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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School closure for a funeral?

291 replies

saywhaaaaat · 10/09/2014 21:14

Name changed - there is likely to be someone who knows me or the place I am refering to!

So, DC is back at school. A letter arrives on Monday from the head teacher informing of the sad passing of a teacher who had worked at the school for some time (20+ years). The letter also informs us that the school will be clsoed on the day of the funeral to allow all staff to attend. I thought this was a bit odd (as a public sector worker I have never encountered this type of response to a funeral) and hoped the funeral would take place on a Saturday.

Today another letter arrives. The entire school (400 odd children) is to be closed for an entire day next week.

In my experience it is usually more than acceptable for one or two people to represent the work place at funeral. I can't imagine many places where it would be acceptable to close an entire service for an entire day for a funeral.

This is bugging me but happy to accept that I am a mean so and so that has no heart etc....

So hit me. AIBU?

OP posts:
clam · 11/09/2014 19:05

Look, School. Is. Not. Childcare! You have kids, and you have to accept that there are going to be times when you have to make arrangements for their care over and above what you might expect. It might be an unexpected INSET day that you'd not known about, or they're unwell, or the school is closed due to extreme weather or, God forbid, someone dies and a funeral is arranged that inconveniences you.

It's part-and-parcel of the package, sorry. Get over it.

Hulababy · 11/09/2014 19:06

So a perk of teaching is that you can go to a friend and colleague's funeral????

Words fail me....

Hulababy · 11/09/2014 19:08

cumfycushion - I suspect if your loved one had died you would probably not be thinking of his friends and colleagues at the time. Obviously I may be worng, but I believe most people probably wouldn't be.

Woozlebear · 11/09/2014 19:08

And there are some people on this thread who would do well to remember that there are more important things in life than the practical details of one day. Like community, friendship, the cycle of life and death.

Hassle? Jobs still need to be done? Ffs. What sort of thing are you going to regret on your deathbed do you reckon? Not attending a funeral of someone you were close to, or that one day that was a bit of a pain?

naty1 · 11/09/2014 19:09

If someone cant attend work then someone covers it.
The work should be covered to enable them to go.
If it cant be, then they cant go.
I think it is a conflict between
School for teaching - not done if closed for the day
Childcare - not achieved as not open.

Clearly school is for teaching. But its reliabilty does enable parents to go to work.
I used to get 28 days holiday so even trying to cover all the holiday of school kids would be impossible.
You have to
Give notice of holiday
Ensure it doesnt conflict with other staff, especially in a small team.
Work were generally understanding but within limits, mainly not conflicting with others holiday.
Single parents/ where one works away, this could be very difficult.
I might not be able to/choose to take time off for a close friends funeral.

It would be fine if every family 1 parent didnt work, but as a lot do...
If it happened at work my team taking the day off would inconvenience less than 400 people but i wouldnt close down if even 30 people had to take extra unplanned holiday for the day. (Holiday is too precious)
So 1 persons desire to attend a funeral trumps anothers NEED to work and earn money. Some contract workers wont be paid.

Hulababy · 11/09/2014 19:12

RiverTam

But people did manage, same as they manage if their child is ill.

Asking for time off - some managers/bosses are actually quite empathetic and will help you out.
Arranging to swap duties/cover with colleagues and making time up if necessary at another time.
As whole school closed, joining up with other parents and looking after one another's children - this happened a lot when DD's school was affected.
etc.

Yes, it is inconvenient, but it is hardly a jolly they are heading out on. It's an unusual event - unlikely to happen several times to one school ime.

comfycushion · 11/09/2014 19:18

It is not a jolly i agree but it does not take all day.

Nobody yet to comment if tesco was shut for a funeral or the doctors etc

Hulababy · 11/09/2014 19:22

If it was a very small Tesco Express and only one shift of staff, so no one to cover - then yes, it should close to enable staff to go.

A large branch would have many staff not involved with the member who died therefore could arrange cover.

Ideally half a day or finishing earlier is ideal yes. But it depends on the time and location of the funeral.

Hulababy · 11/09/2014 19:23

Seeing as my doctors is only open part time anyway I wouldn't see any real difference. There would be the walk in centre for things that needed attention on the day - so no problem with that closing either. Nor a dentist surgery etc.

comfycushion · 11/09/2014 19:25

but all the time if people died...... as people die every week...

One week tesco closed next week the vet cancels two weeks time the dentist cancels, you would soon get pissed off.

And i DONT BELIEVE THAT EVERYBODY IN THE SCHOOL KNEW HER PERSONALLY AND WAS A GOOD FRIEND .....oops sorry for caps

dancestomyowntune · 11/09/2014 19:25

Comfycushion I did say that I worked in a shop who got cover so that all staff could attend. The business was Woolworths, and my husband works in a small butchers which did shut for our wedding. Staff force of about 6.

I think it's lovely that the school did this. Just a personal opinion. Shows a true respect for a staff member.

comfycushion · 11/09/2014 19:26

the dentist would be a prob if you had raging toothache and what if the walk in centre was shut as well.... due to...mmmmmm a funeral.

comfycushion · 11/09/2014 19:28

true respect for the staff member but no respect for the parents .... they should have a contingency plan to keep the school running for parents with no other option than unpaid leave.

clam · 11/09/2014 19:29

If I arrived to find the local Tesco express with a note on the door saying "closed due to funeral," I'd think "ok, I'll come back later."
If the drs surgery called me to say my appointment was being rescheduled due to a staff member's funeral, I'd think the same.

Wtf is wrong with some people?

Hulababy · 11/09/2014 19:30

cumfycushion - depends on the size of the school.

DD's school - one intake, 7 teachers, 1 HT, 2 TAs, catering and office staff, caretaker. Yes, they all knew the teacher who died very well.

If it happened at my school - 3 class intake, infants only - 9 class teachers, 12 TAs, HT, DHT, 2 caretakers, 3 office staff - yes, we all know one another well and would be deeply affected by a death in our ranks.

I have worked at secondary schools with far more teachers, far more pupils, far more staff. Infact, at the first one I taught at a teacher died. The school stayed open as in a big school not everyone knows one another, some hardly at all. It was easier for a dozen teachers to go and others either cover them (we used to have free sessions back then which were used for cover, or using suply).

clam · 11/09/2014 19:30

If I arrived to find the local Tesco express with a note on the door saying "closed due to funeral," I'd think "ok, I'll come back later."
If the drs surgery called me to say my appointment was being rescheduled due to a staff member's funeral, I'd think the same.

Wtf is wrong with some people?

Hulababy · 11/09/2014 19:32

comfy - what is the likelyhood of all of these places all being totally shut on the same day? Incredibly unlikely!

But yes, if they really all were closed all at the same time and on the same day I would be inconvenienced - but I would cope - and probably be very concerned about what on earth was happening in our city that had caused all these deaths at the same time.

comfycushion · 11/09/2014 19:32

clam....... no good coming back later its shut all day. Because we all know funerals take all day..

Anyway some people think it is ok and I am in the camp that think its not......end of.

comfycushion · 11/09/2014 19:33

Just to add i hope they all will not be paid for this day off.

Hulababy · 11/09/2014 19:33

If Tescos was closed I'd go to the other shops. I can walk, drive, cycle, use the bus - and find several alternatives, or even just a local shop and grab some essentials.

Hulababy · 11/09/2014 19:36

Re. pay - I really hope they ARE paid. Teachers are allowed a certain number of days off for this kind of absence, and usually paid - well it has been in every school I have worked in.

Comfy- you are showing yourself to be a very unsympathetic person, with little compassion or empathy.

Hulababy · 11/09/2014 19:37

More so, if it was my school and one of my colleagues - I couldn't care less if I wasn't paid tbh; I'd still want to go and pay my respects,

MrsPiggie · 11/09/2014 19:41

If the teachers want to attend a colleague's funeral, it is only right they should be allowed to do so. But the school should employ enough agency staff to ensure the school remains open for the day. It is their decision to close, they should bear the inconvenience and financial burden.

I totally understand teachers may want to pay their respects to a colleague. But their desire means nothing to my employer who would lose a day's work out of me.

Also, my DS was refused authorised absence last year to attend his grandfather's funeral. Obviously a day out of school would massively impact on his education - unless of course it was a day out of school for a teacher's funeral.

Hulababy · 11/09/2014 19:44

MrsPiggie - as said before, my school and DD's school authorised pupil absences for children to attend funerals. It comes under "exceptional circumstances" for both pupils and staff.

DD's school did not close because it was small - they would have had to have emergency staff in for all classes. And there would then be no senior management in with them - which is then a safeguarding issue and therefore would not be allowed. In the case of DD's teacher, he was also the deputy head and was close to both the HT and the other SMT teacher.

MrsPiggie · 11/09/2014 19:54

Hulababy - I wasn't responding to your particular situation, just generally commenting to the thread. Your DD was allowed authorised absence - mine wasn't. This has caused us upset at a time of grief. So obviously I would be very annoyed if his school closed for a teacher's funeral and I would totally see it as double standards.