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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So DS brought home a massive TURD in his book bag!

139 replies

PixieHollowDweller · 11/09/2014 16:34

He started Reception on Tuesday. He's 4.1 years. Can't remember his last poo accident like this since he was potty trained at just 3.

He was given clean pants but obviously no help to clean up as those were massively stained as well and he stank, bless him.

His pants were in a plastic bag with a full sized poo in them that had been there since lunchtime.

AIBU to think this was unhygienic and they could have at least tipped it into the loo or got him to. If they'D contacted me I could have been there in 5 minutes. Bit pissed off tbh.

OP posts:
fromparistoberlin73 · 11/09/2014 16:35

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

there is a clear message there OP, yikes

Sandiacre · 11/09/2014 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigkidsdidit · 11/09/2014 16:36

Oh my Shock

They really should have helped him clean himself, poor little thing

AuditAngel · 11/09/2014 16:37

Our nursery throw away poo stained underwear. I was massively unhappy when they chucked out brand new Next knickers. I asked for them to be double bagged and left for me to deal with. I was told that the Environmental Health dept. had said they were not allowed to do that.

GayByrne · 11/09/2014 16:37

This is wrong and totally disrespectful to you and your child. He could have a sore bum hole now, not to mention how humiliating it is to be left like that for him.

If I were you, I'd be speaking with the manager tomorrow - an allotted time slot so you're not interrupted. This is unacceptable behaviour, ffs. If any of my staff did something like that, I'd go apeshite. No pun intended.

BreadForBrains · 11/09/2014 16:38

Yanbu, I've worked in reception and when children soiled themselves would rinse out their underwear and hang it over a radiator in the medical room (possibly not the most hygienic but this was ten years ago now) for a wee. If it was a poo, then anything that could be flushed was flushed. Then pants bagged up but free from clumps.

walkonthewildside · 11/09/2014 16:38

You don't really expect Biff and Shit do you?

ExitPursuedByAKoalaBear · 11/09/2014 16:38

Good grief. It's not the same school that sent home the vomit filled lunchbox is it?

fairgame · 11/09/2014 16:38

Aww that is awful. I know they don't like to touch kids to clean them up but surely they could have given him some guidance i.e keep wiping!

I do think the turd should have gone in the loo as well. Maybe they didn't have any gloves.

Glastogirl · 11/09/2014 16:39

That's dreadful!

I am a Reception Teacher and would never send a child home with a full sized poo in their bookbag!

I would have rung you to come in, although unfortunately we are not allowed to help clean the children up (only offer verbal instructions).

bearleftmonkeyright · 11/09/2014 16:39

I am guessing he was cleaned and changed himself? To be honest I think yabu. If I do changes at school, (TA and MDS) everything just goes in a carrier bag. Whether it is sick, poo or wee. Sorry, that's the best that can happen at school imho, and I say this as a parent of a child who was constantly having poo accidents in reception.

Topseyt · 11/09/2014 16:39

Eeeeeeuwwww. That sounds gross!

In an ideal world he would have been given help to clean himself properly, but in reality school staff can hardly touch children at all these days, so many would probably be wary of helping him, I'm afraid.

bearleftmonkeyright · 11/09/2014 16:40

Oh I have just read they didn't wipe him down, sorry I would have done that, changed my mind YANBU.

BreadForBrains · 11/09/2014 16:40

Oh, and of course cleaned up the child. And given them a little cuddle too.
I'd be very cross in your situation, poor little thing was probably bloody uncomfortable for the rest of the day Hmm Can you get into school for a chat with someone about it? It's really not on for him to have not been helped properly to clean up.

PuppyMonkey · 11/09/2014 16:40

I'm so sorry, it must have been awful but you definitely win MN today for this thread. Grin

Un
Believe
Able

WitchWay · 11/09/2014 16:42

Poor little chap, how awful - why on earth didn't they flush it away?

What was the vomit filled lunchbox about? I must have missed that nosy though

longtallsally2 · 11/09/2014 16:44

GayByrne - if I have read the OP right, this is a school not a nursery. Totally different standards - though I can never understand why nurseries get personal care so right in the main, but early years teachers/TAs are so constrained.

Sad for you.

At least you will always check his bookbag each night now - just in case!!

Amy106 · 11/09/2014 16:46

YANBU. I would be talking to the school, if I were you.

littlejohnnydory · 11/09/2014 16:47

unfortunately we are not allowed to help clean the children up (only offer verbal instructions)

I don't think that is strictly true. The incontinence charity ERIC provide guidelines to schools that contradict that - and we were advised that schools often use the child protection issue as an excuse not to provide physical care to incontinent children but legally there is no basis for that, and failure to help them clean up properly could be considered abusive. Staff in special schools provide intimate care on a daily basis and the child protection considerations are no different.

The school should have an intimate care policy - ask to see it - when we asked, the school was suddenly and miraculously able to help DS if he had an accident and we couldn't get there.

I can't remember the exact information we were given but the ERIC website is very helpful, as is their helpline.

3pigsinblanketsandasausagerole · 11/09/2014 16:48

Yuck

Our school phone parents if this happens to collect dc so they can be properly cleaned

MsAnthropic · 11/09/2014 16:51

OMG, your poor little boy.

I know I'd be furious in your position. That is just not good enough.

For a 4 year old in their first week of school. Christ Sad

YANBU

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 11/09/2014 16:55

Sorry but that is like the school version of a horses head in your bed!

Your poor DS I hope he's ok and not sore. Again I'd ask the Head teacher what's the err protocol in regards to poo!

RalphGnu · 11/09/2014 16:58

Oh, I have a 4 yr old DS in his first week at school too. Your poor little one Sad

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 11/09/2014 17:00

Poor little boy. I hope he isn't too upset. They should have flushed the poo and bagged up the pants. I also think they should have given him sensible help getting cleaned up. I don't really think they should have phoned you, what if you'd been at work? It's not an emergency situation.

MrsBungle · 11/09/2014 17:02

If ask for the policy on this. My dd had an accident in school and they put the poo in toilet (I assume!) and rinsed out her pants and gave her clean ones.