, they know that our dc are in bed by 7 (even on holiday, most nights, they can't usually stay awake much longer) and so they could still do their own thing in the day and there would be plenty of adult company in the evenings...large terrace where we can sit outside etc.

Personally still not my cup of tea in their position, but still.

OP posts:
Stealthpolarbear · 13/09/2014 21:57

You know I am see the logic of splitting the £500 but I'd have thought the same as you.
Lets hope your Dcs aren't given free ice creams at a restaurant - they'll want their share of the bill adjusting :o

Original poster
LilacCroc · 13/09/2014 21:58

Because by an extra two adults coming (+£1000) there is also a second free child place (-£500) Needs

OP posts:
bloodyteenagers · 13/09/2014 21:58

I would tell the couple to sort out their own holiday. Couldn't be doing with people knowing there would be constant squabbles. And you know what will happen. They will full up the trolley with booze and moan about a couple of extras for the kids, not wanting to pay for it, but wanting you to fund their booze. Sod that. Or meal out, order loads, your dc's will eat/drink very little and they will insist it's split, even though the two spent more than you four.

GnomeDePlume · 13/09/2014 21:58

I can see the other DH's logic but that doesnt mean I would want to go on holiday with him!

OfficerVanHalen · 13/09/2014 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DamnBamboo · 13/09/2014 21:59

There is no logic to the other DHs suggestion at all.

The cost of an adult for this is £500 pp.

Why does he think that they should only pay that amount for two people.

mandy214 · 13/09/2014 22:01

I think you were being presumptious thinking that everyone would just split it when you saved £500 as a result of them coming with you.

At the end of the day, you have to work with this woman and it has the potential to spoil the holiday for the sake of £250 (fairest split is £1250/£750).

But Hmm why anyone with the opportunity to have a child free holiday would want to come with you in the first place (however nice you areSmile)

sunbathe · 13/09/2014 22:01

What will you do, Lilac?

sanfairyanne · 13/09/2014 22:03

they will ruin your family holiday

what price can you put on that?

Thomyorke · 13/09/2014 22:04

I only go holiday with others if I have separate accommodation, even if you split the difference you only save £250. I would rather spend the extra and have my own space.

MisForMumNotMaid · 13/09/2014 22:04

What was the order of events here?

Did they want to come because they realised it was only going to cost £500 more for them to come and so rubbed their hands together thinking cheap holiday?

Purplepoodle · 13/09/2014 22:04

If it's already like this arguing over the split I wouldn't be going with them

GnomeDePlume · 13/09/2014 22:05

I am guessing from this that the other DH is as tight as a very tight thing. He is essentially mean. Do not go on holiday with him unless you want to spend a week measuring precisely how much breakfast cereal or milk your family has used.

Waltermittythesequel · 13/09/2014 22:05

This is going to ruin your holiday.

Don't go with them.

Original poster
LilacCroc · 13/09/2014 22:05

I have no idea sunbathe!

Despite the 'heated' conversation, things haven't really been left badly...so far.

They really, really do not think it's fair to pay any more than £666 (1/3 of the total cost). Thinking on it, maybe we were being a bit short sighted to think it would be an even split, and i'd be happy with £1250/£750 and both sharing the £500 discount, but I don't think they will.

It's less than £100 difference and part of me says it's not worth it, just go ahead with the £666/£1333, but in principle I really don't feel it's fair.

However, nor do I want to say 'well tough, find your own holiday'...we are all very close, this is the first disagreement we've had and I don't want things to be awkward in future.

So...buggered basically.

OP posts:
bloodyteenagers · 13/09/2014 22:07

Even when they realise they are not going anywhere for their £500 or the £1000, or the fair £750, and come begging, I still wouldn't book with them. In fact I would do like the travel industry does and increase the cost because of supply and demand lol.

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