To be very concerned that DD2 is now telling lies about me to her form Tutor.

[smokepole]

I know it seems like every week, that DD2 is up to something than she apologizes and says sorry. However, I am very angry with her now , I got a phone call from DDs form tutor telling me that she seen DD2 and friend Julie working round the town 'drinking' beer from a can with some 'undesirable' non 'grammar school' boys (expect to get flamed for that) on Friday night. They were both supposed to have been in the Cinema . The form teacher approached them and asked them what was in the can ( butter would not melt in the mouth) DD said the can was empty and 'would not ever drink alcohol' 'Lovely to see you miss ' . The form tutor was having nothing of it so pulled them both Monday morning , Julie admitted to drinking beer, DD still denied she had drunk any Alcohol. DD then burst in to tears saying I am throwing her out after she has done her GCSEs because I am moving to Cheshire and that she is not allowed to come. DD asked her form teacher ' can I stay with you miss for sixth form'.

I told DD about two weeks ago that we were moving to Trafford in July after her GCSEs and DS school year ends, she fluctuates from being ok to swearing and slamming bedroom doors. The main reason I am going is for DD2 and DS , to give them a better chance, there really is nothing for them on the Kent coast. The thing is I keep 'grounding ' her and taking 10% of her allowance of her , she then returns to being the loving caring daughter I know she is.

The form tutor has given DD and Julie a detention, Julie for drinking, DD one for lying. DDs form teacher is very concerned about DDS behaviour and why she is acting like a year 7 ( incidentally she was so focused in year 7 overcoming her difficulties) she never behaved anything like this. This is the reason why her form tutor is very 'fond' of her. The form tutor told DD that year 11 is 'not the right time' for this behaviour.

bloody hell, how many times can I say 'by the sounds of things' in one post?

My family has had money for 40 years , my parents still have "money". It is not about that though. my children have been very well supported by their grandparents.

Why would anyone who was not on the "Breadline" consider working for minimum wage or similar in a boring job .

The reason I am doing a Social Science Degree is because it is " Interesting".

Dont Drink. What Degree should I do?

I did not think £250k Equity was that much to be honest?

Seriously : I have never had a Mortgage I just bought the house outright in 2000 for £135K.

If you had read the thread correctly you would have read that I had to give up a significant number of shares for a deal to to be completed for the business to be sold for half its true value due to market conditions and a "debt" mountain.

1 50 Bedroom Hotel , 2 Successful Pubs, 2 Amusement Arcades ,1 Night club 3 Pier Cafe's 15 Buy to let Properties, 4 Ice cream Vans . TAT....

I am sick of people saying things what are your "realistic expectations" . These shares I had to give up were worth £500k, not a massive amount, but clearly enough to give me a chance to be self sufficient .

I have only mentioned it because I have been goaded in to explaining why I don't want to work in a Supermarket or need to.

I have only mentioned it because I have been goaded in to explaining why I don't want to work in a Supermarket or need to

But you DO need to because you can't support your children! You are leaching money off your brother and parents while you swan around not working.

Also 'half it's true value' FFS the business was worth jack shit if you couldn't service the debt.

Working class roots? Round here an obsessive interest in equity, cramming for selective schools and keeping little Jocasta away from the wrong sort of boy isn't exactly Citizen Smith territory ...

So what do you Do then? . Do you just walk away let the banks take your business or do you fight for the best possible outcome. The reason we could not 'Service' the debt was due to a sudden dramatic loss of 20% of turnover due to a "Shooting of a customer in the leg outside on of the pubs" (subsequent bad publicity) and also the economic downturn around 2007/08. The banks wanted to call in the "debt" of £2 Million and were not prepared to give us an extension or alteration in terms . Anybody heard of "GRG" Global Restructuring group R.B.S.

The solution was for me to sign over my house to the bank and get £200k which saw us through the next 14 months ( Mum and Dads house was protected in case there was no way out because it was worth enough for us to start again as a family). None of us took any Salary for 12 months, we just had enough money to pay for living expenses. finally in 2009 we managed to sell the business,though I had to give up my shares. I did that because it was the only way we could get out.

Yeah that's totally shit, and a lot of people have been through a terrible time with loosing business totally or selling for a bad price.

But why haven't you gone out and got a paying job since? You obviously have lots of skills if you had a successful business.

Your attitude towards people who work in supermarkets or in minimum wage jobs stinks quite frankly as far as I'm concerned.
And at least they can show their children that they're prepared to go out and earn rather than expect money to be handed to them.
I think more highly of someone with a bit of self respect than I do of someone who takes handouts then sneers at others.

I sent 100 CVs out and as I have explained earlier and got 2 interviews. Neither of them had anything for me . So for 4 years I worked Part-time for a friend answering phone calls, though mostly that was just to keep them company for "business" lunches. He sold the company so there was no role for me about 5 months ago hence have not worked since April.

Oh, have a heart Sooty her ex lost his Merc - those sort of things leave a scar, you know ...

Ilovesooty. I have just received my "Understanding Social Lives" books from the Open University (DD 102) . I am learning about City Road in Cardiff , all about the multi cultural aspect, the differences and the inequalities that are evident on just one Metropolitan road in Cardiff, it is "Fascinating and Enlightening" and will help me see things from a different perspective.

It doesn't sound to me as though you have any idea of how to look for work in a competitive job market.
I doubt if your Open University course will make you any more employable either
And it will take more than reading one book to help you view your fellow human beings from the perspective most of us would recognise or value.

Having just read all of this and amidst the confusion, bewilderment and yes I'm ashamed to say hilarity, I have learned one thing..

garlic is the one person you can turn to in as crisis. How lovely you are garlic!

That is allx

You should all be very pleased then, that your taxes are not going on supporting me . Think off it this way despite my lack of employability and needs, I can still make you laugh and it does not cost you anything.

I lovesooty. So if all I can earn is £6 or £7 per hour why bother even looking for employment. I have come to terms with the fact that I am not very employable. ( I just accept it and get on with my life , the best I can).

How should I look for employment then, what qualities can I offer anyone other than someone who likes a long lunch and a good chatter .

If I did not do the Social Science degree, how could I improve myself (not just in terms of employment) but as a person who is more compassionate , not as judgemental and takes people more on face value.

The family business employed 50 full time and 30 part time staff ,I am aware that some of our most valuable staff, were the lower earners within the business.

So what are you going to do with it?
Is it full or part time?
If you aren't working then how are you paying bills? For the children?
It's just so lax. You have no pride in providing for your own whatever the job and neither does your mercedesless ex husband.
What's he been doing for the last 15 years?
Unbelievable and even worse deluded......

Part time at the moment. I have got to see if I am capable of the level of work required. Actually he was working in the company until about 2007. He still does whatever he can to earn money (though limited in earning potential). Hopefully if my DCs get a a good education , they will be able to have good careers. DD1 wants to join the police force after University, DD2 wants to be a Secondary English teacher. It is far to late for me to have a career (other than the one I had Garlic, understands what that entailed)

When you have no social life due to be working every Thursday,Friday Saturday, night until 2am as well Monday,Tuesday Wednesday day. Things like nice Cars as does going out "partying" when you can become more important ,than to people who have more normal or regular life's.

It is an industry that no-one would ever want their children to go any where near (other than working part time at University in bar work or catering)

. On the whole "professional" catering staff can only work in catering, they are almost unemployable in any other industry. The least employable of all catering staff is Ex director's of family catering businesses.

Why do you have to do something with a degree, other than just using it for learning?.

So if all I can earn is £6 or £7 per hour why bother even looking for employment

Words fail me.

Why do words fail you. I do not cost you a single penny in your taxes .

The truth is I will end up paying large amounts of inheritance tax.
My family and I have more than paid our way in this country, we have never claimed one penny of benefit between us ( no doubt someone will say Pension is a benefit). As a family we have employed 80 people paid god knows how much money we have paid in VAT, National Insurance, Corporation Tax ,Capital Gains Tax ,Income tax in 50 years of running a business and to cap it all there will be large Inheritance tax bill due in time.

We as a family have paid our dues to this country, and are entitled to "dish" our money to who and how we like.

Lovesooty. Once again you have chosen to post the comment that paints me in the light you see me. You have not posted the comment that shows , how "fucked" or down on my self I am or how unlikely I am to get reasonable and worthwhile employment.

I do stand though that you keep goading me to make comments to defend my position .

What has any of this got to do with my original post ?

Your disclosures moved it in this direction. You choose to take handouts rather than accept unskilled work. I'm not Goading you - I'm just amazed and shocked by you in pretty equal measure.
I'm not particularly bothered about you not having claimed benefits. Relying on handouts is failing to be self sufficient wherever the money comes from. And why is it "too late" for you? Plenty retrain in their 40s or older. I think though the way you sneer at those who don't meet with your approval angers me the most.

Unskilled work would not Support my family.

Perhaps not in the style to which you wish them to become accustomed. Other people manage. It's financially difficult, but they manage.