To be very concerned that DD2 is now telling lies about me to her form Tutor.

[smokepole]

I know it seems like every week, that DD2 is up to something than she apologizes and says sorry. However, I am very angry with her now , I got a phone call from DDs form tutor telling me that she seen DD2 and friend Julie working round the town 'drinking' beer from a can with some 'undesirable' non 'grammar school' boys (expect to get flamed for that) on Friday night. They were both supposed to have been in the Cinema . The form teacher approached them and asked them what was in the can ( butter would not melt in the mouth) DD said the can was empty and 'would not ever drink alcohol' 'Lovely to see you miss ' . The form tutor was having nothing of it so pulled them both Monday morning , Julie admitted to drinking beer, DD still denied she had drunk any Alcohol. DD then burst in to tears saying I am throwing her out after she has done her GCSEs because I am moving to Cheshire and that she is not allowed to come. DD asked her form teacher ' can I stay with you miss for sixth form'.

I told DD about two weeks ago that we were moving to Trafford in July after her GCSEs and DS school year ends, she fluctuates from being ok to swearing and slamming bedroom doors. The main reason I am going is for DD2 and DS , to give them a better chance, there really is nothing for them on the Kent coast. The thing is I keep 'grounding ' her and taking 10% of her allowance of her , she then returns to being the loving caring daughter I know she is.

The form tutor has given DD and Julie a detention, Julie for drinking, DD one for lying. DDs form teacher is very concerned about DDS behaviour and why she is acting like a year 7 ( incidentally she was so focused in year 7 overcoming her difficulties) she never behaved anything like this. This is the reason why her form tutor is very 'fond' of her. The form tutor told DD that year 11 is 'not the right time' for this behaviour.

what's a modern school boy op? If you mean the term secondary modern that went out with the arc. But like your obsession with class/schools.

If she asks you to see her etchings it's a dastardly plot.

I'm going for a lie down, this thread is giving me a headache....

She has NO intention of taking advice or deviating from her chosen 'path'.
I refuse to believe that two people who profuse to be so talented and at the time of their games eons ago cannot gain meaningful employment.
It's a case of not wanting too.

Newsflash! I am now a "Socialist" having watched Riot Club.

For the record Altrincham Centre is "horrible" and dead on Friday/Saturday night. When the Metro came in to Altrincham it brought in all the undesirables with it , sadly it has ruined what used to be quite a good night out at the weekend. it is "nearly" as bad as Folkestone at night. nowhere compares to Dover though .

The ridiculous thing about Altrincham centre though is that I think it has one of highest number of unlet commercial properties in the country, yet just 500 Metres from the centre Altrincham Grammar's add up to 300k to properties. The centre is full of "crap", sorry its not full just those that are about are "low Lifes".

See I give a balanced view to things. P.S There is no way in a Million years that DD and DS will be allowed out in Altrincham after 8PM . I wont mind them socialising in Costa in Hale with school friends.

Can I count on your support when I found out that DDs "Grammar School" tutor has been Two timing me, by sleeping with my brother.

Find Out, the Drink is taking hold.

Tutor said though ,that my sister who was two years older than her was a right Oga at school when she became a prefect. She would relentlessly "grass" people up for undoing their top button as well as anything she could get brownie points for......

I wonder when the last time was you went out in Dover to run it down so beautifully?
Hole or not it's some peoples home and your sneery attitude is ludicrous.
The way you talk about your children and socialising??? They are not infants. And coming from a woman who's pub someone was shot outside......
Everytime I think you are verging on the ridiculous you save the day by becoming more so.....

The whole modern school thing is a bit confusing anyway as our local not-quite-so-posh-as-the-really-posh-public school is called Feckless' Hometown Modern to differentiate it from the seriously old and posh one which is just Feckless' Hometown School ... ( Gives self headache and goes back to bed )

I am in now way talented , I just worked bloody hard. Regarding a customer being shot outside one of their Pubs, believe me you would feel the same way I do about places and people if it had happened to you. You would do your up most to protect your children from every witnessing any of it.

It is the truth that in most circumstances (whether posters on here like it). The ones who end up Shooting customers , Knifing or Glassing people are the very people that I am trying to keep DD away from. These people graduate from being a bit of "trouble" and fun to being seriously nasty and very difficult to deal with.

There are many social issues and many inequalities in society, that cause this. I am not able to understand them nor can I personally do anything to prevent people including girls turning out like this. The only thing I can do is make sure my children are "naive" to it all that is what I intend to do.

Some people outside the "late night industry" have this "Romanticised" idea of what club life is like. Bouncers, Champagne ,Cash , Sex. They talk a"did you hear what happened at last night" It fascinates people, their whole day seems to centred around X , Professional people are often the biggest gossips about this. The majority of posters on here would not last one day in the industry (other than working on the bar ). They would after one day working the "door" of any regional Pub/Club come home in total fear

School teachers go on about how challenging it is dealing with kids behaviour, imagine these extremely challenging kids 5 -7 years later plied full of drink and drugs. That description does not even come close to describing the realities of what they are like to deal with. 20 years in the pub/club industry has taught me that 99% of the time , the trouble comes from the very people I have mentioned.

Um I come from the same area as you and they are not a regular occurrence. My brother lives in a posh area and was mugged whilst on the phone to my mum.

You cannot protect them forever. You can guide them and give them the necessary skills to make good judgements.

Anti social behaviour is not just for the working class. Posh kids at good schools fuck up too.

I agree with what a poster wrote further back you seem unable to move on stuck in some ms favershamesque delusion that you are still 'a big cheese'. You waffle shit about people not lasting in the 'industry' you ran some pubs and not well or you would still be doing it.

Let it go and move on.
You won't though. I would put money on it. It's the kids I feel sorry for.

The ones who end up Shooting customers , Knifing or Glassing people are the very people that I am trying to keep DD away from. These people graduate from being a bit of "trouble" and fun to being seriously nasty and very difficult to deal with.

Actually smoke I won't disagree with you there. If you think your children are at serious risk of becoming close to these people you need to do whateer you can to nip it in the bud while you still have some control over the situation, because soon you won't have a say in it and it might be too late.

But I do think you need to learn not to over-generalise about people based entirely on what type of school they went to. The nastiest, most out of control, violent yob I know actually went to a minor independent school. His dad just happened to be a bit of a thug who had money.

That is exactly what I did , thoughit was easier than it might have been because DD did not really like them she was flattered to have attracted their attention.

As I have said DD is "quite young for her age" 2 months short of 16 , this is the opposite to how I was at her age. I like to keep it that that way please.

I want her to be getting 'stressed ' about handing in her homework on time not about 'bad boys'.

Wannabee. Not very good at running pubs. ?

Start with 1 Ice Cream van in 1962.

By 1997 Owning 2 Public Houses doing @ 'Composite' 1000 Barrels of Beer (garlic will know what that means). Own 1 50 Bedroom Hotel Turning Over 1.5 Million PA . 1 Night club turning over 750k PA 3 pier Cafe's turning over 500k 2 Amusement Arcades turning 300kPA 15 Buy to let properties and 4 Ice Cream Vans.

Not very good at running Pubs or catering outlets....

Your dds tutor is after your 99s love.

If she says she wants a bit of vanilla sauce run for the hills.

I am not that way . However, I am actually shocked that on Mumsnet posters are making anti Gay/Lesbian Jokes Not very nice is it !

there's nothing 'anti-gay' about them?

So why we're you unable to translate those achievements and transferable skills when your businesses were closed? And please don't say it was because there was a corporate mould you didn't fit.

Were not we're sorry.

Sorry, but any discriminatory comments I've seen about others have come from you smoke

Ilovesooty. Is that a 1500 Word essay for my End of Module Assignment ?.

That is a bloody difficult question to answer.

I looked at buying some Pubs/ Off Licenses ( Bargain Booze ,Thresher's) I am glad I did not go near Threshers . I was looking at buying 5 Thresher Franchises @ 30k Each , The company said that they would support the Franchisees in particular those who were buying multi franchise's . Threshers crashed about 4 months after that "thank god" I did not buy any of them Bargain Booze was similar but their terms of business are not that great. I was looking at all kinds of businesses related to my experience as well as potential employment.

What has happened to me is not unique in the industry, a close friend had a family Hotel business in Lancashire , when the hotel was sold he could not get a job for over 2 years . The catering industry did not offer him anything, the General Manager of my friends hotel was also shunted out. My friend now sells Funeral Packages, the General Manager who had over 25 years of hotel experience runs a couple of taxis.

The businesses were not closed but sold, my parents are still very well off.

Hi smoke.

I can't disagree with you on many of your points. Haven't read all the thread but know what you are about by now

Of course you want to do the best for your children and I can vouch that Altrincham has really gone down hill.
We looked at the area when we first moved back up here again, it was lovely but unfortunately out of our price range, well the nice bits anyway.

It is still to expensive and a dump, I wouldn't want to live their now and don't care how many good schools it boasts. There are just as many awful areas there I wouldn't touch and that's coming from me who lives in the undesirable part of Lancashire

Hi Smoke.
I'v got direct experience of moving from one type of job after a long period of time (30 years in my case) and looking for work.
now, I have to work in order to live but this doesn't seem to be the case for you?
Anyway, in the first place you said your CVs were done professionally 10 years ago. I'd get them changed as they are probably very old fashioned now. Most job applications ask you to state what personal qualities and experience you have that will demonstrate your ability to do the job and you've said that you have some undiagnosed difficulties that hinder you, so why not look into getting some assistance with this? Perhaps your brother would help?
If you want to work (and there are loads of benefits beside earning money - getting you out of the house every day, into a routine, meeting other people, learning new skills etc) then you have to accept that you will start off at a lower wage than you previously earned. that doesn't mean you will always stay on a low wage though!
You must have made loads of contacts in your years working in your parents' business - do some networking with them and find out what opportunities there are. If necessary, swallow your pride, forget the fact you used to be a manager and start afresh. If you don't actually need to earn money, then why not go out and volunteer somewhere?
There is much more to life than cars costing silly amounts of money - there is pride taken in a job done well, knowing you are a useful member of society, doing something constructive and setting a good example to your children. It's nice of your brother to offer assistance, but your children need to learn to stand on their own two feet and that material possessions are not terribly important
Oh - and I love the Manchester area! I'd have no problems moving down there, whereas the south of England is definitely not my cup of tea. We're all different and you are totally allowed to want to move there.

What on earth do you mean?

Anti gay? Anti lesbian?

Don't be do utterly ridiculous.

This thread gets madder and madder.

Great post Katie

Agree, really lovely and helpful post Katie.

Smoke, you got some sound advice there and would do you good to consider it.