To be very concerned that DD2 is now telling lies about me to her form Tutor.

[smokepole]

I know it seems like every week, that DD2 is up to something than she apologizes and says sorry. However, I am very angry with her now , I got a phone call from DDs form tutor telling me that she seen DD2 and friend Julie working round the town 'drinking' beer from a can with some 'undesirable' non 'grammar school' boys (expect to get flamed for that) on Friday night. They were both supposed to have been in the Cinema . The form teacher approached them and asked them what was in the can ( butter would not melt in the mouth) DD said the can was empty and 'would not ever drink alcohol' 'Lovely to see you miss ' . The form tutor was having nothing of it so pulled them both Monday morning , Julie admitted to drinking beer, DD still denied she had drunk any Alcohol. DD then burst in to tears saying I am throwing her out after she has done her GCSEs because I am moving to Cheshire and that she is not allowed to come. DD asked her form teacher ' can I stay with you miss for sixth form'.

I told DD about two weeks ago that we were moving to Trafford in July after her GCSEs and DS school year ends, she fluctuates from being ok to swearing and slamming bedroom doors. The main reason I am going is for DD2 and DS , to give them a better chance, there really is nothing for them on the Kent coast. The thing is I keep 'grounding ' her and taking 10% of her allowance of her , she then returns to being the loving caring daughter I know she is.

The form tutor has given DD and Julie a detention, Julie for drinking, DD one for lying. DDs form teacher is very concerned about DDS behaviour and why she is acting like a year 7 ( incidentally she was so focused in year 7 overcoming her difficulties) she never behaved anything like this. This is the reason why her form tutor is very 'fond' of her. The form tutor told DD that year 11 is 'not the right time' for this behaviour.

Private school education here and remember drinking cider on the benches around Hale Bowling Green with boyfriend as a teen.

Ooh Mandy maybe we know each other

Maybe we do?

Given everyone knew everybody else

I told my brother to to read these ultra negative comments ( broke a habit of a lifetime reading Mumsnet) about the whole area. He just laughed and said after living in the Manchester area for 25 years (22 in Knutsford) he said he has never read such rubbish. The posts keep going on how Manchester and surrounding areas are the 'pits'. Who are the people who never went out of the area or experienced different areas?.

It is complete 'bollocks' about pupils from AGGS/BS Loreto St Ambrose /SALE GS/ Urmston being looked down by ' Private' school families . People are aware that only Withington/ MGS achieve 'Marginally' better results at A level than AGGS/ABGS . Parents only go private when they are unable to get access to either of them. The other grammar schools are achieving similar results to the other private schools . Mandy If you were educated Privately in Altrincham you obviously went to the defunct 'Culcheth Hall',the reason it closed is because parents realised that it was offering an inferior education to the nearby grammar schools.

Another history lesson ,the vast majority of private schools in the Manchester area were 'Direct Grammar Schools' that were forced to go private to protect them-selves. This has meant that fees are on the whole are less expensive than other areas . Unlike the south of England, private schools in Manchester were created by Government policies not by some idea to educate the upper classes away from the 'peasants'.

I just hope you never fall out with your brother if he's going to be paying for your ds' education & enhancing your lifestyle. Otherwise your ds will end up being 1 of the undesirables at a comprehensive. :(

[resists urge to add in a few random apostrophes for good measure]

I think I'd be pleased if any of my kids' teachers pulled them up for underage drinking and told me.

Kids do stupid things when drunk. Like get in a car with other stupid kids who've been drinking.

You are missing the point op why would your well off brother know anything about living in a semi in Timperley if he has lived 22 years in the Knutsford countryside. He is well out of it.

I will Never fall out with my brother!. N.B for the South East Lovers, Sister has made a great life just for her family outside Chelmsford Niece no1/ Nephew No1 benefited from the Grammar schools..

I would not have a problem if DS goes to the excellent Wellington school .

Parents only go private when they are unable to get access to either of them

Isn't this what you are doing, with your brother paying.

Also some parents send their children to private school so they don't mix with state educated children. A bit like your differential between grammar and non grammar pupils.

So is your daughter happy and toeing the line now?
All is sweetness and joy in your household, and she's fine with leaving her friends and familiar places now?
Or has she been promised a pony by her uncle to sweeten the deal?

Mandy. The idea is for me to use it as a base for the kids school's. I will move out to Knutsford 'hopefully' when the children finish school. The problem is I have only got £300k even in 'Timperley' that only buys a three bed 'semi'. Anyway Timperley did have one of the 'funniest' people ever 'Frank Sidebottom' Aka the late 'Chris Sievey'.

Down. He has promised her a 'pony' and a brand New Car on her 17th Birthday. He has also promised to pay for a two week holiday every year for her and two of her friends . He has also let her know that any of her friends can come and stay any time the like.

I have really enjoyed your posts op though. Thanks for that.

Is your DB married op?

"Another history lesson ,the vast majority of private schools in the Manchester area were 'Direct Grammar Schools' that were forced to go private to protect them-selves."

If 'patronising' people it's always a 'good' 'idea' to get the facts 'right'.

There are a handful of former Direct Grant (not Direct Grammar, Direct Grant) schools in Manchester: nine, to be precise. Of those, only four are now independent (Manchester Grammar, Manchester High School for Girls, St Bede's College and Withington Girls). There are at least twenty private schools in Manchester, depending on what you count as a school and whether you count prep and secondary schools as separate bodies if they share a site. There is no world in which four is the vast majority, or even the 'vast majority', of twenty.

"He has also let her know that any of her friends can come and stay any time the like."

I bet he has. "I would like to have naive seventeen year olds who are beholden to me and don't have their own transport sleeping in the room next to mine, says pervy brother with lots of money".

Oh and isn't Loreto private?

isn't Loreto private?

No. It became an academy in 2012.

Umm ... Admittedly, I'm biased by my special interest in the subject. But my first thought on hearing of a 15-year-old being given beer by an 18-year-old boy who beat up his girlfriend is: Are you sure she isn't being groomed for abuse?

I don't think the teacher was out of order; she acted very responsibly. Watch out for DD getting more treats & regularly going 'missing' for a few hours. Teach her about sexual exploitation, maybe.

Loreto. was Grant maintained from 1997 , before that It operated in a similar way to 'direct grant' where pupils from Trafford who passed the 11+ where paid by Trafford Council St Ambrose is similar in its arrangements.

My Brother is 'happily' married with a 15 year old daughter at boarding school in Berkshire and an 13 year old son at a private day school in Cheshire.

It is very 'offensive' to call my brother a 'perv' , do you call anybody you have never met that. By the way my brother has a two bedroom cottage on his land where his daughter and son have parties and entertain friends (in a controlled environment).

Garlic. You are the only one seeing sense, thankfully the 18 year old is not interested in DD but her friend Julie. however, some of his 15/16 year old 'groupies 'who do what he says are ,including boys who cannot be educated in mainstream schools due to persistent fighting , drug taking dealing on school premises threats to Knife pupils staff. I understand that many posters believe that it is normal for 'threats' to be issued to staff and pupils and should not be something to get worried about. It is of course an everyday occurrence in 'Inner city London Comprehensives' so people not bat an eye lid, after all your child benefits by socialising with all types of society. Mandy is now going to tell me that in 'Gunchester' in the 80s and 90s it was a regular thing for a pupil to bring a AKA 47 to school.

You need not worry though by the time ,I get through my newly arrived Open University (DD102 700 Pages) 'Understanding Social lives', I will be talking the same language as everybody else on here....

How are Differences and Inequalities produced?

It is all very well your DB promising all this but a completely different situation in practice once the realities of financially supporting two families.
What does his wife think about your plans?

thankfully the 18 year old is not interested in DD but her friend Julie - You paint a worrying picture, overall. Some assertive safeguarding should be happening around Julie, and I do think DD might be at risk.

My brother has always wanted to do it, but its only in the last 3 or 4 years after the turmoil of the 'financial' crash that he has been able to do it. It is his Wife who finally gave him the go ahead to do it. He has always been closer to me (5 years younger) than to his twin sister , though she has been very successful (partner in an accountancy firm) she is finally going to (Oxford at 45 to do an MSC in Mathematical finance) having shunned University at 18 to prove a point to her grammar school and Mum.