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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who is bu about splitting the cost of a holiday?

257 replies

LilacCroc · 13/09/2014 20:55

Not a typical AIBU, because I don't want to give away which 'side' i'm on, so that I get un-biased replies.

So the situation...a family of 4 (2 adults, 2 dc) are about to book a holiday. The cost is £500pp and because of free child places, 1 of their dc can go free, so total cost for them would be £1500.

Another couple, very close to the family (the dc's Godparents) will not have their own dc for that week as they are staying with their bio dad. So they put the feelers out about joining them on holiday, the family are more than happy and make them welcome. Fab.

So...now there are 6 people going, 4 adults and 2 dc, that means that overall they get 2 free childs places, so now both of the dc of the family can go free.

So the total cost of the holiday now, for all 6, is £2000.

The family think that each adult should now pay for themselves, £500 pp. The dc don't 'count' as they're both free.

The couple think this is unfair and that as the total cost for 6 people is £2000, the free childs places should be discounted and the total cost should be split 6 ways, with the couple paying £666 for 2 people and the family £1333 for 4 people (ish).

Who is right and who is bu?

OP posts:

morerogermore · 14/09/2014 15:40

In other words YANBU.

wanttosinglikemarycoughlan · 14/09/2014 15:42

But the family who were originally going have lost their private space and have to share
I would either go alone or let them book their own accommodation

ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy · 14/09/2014 15:50

Hopefully enough people have given their views for OP to see that it's not clear cut and that many would share the discount in some way, though a few agree with OP.

Hope it works out well, OP.

morerogermore · 14/09/2014 15:51

These people are nutcases OP. They should be super-dignified about gatecrashing your holiday anyway. It sounds like they have their own problems, and money issues/hang-ups.

Don't go with them.

AliceLidl · 14/09/2014 20:51

So you are the family.

They are your children's godparents who have found themselves with a child free week.

And so they invited themselves along on your holiday because it was somewhere they'd like to go anyway and can do their own thing in the daytime and relax with you in the evening.

You didn't invite them and aren't that bothered either way about them coming, so you agreed they could come along.

And because they are coming along, you now qualify for two free children's places instead of just the one free child's place you were originally getting.

You assumed that the second free child place would go to your second child, because it is a free child's place and they aren't taking their children with them.

They objected to you getting all the benefit of the free place, so your DH suggested splitting the £500 difference so both your family and the couple benefit from a £250 saving each.

They refused and instead they want you to give the entire free child place to them, so that an adult can benefit from it?

So you still pay £1500 and they pay only £500.

I think the whole arrangement is a bad idea. I think you might need to tell them you've decided to stick to the original plan of just your family going because none of you are going to be happy with any of the compromises and the resentment will come out on the holiday, especially if you are all having a drink in the evenings. Every time they see you spend any money, or vice versa, it will rankle until someone says something and it will ruin the entire trip.

wellthatsdoneit · 14/09/2014 20:59

I think these people should not be going on holiday with each other.

eddielizzard · 14/09/2014 21:02

they would be paying £1000 - £500 pp.

because of child discount they can either pay £500 (bloody cheeky), £666 (less cheeky), £750 very reasonable.

i really think it's off of them to insist on £666. after all it IS YOUR HOLIDAY.

i'm rather arsey so i'd be tempted to say 'you know what? let's just leave it since we can't work this out. no hard feelings eh?'

morerogermore · 14/09/2014 21:05

I think the fact that they are suggesting 666 should tell you something OP!

Janethegirl · 14/09/2014 21:07

PersonOfInterest · 14/09/2014 21:09

Having just read the bit about his suggestion that they should really only pay £500 (WTF?) I'm joining the 'don't go with them' brigade.

If you can't reach a mutual agreement within 5 mins then you just shouldn't go together.

Split the £500.

He's a dick.

PersonOfInterest · 14/09/2014 21:11

Having just read the bit about his suggestion that they should really only pay £500 (WTF?) I'm joining the 'don't go with them' brigade.

If you can't reach a mutual agreement within 5 mins then you just shouldn't go together.

Split the £500.

He's a dick.

Obviously you could just pay a bit more. But I don't think you should start your holiday on a slightly sour note because of their grabbiness.

PersonOfInterest · 14/09/2014 21:12

ooops sorry for dodgy posting

Original poster

LilacCroc · 14/09/2014 21:15

Well, an update...it's actually sorted.

The dh of the couple called my dh tonight and said he'd been thinking, why don't we split the £500 off and pay £750/£1250.

Dh was tempted to remind him that that had been his idea, but decided to hold back

We've agreed, so all is well. I think tbh they must have gone home and talked about it and realised that them paying £666 was a bit unfair...

Anyway, the holiday's not until the Easter hols next year so we'll see how that goes!

Thank you for all your opinions.

OP posts:

Trills · 14/09/2014 21:16

I am confused as to why a couple who do not have children that week would choose to go on a holiday where there will be children.

PersonOfInterest · 14/09/2014 21:22

Great! I love a happy conclusion. Hope the holiday goes smoothly!

ImperialBlether · 14/09/2014 21:37

I'm flabbergasted that they feel they can crash your holiday and then argue about how much they should pay! If they're arguing now, how happy is that holiday going to be?

YakInAMac · 14/09/2014 21:38

Glad everyone is happy.

Now....where is this place?

It sounds an ideal set up.

Is t in this country?

Aherdofmims · 14/09/2014 21:45

Split the saving from the second child between the two families. So neither of them is right.

EverythingCounts · 14/09/2014 21:52

Really pleased you have got to the sensible compromise! Hope it all goes well.

onedev · 14/09/2014 22:39

Glad it's all worked out!

ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy · 14/09/2014 22:43

Yy trills. I guess some people like kids that much!

DefinitleySpeltWrong · 14/09/2014 22:43

That's a great conclusion. Doesn't this show how much better it is to air these things upfront. Now the air has been cleared there is no reason you can't gave a great holiday. I actually think it's a sign of a good friendship that you can deal with this type of thing.

Hope you all have a fab time.

DefinitleySpeltWrong · 14/09/2014 22:46

I wonder who is going you get the master bedroom