To be very concerned that DD2 is now telling lies about me to her form Tutor.

[smokepole]

I know it seems like every week, that DD2 is up to something than she apologizes and says sorry. However, I am very angry with her now , I got a phone call from DDs form tutor telling me that she seen DD2 and friend Julie working round the town 'drinking' beer from a can with some 'undesirable' non 'grammar school' boys (expect to get flamed for that) on Friday night. They were both supposed to have been in the Cinema . The form teacher approached them and asked them what was in the can ( butter would not melt in the mouth) DD said the can was empty and 'would not ever drink alcohol' 'Lovely to see you miss ' . The form tutor was having nothing of it so pulled them both Monday morning , Julie admitted to drinking beer, DD still denied she had drunk any Alcohol. DD then burst in to tears saying I am throwing her out after she has done her GCSEs because I am moving to Cheshire and that she is not allowed to come. DD asked her form teacher ' can I stay with you miss for sixth form'.

I told DD about two weeks ago that we were moving to Trafford in July after her GCSEs and DS school year ends, she fluctuates from being ok to swearing and slamming bedroom doors. The main reason I am going is for DD2 and DS , to give them a better chance, there really is nothing for them on the Kent coast. The thing is I keep 'grounding ' her and taking 10% of her allowance of her , she then returns to being the loving caring daughter I know she is.

The form tutor has given DD and Julie a detention, Julie for drinking, DD one for lying. DDs form teacher is very concerned about DDS behaviour and why she is acting like a year 7 ( incidentally she was so focused in year 7 overcoming her difficulties) she never behaved anything like this. This is the reason why her form tutor is very 'fond' of her. The form tutor told DD that year 11 is 'not the right time' for this behaviour.

Dyspraxia is on the Spectrum and crosses over with ASD.

Mandy. Check out National Autistic Society WWW. Autism. and Dyspraxic Adults.

If you're not working at the moment how are you planning to get the mortgage for the house in Timperley?

I have 250K Equity in my house ' guess who are going to give me 50k Mum/Dad and Brother. 300k 3/4 Bed Semi.

My parents company did not go under , they have quite a sizeable amount of money . It is though half what they should have got. Whatever the Stamp Duty, Solicitors fees and cost of living is it will be sorted.

Under £200K I don't know where you are looking try Oakfield Drive Brookfield Drive. £250- £300k. Stop being insulting without checking your facts.

My son is on the autistic spectrum and has a great head for numbers, I suspect that he could run his own business.

Thank you. Philoslothy. I am can take the 'Barbs' and insults.

However, some people may not be able to take the Bullying, Name calling and rude comments about me and my brother.

The other thing that needs to be realised is when I say grammar boys/girls I don't just mean getting top grades . I mean those that have a good work ethic behave well at school, do their homework have ambition in life. This could include kids who try hard whatever school they are at.

Maybe that does not make much sense but its my interpretation anyway.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-43404289.html

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-46112644.html

There is another in Fairywell Rd for £184950

All within walking distance of Brookfield and Oakfield drive.

And those are the ones £200000 and under.

I wonder what your brother does because as far as I can see he has gone from not having any money 7 years ago to not only being able to bribe DD2 with a £30000 car and a pony, he could be paying for ds to be at private school for the next 5+ years then he is also paying to buy his you a house, minimum outlay £70000 then he is also footing your household bills and spending money. I hope his business can stand the financial pressure.

And Smoke you come across as very entitled. I wonder what will happen when the pack of cards falls and it will fall.

The other thing that needs to be realised is when I say grammar boys/girls I don't just mean getting top grades . I mean those that have a good work ethic behave well at school, do their homework have ambition in life. This could include kids who try hard whatever school they are at.

Well if you mean that why not say it? Not everyone in a grammar school has a great work ethic and there are plenty of students in comprehensives or secondary moderns who do.

This whole thread is odd.

To be fair to the OP I looked up Timperley ( I know nothing about the area) and there were 84 houses that were 3 bed or more. Only 11 were under 200k and they went up to just under a million. Most seemed to be between 250 and 350k.

Although I am not sure why it is an insult to say that there are lots of houses under £200k.

The OP seems preoccupied with money and status symbols which would be understandable if she grew up in poverty - but she claims she has not.

I also find her reliance on her family odd- and I say that as the sibling who has bought her family houses, paid for weddings and medical treatment.

Tutor was probably genuinely concerned, I might have intervened in her position, presumably she rang OP on Monday (she wouldn't have the number at the weekend) hence OP knowing what DD said.

On the matter of your daughter. She probably feels like she will have no home. This is clearly untrue, but feels true for her. I would address with her the emotions underlying this lie rather than the lie itself. On the alcohol front, I wouldn't be worried about the beer but I would be about being out drinking on the street, so would encourage her to explore alcohol within reasonable limits at home, under supervision - takes the mystery out and is legal.

'I certainly would never leave my company in the charge of someone with autism and leave a dyspraxic in charge of the finance of a company.'

You need to educate yourself then mandyandme.

I can't believe you actually posted that.

Mandy was over-generalising there for sure, but to be fair they are called 'disabilities' for a reason. People with autism or dyspraxia cannot do certain things others can do, or cannot do them well enough to be be considered sufficiently capable.

It would entirely depend on the nature of the business and the position within it I suppose, but I don't think it's a totally unreasonable statement, it just needs fine-tuning.

Mandy. My brother has not just made money in the last seven years, just that for a short time around 2007/8 he had to be a bit cautious. At the time he was paying prep school fees for both is children and his business had suffered a temporary blip. He is not going to be losing any sleep over what he is helping me with.

The reason I pulled up Mandy about house prices in Timperley is that since the beginning of the thread, she has done nothing but constantly call the place one comment was you can smell the sewage farm.

Philosothy. What has how I was brought up got to do with needing help .
For the record I was brought up in a very comfortable way ( though quite why my parents sent me to my school I will never know). The statement that I find your reliance on family members odd, If you had read the thread fully. You would have read that due to the circumstances of the sale of the business , I was unable to receive a 'consideration' for 15 years of effort, that would have helped me become self sufficient and not reliant on the 'largesse' of other family members.

Exactly what "good work ethic" are you demonstrating Smoke? Not only is your DB paying for a private education for your DS but it now appears that he will actually be stumping up for your day to day existence. You have a very skewed outlook on life. You seem to be unhealthily pre-occupied with what you perceive to be the right schooling for your kids. But I think it's more about the "status" you think it gives you. Perhaps you should focus a bit more on the message that you alone are sending to your children with not working and happily accepting (and expecting) your siblings and parents to keep you.

It seems to me that your parents have probably been carrying you for most of your adult life. People lose jobs and are made reduntant all the time. They don't receive "consideration" for their effort. It's just the way life is and you get on with it. Your brother and sister obviously managed to find their own way and are responsible for themselves and their families. Why aren't you? You sound like an immature, selfish brat and I think you seriously need to grow up, take a look at yourself and take responsibility for yourself and your children.

one comment was you can smell the sewage farm

I never said that.

I am most interested in this thread because your family reminds me so much like mine where one family member makes some money and decides to share it with other family members. The result being that the other family members over the years became quite infantile and acting the way Smoke is acting.

I couldn't stomach seeing 40 + year olds acting like children holding their hand out for crumbs from the brothers table and so left to live in a seedy flat in a bad area of London. Best move I ever made.

I suppose what most people are getting at Smoke is that you keep going on about work ethic but then in the next breath talk about how your brother and your parents will fund your lifestyle. I think you need to get a job that doesn't involve your parents or your brother or your friends giving you one

Having read this thread from the beginning you seem to always blame others for different problems in your life. From the petty criminals who devalued your parents business so you could not walk away with a lump sum to your sister not paying for your children to go to private school.

I showed Smoke that if she is insistent on going to live in Timperley there are houses she can afford which would leave money over so she could put ds and dd into private school herself. Then just getting a job to pay the bills would make her self sufficient.

The reason I put about people with autism not being able to run a business is the type of business I run and for a lot of businesses it is not just about the paperwork it is about reading people's faces, selling and haggling. A dfs dd is quite high functioning autistic and wants to work in a clothes shop. However her idea of customer service is if a customer came in looking for a dress she said she would get her a dress put it in a bag and sell it to her. Never mind the size, colour or length. She cannot see the difference between one dress and another.

Bonkers as this thread is, it does ring true. I once worked with a women from Kent, who obsessively mentioned the fact she'd gone to a Kent grammar. She was soooo glad that grammars existed and she'd passed the 11+, otherwise her life would have been over. Because if you failed and went to a Kent secondary modern your life was ruined at 11 and you could never succeed. Which seems like an argument against the 11+ to me!

She once actually got abusive when I mentioned in passing I'd been to a comp as she thought I'd failed the 11+. A grown woman getting abusive to another adult in a public work setting because she thought I'd failed an exam 15 years previously. She was only civil when she found I'd been educated in an all-comp country (Wales).

So yes I've personally experienced the Kent-grammar obsessive superiority exhibited by Smokepole and the disbelief that one can succeed in life without passing that ruddy exam and being separated from the herd!

Clearly, it does appear that in Kent, 11+ failures are regarded as utermenschen though. The 'modern' schools are underfunded and 'naice' people won't allow their kids to associate with them as they are dregs, and they'll never be allowed to forget it, even in adulthood. I've seen the other thread from the OP in which her 'secondary modern' daughter is abused by the 'grammar' little madam because she's 'inferior'

Ok Mandy. some one else said the Sewage thing.

Regarding the Consideration: For the deal to go through I had to give up shares that I had in the company.

Mandy has also demonstrated, how difficult it can be for 'autistic' people to find employment that works with their talents. However, autism effects everybody differently ,there is not a blanket rule has to what a person from autism can or can't do. One Crazy thing I did as an 18 year old working in one of the Pubs behind the bar was : A customer came in and asked for Gin+Tonic ,Vodka + Tonic and something else. I gave the drinks over , the customer said which is the Gin+ Tonic I drank from one glass and said that's the Gin and gave the startled customer his drink.

One skill that I found I had was to be shit hot at ordering , I could judge Volumes required to the most precise detail across Alcohol, Food ,cleaning materials E.T.C. .I did it in a method that only I could understand, none of the other 50 members of staff could fathom my method or read my garbled notes or appalling writing. The difference though was when ever I went away for a week or two and someone else took over ordering , they would grossly over order.

The reason I am so uptight about my Kids education and the 'right' schools is because the last thing I want is for my kids to be dependant on other people. DD1 is a very self reliant person with great determination. DD2 could become a great teacher ( that's what she wants, though as a grammar school teacher at the moment) hopefully with Kids who suffer from learning difficulties like her.

Fridgepants. I must have done all right then considering my problems, to have got 4 D grades at GCSE in 1990 with Zero help, at a school where nobody ( as far as I can remember passed anything C or above).

You haven't even been diagnosed as having Autism and now all of a sudden it's a dead cert that you have and it's another reason why you can't find employment.

Your DC's going to a private school paid for by your brother is making them dependent on other people! Can't you see that?

I have reported the below. Though the poster has nuanced her replies since and is a bit more understandable, this is not a defensible thing to say.

[*Quote removed by MNHQ as it referenced a deleted post]

You cannot write a person off because they have a disability with a huge spectrum and which also does not describe the whole of that person.

You have no idea how a person may have adapted and adjusted to compensate for their disability. You have no idea the extent of their abilities, qualifications and training.

You just cannot write off a whole section of the population like that. It's disablist.