School closure for a funeral?

[saywhaaaaat]

Name changed - there is likely to be someone who knows me or the place I am refering to!

So, DC is back at school. A letter arrives on Monday from the head teacher informing of the sad passing of a teacher who had worked at the school for some time (20+ years). The letter also informs us that the school will be clsoed on the day of the funeral to allow all staff to attend. I thought this was a bit odd (as a public sector worker I have never encountered this type of response to a funeral) and hoped the funeral would take place on a Saturday.

Today another letter arrives. The entire school (400 odd children) is to be closed for an entire day next week.

In my experience it is usually more than acceptable for one or two people to represent the work place at funeral. I can't imagine many places where it would be acceptable to close an entire service for an entire day for a funeral.

This is bugging me but happy to accept that I am a mean so and so that has no heart etc....

So hit me. AIBU?

OP you are not alone. I find the responses here bizarre. I also think the school shouldn't close for the whole day. There are ways to respect and remember people without disrupting 400 families.

I think it's a pisstake from the HT to be honest.

Yeah, the staff probably thought 'whoot! our colleague of 20 years is dead! Now, we could just have the funeral on Saturday (since, obviously, as colleagues rather than bereaved family the choice will be ours), but why not a school day, just for the lols? And we could drag ourselves back after lunch to teach, but why should we leave early from what will undoubtedly be a fucking barrel of laughs? Let's linger on all afternoon instead - that'll get the parents frothing!'

'Pisstake' indeed. Have some compassion, for christ's sake.

In my area the funeral director is offered a limited choice of slots (when I say choice it often isn't really a choice at all). The bereaved family have to pretty much go with what us given.

Funerals at our local crem are back to back through the day.

'Piss take from the head'

Vile comment which lacks respect and compassion

I think it's unnecessary.

I work in the public sector and colleagues have unfortunately died in service. It is quite normal for their manager to attend to formally represent the department but colleagues do attend too. Some people have worked here 30 or 40 years so obviously have made lot of friends in that time. Of course attendees make the time back. The funerals do tend to be in the late afternoon though. No doubt it was not possible to arrange this here.

there are ways to respect and remember people without disrupting 400 families

I'm pretty sure there are ways to remember people that don't involve you leaving your department at work short staff or disrupting the education of 29 other children by needing a catch up the following day but I'm pretty sure you'd want the time off work and to take your dc with you to someone dear ' s funeral. I get your the same people who'd be outraged that the time off wasn't approved and you were fined for unauthorised absence

Wouldn't this day be added back on later in the year? Schools have a statutory duty to provide 190(?) days of school each year. Presume this closure would be treated the same as closing the school for use as election voting station.

Although ds chose not to attend the funeral of a child at his school the whole day was spent thinking about it really.

Do you really think a teacher is going to be at their best on the day of a funeral if a colleague (especially as they will be dealing with upset children too).

Dd's school did only close for the afternoon but that was due to the timing of the funeral and the location of it. Often people don't have lots of choice over times. If it's at 12:00 then both morning and afternoon sessions are affected.

Dd's school arranged some childcare for limited numbers if very necessary. Only 2 children, out of approx 100, took up this. It was the nursery staff who didn't know the teacher v much at all. No education took place, it was purely childcare.

I only know of one parent who complained and tbh that didn't surprise me of that parent. The other parents were very supportive and were not impressed with the complainant.

Ours did not close for a recent teacher's funeral (@11.30am) - the teachers who were personal friends went to the funeral - the kids had an extended lunch and an afternoon assembly - which was a bit of a memorial assembly - with the teachers who were colleagues.

Thought it was all done beautifully as it allowed the kids to mourn together collectively.

I have never attended the funeral of someone who was not a close personal friend, so I guess I would find it odd if the whole school shut, having worked somewhere for 15 years and still only being close personal friends with a few work colleagues - I would not have taken the day off for a funeral of someone I hardly knew personally.

Those who said the school did not shut, was that primary or secondary.

Primary schools. & smaller private schools are a whole different thing to larger secondary schools where many colleagues will just be a name. In primary everyone is much closer.

Ours was a primary - 640 kids - a 3 class intake school - approx 30 teachers, 15 TAs and 8 ancillary staff - some part time, some job shares - not all lived locally either.

In a pool of more than 50 people you are unlikely to be close personal friends with all of them - even when you have been there for 20years.

I can understand for a small school with a single class intake that there is a different level of "closeness" and the school may have to close.

One of my teachers died very suddenly during the Easter holidays when I was in Primary school about 25 years ago. The school was closed for the funeral, no one complained, my parents and my friends parents understood and accepted it.

People are so incredibly self absorbed these days. I can still remember the assembly where her death was announced and all the other teacher and out headmaster being in tears, have a heart OP and don't be so bloody selfish.

I don't see this as being totally U, it can't be easy for every parent to get the time off work or arrange a whole days care for their DC.
I get that the staff knew and loved their colleague, an old friend of mine died a few months ago, she was only 50, I couldn't go because of work and distance.

I would be honoured that my relative was thought of so highly the school would shut.

Would it not concern you at all that many many people who didn't even know the teacher concerned would be very inconvenienced by this and would have to use up holiday?

Nope. Because most parents will know the staff member anyway and are capable as functioning adults to understand the importance of friends being able to attend such events

why would "most" parents know the teacher? - if your child is in YR and the teacher is in higher years you would not "know" them no matter how long they had been at the school, and for kids in other years, you may never have come across that teacher - most parents at our school drop and run or use breakfast club - so they would not necessarily know the teacher.

It is sad that a teacher at the school has died, if many of the other teachers were close personal friends, then I'm guessing the head took the decision to close the school so that they did not have to choose who could go to the funeral and who could not - which unfortunately has to happen in many other jobs.

kendodd no, because I work from the assumption that most people have a good basic level of compassion and understanding

Hmmm...I can see both sides of this tbh.
But I think half a day closure should be a "good" compromise?

yabu, but a sat funeral would have been better

But most people would know this teacher. She taught there for 20 years. In the school I have just left I have taught 150 of the current children there out of 210. They know me well. I have also taught entire sets of siblings.

And if I die they better bloody well come to my funeral/wake or I will haunt them.

Half day depends on times and locations though.

From here the nearest crem is 20-30 min drive away (at normal speed not funeral speed) so even presuming the staff member lived locally to the school it could easily pass into both sessions.

I know someone who works in a school who has been told that she is not allowed a day off for a funeral unless it is a member of her immediate family.

A friend of mine was "refused time off" from the school where she works for a funeral of a friend. She told me this story in amusement as she is part-time and the funeral was on a day she didn't work but someone had heard she was attending and went to all the effort of making the point of telling her that she could not.

I have also heard - but only on MN - of people being refused authorised absence to take their own children to funerals.

I wonder what those schools would do in this instance.