To be very concerned that DD2 is now telling lies about me to her form Tutor.

[smokepole]

I know it seems like every week, that DD2 is up to something than she apologizes and says sorry. However, I am very angry with her now , I got a phone call from DDs form tutor telling me that she seen DD2 and friend Julie working round the town 'drinking' beer from a can with some 'undesirable' non 'grammar school' boys (expect to get flamed for that) on Friday night. They were both supposed to have been in the Cinema . The form teacher approached them and asked them what was in the can ( butter would not melt in the mouth) DD said the can was empty and 'would not ever drink alcohol' 'Lovely to see you miss ' . The form tutor was having nothing of it so pulled them both Monday morning , Julie admitted to drinking beer, DD still denied she had drunk any Alcohol. DD then burst in to tears saying I am throwing her out after she has done her GCSEs because I am moving to Cheshire and that she is not allowed to come. DD asked her form teacher ' can I stay with you miss for sixth form'.

I told DD about two weeks ago that we were moving to Trafford in July after her GCSEs and DS school year ends, she fluctuates from being ok to swearing and slamming bedroom doors. The main reason I am going is for DD2 and DS , to give them a better chance, there really is nothing for them on the Kent coast. The thing is I keep 'grounding ' her and taking 10% of her allowance of her , she then returns to being the loving caring daughter I know she is.

The form tutor has given DD and Julie a detention, Julie for drinking, DD one for lying. DDs form teacher is very concerned about DDS behaviour and why she is acting like a year 7 ( incidentally she was so focused in year 7 overcoming her difficulties) she never behaved anything like this. This is the reason why her form tutor is very 'fond' of her. The form tutor told DD that year 11 is 'not the right time' for this behaviour.

Op By the way was educated in a Modern School.

OP has confused me by referring to herself as OP. It may however be the three hours sleep in the past 48 hours I've had though.

You may have had a normal education but you've come across as really condescending to those who haven't been grammar or privately educated. Not sure if that was your intention or not but that's the way it seems.

Also, this thread is hilariously bizarre

This thread has got me thinking. How do you move from one Class to another.

I think the answer to that is by education and the school and university you attended does in many ways define the class you are destined to be in all your life ( I know what I have said will not be popular but I believe it to be the truth). The unpalatable fact is that the higher class you come from does determine in most cases your career , your chances of getting to the top of that career and your choice of partner.

I could have never been anything other than Working Class , no matter how much money or success that I "might" have achieved. ( yeah you might have Social Economic terms, but there are meaningless when materialism is taken out) . The principal reasons for this being my secondary school, my choice of job and not being university educated( It could have been so different if my mum had paid that cheque).

It is therefore for that reason that my choice of my children's schools and who they socialise and mimic is of vital importance. There is no future in this country for Working Class people or for the next generation to be working class, they are destined to be at best ,support staff on pittance wages.

It is why I am so desperate for my children to be Middle Class, that involves getting A levels, getting a good degree and ultimately in to a sound and secure career . I would have failed all my children if they end up like me a "bitter 41 yr old, Nearly" ex Pub/Nightclub Manager who judges people based on their own hang ups.

So my children don't go to a grammar school, they go to a normal public school (well my ds goes to the nursery at the public school) so they've no future?

I call bat shit crazy and troll.

Public School Means : Eton, Wycombe Abbey. Are you not English Pretty?

smoke I am sure your kids can get A levels and do well from a state school. It's what's inside them as people that matters. You couldn't get more middleclass than me and I was state comprehensive educated.

Work ethic and parental support, that's the thing.

Nope, I'm Scottish. Public school round these parts mean the general council run schools that did a pretty damn good job of educating myself and my sister :)

Yup, it is private schools in Scotkand, not public, private as in restricted to those who can pay the fres

Beast Of burden. You are correct , my DD1 came out with ABB from a non grammar school in Kent. The best results in her year, they would have been AAA I am sure if Sister had not been so "tight fisted" and selfish in refusing to help her niece. Ultimately the grades she achieved, will not stop her doing the degree she has always wanted to do (Forensic Science with Chemistry @ Leicester ). It is not about that though, AAA was her real potential in the right environment . The fact she has overcome being in the wrong school for her is testament to her efforts, and also to the school. The school proved that they could educate their brightest pupil correctly. I am grateful to them for that, but the truth is she should have been at a grammar school.

Tonight it has been like watching paint dry , with the threads on the whole site.

Am I the only one on here who can generate feelings, because I don't display the monotone views that everybody seems to have on here.

She'd be better off doing Bio Med, fuck all jobs available in Forensic Science; DD2 was aiming to do that, and having checked it all out, has decided to go for Bio Med instead.

The rest of this thread is still totally cuckoo.

Very confused. Thought this thread had been deleted.

Op did you post about the pie in the teachers face?

Think I am going bat shit crazy here.

Think I am going bat shit crazy here.

I think that's the affect the thread is having on all of us

Add message | Report | Message poster smokepole Mon 22-Sep-14 12:25:48
My first TMA for DD102.

In your own words, define difference and inequality, and provide an example of each on City Road.

The "and" coming after the comma is the work of the Open University , it shows that they don't understand grammar like me.

It is an Oxford comma, used to add clarity when writing lists. Not universally accepted however I am a fan.

OP your sister had no obligation to pay your daughters education, you are your parent, you should have paid it yourself.

You claim you're trying to end the thread. If that's the case why did you revive it after a 5 hour period of inactivity last night?

"How do you move from one Class to another."

The basic starting point is to not go on about class.

The vast majority of people couldn't care less whether you went to the same sort of school that they did...unless you keep making them feel uncomfortable about it, at which point just about everyone from every social class is going to wish you'd go away. If you genuinely want your kids to "move from one class to another" then the best thing you could do is to stop putting so much emphasis on school type. It doesn't matter except to a very few, and there is nothing you can do to get in with them anyway except change who your parents were.

"Am I the only one on here who can generate feelings"

Of course not. Being antagonistic isn't difficult, it's just that most people actively choose not to do it.

I was answering a point made by Beast of burden. I was also (like I have done countless times praised DD1s non selective school).

Stratter DD1 was advised to do Forensic science and when completed she will join the police force on a fast track scheme. She was in the police cadets and has always wanted to be a police officer since being a young girl.

Philoslothy. Thanks for the clarity. I am trying to learn all the time about grammar, punctuation and how to put my views across in a logical and concise manner.

So if your sister had not been 'tight fisted then your child would have gone up two grades and got a place on the same course (as it was her preferred one) so it would have been of little benefit as the school already knew how to educate bright children?
Us lowly secondary school teachers are no less capable of educating children to the high levels they are capable of same as teachers in private schools.
It wasn't the wrong school for her. It was the school you could afford. If that was a problem for you you should have gained better employment.
It seems that your 'selfish' sister is the one way who has said no to you unlike the others who pander to you. I really hope your brother wakes up and follows suit. And has a stern word in your waste of space ex's too. That's not a working class habit, sitting on your arse letting your ex family fulfill your responsibilities for you!!!

wannabe. I wanted my DD1 to got the best possible grades for her ability not for entry to a degree course. She got an A in Chemistry was 5 Marks short of an A in English Literature and 7 marks short in Sociology .

I saw that study from Oxford University, whether it is the same for A levels that 2 grades are lost by middle class students I don't know. I also don't know whether her school is deprived with 13.3% FSM which for a Kent High School is quite a low figure. I do know that her A level grades were massively higher than the average grade of D+.

I have also stated that my EX is not sitting on his "Arse" he is working as a Night Porter in a hotel, the only job he can get at the moment. A bit of a come -down from being a regional Night Club Manager with a P.L.C., leading to his mind being all over the place. That pays £7.30 Per Hour @ 30 Hrs per week = £219, not really enough is it ?

Smokepole it's still the same, you can't expect your family to pay your way. That's just lazy and grabby. But I really do think this is a hoax because who in their right mind would be this way?

Then you should have provided it.
As you didn't you need to let it go.

Who are these people whose relatives pay for their kids education?

Mine got a tenner at Christmas and are grateful.

Me and dh work our arses to pay for our older 2 to go through uni and we still have another 2 to sort.

My kids get part time jobs at 15 as they see that mom and dad work their arses off to provide so they know what's what decent people do.

For their own kids. Their own responsibilities.

No pony, no car no holidays unless they are earned.

Shows how bloody working class we are.

Grandparents For A start . My Dad gave his brother £20,000 to educate his kids in 1991 but refused to pay private school fees for me in 1987. Don't understand that ?

If a family member is in a position to pay and their niece/nephew /godson daughter requires it . I think its a moral obligation to do so.

I accept some of my views are out of step with the posters on here . I do not understand why asking for temporary help (read the thread fully) to pay school fees for a niece is seen as "shocking" and not done. I also have friends as does my brother, whose family members have paid school fees for their brother /sister when they were not financially able to do so themselves.

People are being unduly snitty about that, Smoke, as you've successfully would so many of them up

The country's full of young adults whose parents paid for public school and/or private tuition, whose parents subbed them throughout university, whose parents bought them their first car and whose parents bought or paid the deposit on their first home. And whom, if the parents couldn't quite manage it, were similarly helped out by aunts/uncles/grandparents/godparents.
I am, quite honestly, envious - but not resentful :)

(I wouldn't normally apologise for the grammatical errors in my last post but, considering the nature of this thread, think I better had! Soz )