So DS brought home a massive TURD in his book bag!

[PixieHollowDweller]

He started Reception on Tuesday. He's 4.1 years. Can't remember his last poo accident like this since he was potty trained at just 3.

He was given clean pants but obviously no help to clean up as those were massively stained as well and he stank, bless him.

His pants were in a plastic bag with a full sized poo in them that had been there since lunchtime.

AIBU to think this was unhygienic and they could have at least tipped it into the loo or got him to. If they'D contacted me I could have been there in 5 minutes. Bit pissed off tbh.

Poor wee thing. DD1 was withholding and having accidents at that age, and they were very kind at nursery (in the local, small primary school) and always cleaned her up and bagged her dirty, but poo-less knickers. They were very patient with her. I know it's no fun to clean poo off a child, especially one not your own, but it's hard work to do it on your own when you're that size!

Can you put a packet of wipes in his book bag (and spare underwear) for next time? We have sent 3yo DD2 in to nursery (the same as DD1's nursery) with wipes & knickers, just in case.

That's ridiculous. They should have helped him. At our school we have to sign forms when they start nursery giving permission for the staff to help clean them up and change them in situations like this.

One of the nursery teachers has told me they're not allowed to cuddle the children or have them sat on their knee, so if a child goes to sit on their knee the teacher is supposed to tell them not to. They do ignore this though with the full support of the parents. As a result the kids love going to nursery.

Our EYFS teachers and TAs do help with children who have had accidents. There is a disabled toilet near the EYFS classrooms which has a full size changing table (incase of the odd child in nappies mainly) but there is only a small sink. The poo would go down the loo and the pants bagged up. The child would be helped to clean themselves up - we have wet wipes and dry wipes. There are plastic gloves and sanitisers for staff, as well as warm water and soap.

Unfortunately we do not have a larger sink area or a shower. The school has no space for this and no room for expansion - we would love love one.

Only the EYFS staff do this though. In Key Stage 1 I have never been expected to do it. The odd time we have had a child in KS1 in nappies or having regularly accidents it has been to a disability of some form of SN and they have had a 1:1 who would care for them.

My daughters nursery sent home a full size poo, smooshed all over the inside of the jogging bottoms that the knickers where still inside of.

They were not my daughters clothes.

They sent home someone elses full size turd.

I would have been tempted to wrap it in nice paper, with ribbons, and return it anonymously.

Isn't nursery different to school though.
I don't think we ever had the full poo sent home, but there was quite a bit when my ds had an accident and this is going back about 18 years.
Teachers can't be expected to handle poo, fair enough in pre school or nursery.
I suppose the answer is to make sure they know how to wipe their bum properly. I know they are only little in reception but some schools don't have the human resources to take time out to clean up children.

"unfortunately we are not allowed to help clean the children up (only offer verbal instructions)
"Not allowed" by whom exactly? The school and teachers have both a common-law duty of care as well as statutory duty of care. They may "do what is reasonable in all the circumstances of the case for the purpose of safeguarding or promoting the child’s welfare." (Children's Act 1989, Section 3(5)) It does not say anywhere "except if it means helping them with going to the toilet or cleaning them or touching their bottom" Funnily enough."

Teachers cannot be compelled to change children after toileting accidents- it's stated in most contracts and the 'burgundy book'-but support staff can. If the teacher notices that the child has had an accident, they must inform a member of support staff who must change them. However, if a teacher notices that the child has had an accident and does nothing, then they are deemed to be negligent having failed in their duty of care.

Of course, you are right in that there is no legislation preventing a teacher from changing a child if they want to.

Any school whose policy prevents their staff from cleaning up a child who has soiled themselves is leaving themselves wide open to a legal challenge.

This school is ringing alarm bells for me. They wouldn't let you view the school as a prospective parent (??!!), and they won't allow parents onto school grounds??!

Wtf are they hiding?

Poor little mite.

Unbelievable.

I agree Katherina what are they hiding?
The school I work in has an open door policy for parents and we are proud to welcome them into our school but it is special education. I'm not sure how common that is in mainstream but I would be very worried about a school at the other end of the scale.

I hope you are on waiting lists for other schools?

It sounds horrendous. I wouldn't send my DC to a school that didn't allow me to look around on a normal day, and certainly not an Infant school which didn't allow me on the premises.

On the basis the school is not safeguarding I would be deregistering my child in the morning

When I was a TA in a nursery I was in charge of toiletting, and nappy changes. I would never have sent home a poo.
I always cleaned up the children with wipes, soaked their underwear in napisan then put them in the washing machine if there was time unless the parents requested we bin them.
What I did was not dissimilar to what I would do with my own children, but with gloves and a plastic apron.

I know this is slightly different but...

When my dd was 13 (at high school) she had terrible periods, really heavy and long. One day, in a lesson, she leaked badly through her very thick sanitary pad and her clothes. (She'd had her light coloured jumper tied around her waist too).

I was called to come and collect her. When I got to the school all they had done was give her a carrier bag to sit on in the main reception, which was always very busy. She was humiliated and I was livid! They hadn't even offered her something from lost property and the chance to clean herself up!

Sorry my post is a bit off topic, it just made me think of that awful day.

Omg Sparkly How awful, I had periods like that, as that age, the school always let me go home to change, if I didnt have spares with me.

I am incredibly sorry, I can't help it. But I am laughing hysterically at this thread!

Knowingly Leaving a child with faeces contacting the skin is just neglect pure and simple. It leaves the skin sore and vulnerable to infection not to mention the dignity aspect. Safeguarding can be achieved by there being two members of staff ( even if one discreetly positioned) during the cleaning up process.

I would be livid and would feel the need to challenge this OP.

That's horrible Sparkly

OK now I feel terrible :( sorry everyone.

My DS did a poo at school on his first day; he managed to wipe but had skids and a very sore bum, so your DS must feel terrible.

'I would never have sent home a poo'

Raise all these concerns with ofsted, maybe?

I agree with Quint, If you werent even allowed to view the school, then there has got to be some serious issues.

FGS I am a teacher and there is no way that can be acceptable. I would enquiry what happened. I can only assume maybe he was given the bag to put his pants in and he didn't know what to do so put the pants and poo in the bag. I can't imagine an adult would do this.