To be very concerned that DD2 is now telling lies about me to her form Tutor.

[smokepole]

I know it seems like every week, that DD2 is up to something than she apologizes and says sorry. However, I am very angry with her now , I got a phone call from DDs form tutor telling me that she seen DD2 and friend Julie working round the town 'drinking' beer from a can with some 'undesirable' non 'grammar school' boys (expect to get flamed for that) on Friday night. They were both supposed to have been in the Cinema . The form teacher approached them and asked them what was in the can ( butter would not melt in the mouth) DD said the can was empty and 'would not ever drink alcohol' 'Lovely to see you miss ' . The form tutor was having nothing of it so pulled them both Monday morning , Julie admitted to drinking beer, DD still denied she had drunk any Alcohol. DD then burst in to tears saying I am throwing her out after she has done her GCSEs because I am moving to Cheshire and that she is not allowed to come. DD asked her form teacher ' can I stay with you miss for sixth form'.

I told DD about two weeks ago that we were moving to Trafford in July after her GCSEs and DS school year ends, she fluctuates from being ok to swearing and slamming bedroom doors. The main reason I am going is for DD2 and DS , to give them a better chance, there really is nothing for them on the Kent coast. The thing is I keep 'grounding ' her and taking 10% of her allowance of her , she then returns to being the loving caring daughter I know she is.

The form tutor has given DD and Julie a detention, Julie for drinking, DD one for lying. DDs form teacher is very concerned about DDS behaviour and why she is acting like a year 7 ( incidentally she was so focused in year 7 overcoming her difficulties) she never behaved anything like this. This is the reason why her form tutor is very 'fond' of her. The form tutor told DD that year 11 is 'not the right time' for this behaviour.

I am glad someone on here Loves Manchester and the North West. Someone earlier said that trouble was not just caused by Working class louts but by all types of classes of people.

There is no doubt that people from certain educational and social backgrounds are less likely to knife someone than from other backgrounds though. I accept there are "Baddies" from other classes but they are very rare.

The other thing is the school or type of school you attended is possibly the greatest single contributory factor, to what career you will end up in. Watch me get a " I went to the worst school in the world and ended up a nuclear scientist post". It is true in 95% of circumstances.

I am now going to say something that for even this "mad" thread sounds ridiculous. When I was 14 one of my mums friends convinced her that Benenden was the right school for me, I went to have a look at the place , fell in love with it (not hard coming from the worst school in Kent ). In them days failing the 11+ did not bar you from there. The entry requirements were just being a "naice" girl. mum paid the deposit , I was due to start in the fourth year or (whatever) my dad decided that he was not going to allow me to join the ranks of them and refused to pay. (it is my mums greatest regret that she did not just pay a cheque against my dads wishes). I would not have made Oxford but may who knows may have made Bristol (joke). Instead I toggled back to La Manche and came out with 4 D grades at GCSE, ended up working in a Ice Cream Van but hey my dad bought me a constant selection of flash cars, nice watches for my efforts.

He did not do the one thing that may have stopped me from being on this thread now when he had the means to do that :give me A Good Education.

It is for that reason that everyone on this thread, if they are being true to themselves would sell a kidney if that allowed their child to get a good education. People do this by tutoring , paying fees or by using specialist schools or in the case of DD1 sending her 25 miles to live with her dad.

Thank you Rollergirl. They are certainly Ideas that merit Serious consideration on here.

Smoke - if private education is what you see as the best way forward for your DC (and I fully support every parent's choice to send their children to the school of their choice) then there is another way - and that is to look into scholarships, bursaries etc. That way you would be less reliant on your brother.

I have to say that many people feel very strongly that every single school in the country, whether state or private, should offer an education that allows every child to achieve his or her full potential and they might get a bit riled by some of the things you say. I'm not trying to be critical of you, just making an observation as I think you said you weren't too great at reading various situations. This can be a very emotive subject indeed!

Don't allow yourself to be defined by your education - that was then and this is now. You've had more years out of school than you spent in school and you have plans to do an OU degree which is wonderful. Perhaps if you are not so ready to put yourself down then others will not do so either?
Hoping your move will give you the chance to start a new and positive life.

There are some good ideas here, aren't there? :)

Schools can make a huge difference, not just to the academic outcome but to the person. This is especially true, I think, when the parents for whatever reason can't support their children's education at home in the right ways for that child. My school 'saved' me & my sisters, to some degree, from our family. It was a single-sex grammar that selected the top 5% 11+ intake. None of us got great results - school couldn't repair all the undermining we had at home - but we benefited from the high quality education and pastoral care in many lasting ways.

I'd have loved Benenden then, too! Though I'd have been one of the girls smoking weed in the gardens at night

Thank you Katie and again Garlic. Have you worked out La Manche then.

I have to say it is the greatest possible difference you could ever have have between there and benenden. It would have been quite amusing though when asked by the girls which school you came from. " I have never heard of that one I guess would have been the answer". I bet though they would have thought I was "Well Hard"

Hmmm - up to a point. Lord Copper ...

I was Grammer and my brother was Private ( The very old and very posh one - natch ) and we've both been comprehensively out GCSE'd by his two boys and DS1 who all went to the bog-standard state secondary down the road. ( They are also MUCH less drunken and debauched than we were at their age )

And on what planet is suggesting that a woman might be attracted to you anti-gay?

You're so hung up on what you think is the best education, which equates to private, I think it's really sad and lazy of you.

Let me tell you something (I wouldn't usually do this but I'm getting riled now) which I think you won't be able to comprehend. DH earns six figures. I work too and so we are very comfortable. We could have put our children through private education. But we chose not to. They go to the local catholic school, which we are both very happy with, and they are doing very well at. The school you go to does not 100% define you.

To be perfectly honest I think you are incredibly narrow-minded and ignorant. I think your attitude will do more damage to your children then the school they go to.

None of my children nor me have been educated in a Private School. DS will only go private if that is the only option when I move

. : DD1 Educated Primary ,High School DD 2 Primary ,Grammar School DS Primary ,Grammar School, . Grammar schools are the best option, not private schools. II have never said Private schools are the best, they become the answer only when no selective option is available.

Smokepole 118 Posts. Ilovesooty 42 Posts ,Facebook ,25 posts Garlic 24 posts
Hakulyt 13 posts, RollerGirl 11 posts .

Er, what?

I think that makes 9 posts...

Whatever - I'm going to bed ...

Fuck me, I thought I was tragically addicted to Mumsnet I've yet to count my posts vs everyone's replies, though!

Er….are you drunk?

This bonkers thread reminds me of an old joke.

Man A is moving to a new town, he meets a woman on his way there.

man "hello what are the people in this new town like"
woman "what were the people like where you come from"
Man "oh they were kind, funny, generous and I had many great friends"
woman "well the people in this town are just the same"

The next day another man (man B) is moving to the town. He meets the same woman and asks her what the people are like in the new town.

woman "what were the people like in your old town?"
Man B "oh they were cruel, mean spirited and I had not a friend among them"
woman "well the people in this town are just the same"

This is totally bonkers and also the best advert for getting rid of grammars.

OP going back to your early posts wtf is an 18 year old doing at a PRU?

Sashh, My DD1 would have been proud of finding that one , She is doing forensic Science !.

It should have read was at a PRU unit (not now but was) I guess here comes flaming :NO 154. for not allowing a man to forget his past and start a fresh , after all he should be able to continue learning his "trade" at 18 without being judged for it.

I actually think its the best advert for grammar schools, they might learn how to use English correctly instead of using in the way I use it.

Anyway got to watch a video about the "Street" in my OU course !.

What was the point of counting posts?

No point really, I suppose its like counting sheep it helps you fall asleep.

okaaaaaay…...

With regards to bringing up my children with the right ethics and respect for all types of people.

Quantum Potui Melius, Qui Potest Melius.

Quid quid latine dictum sit altum videtur

In Opere Crescit !

Oderint Dum Metuant could possibly sum up my views, but I think Obscurum Per Obscurius is how my posts tend to be viewed in relation to my posts

I am Gutted ,just Spent 40 Minutes writing a post on the Gordon Brown "Superstar" thread . I liked what I had posted... The bloody thread has been deleted..