To be very concerned that DD2 is now telling lies about me to her form Tutor.

[smokepole]

I know it seems like every week, that DD2 is up to something than she apologizes and says sorry. However, I am very angry with her now , I got a phone call from DDs form tutor telling me that she seen DD2 and friend Julie working round the town 'drinking' beer from a can with some 'undesirable' non 'grammar school' boys (expect to get flamed for that) on Friday night. They were both supposed to have been in the Cinema . The form teacher approached them and asked them what was in the can ( butter would not melt in the mouth) DD said the can was empty and 'would not ever drink alcohol' 'Lovely to see you miss ' . The form tutor was having nothing of it so pulled them both Monday morning , Julie admitted to drinking beer, DD still denied she had drunk any Alcohol. DD then burst in to tears saying I am throwing her out after she has done her GCSEs because I am moving to Cheshire and that she is not allowed to come. DD asked her form teacher ' can I stay with you miss for sixth form'.

I told DD about two weeks ago that we were moving to Trafford in July after her GCSEs and DS school year ends, she fluctuates from being ok to swearing and slamming bedroom doors. The main reason I am going is for DD2 and DS , to give them a better chance, there really is nothing for them on the Kent coast. The thing is I keep 'grounding ' her and taking 10% of her allowance of her , she then returns to being the loving caring daughter I know she is.

The form tutor has given DD and Julie a detention, Julie for drinking, DD one for lying. DDs form teacher is very concerned about DDS behaviour and why she is acting like a year 7 ( incidentally she was so focused in year 7 overcoming her difficulties) she never behaved anything like this. This is the reason why her form tutor is very 'fond' of her. The form tutor told DD that year 11 is 'not the right time' for this behaviour.

Is Durham up there with Cambridge ?.

I thought Durham was just a good Russell group University.

I don't Know: Probably just Academics...

Durham is the go-to place if you can't get into Oxford or Cambridge I believe. Also very, very posh.

The only way your daughter's educational needs could be met was by keeping her segregated at lunchtime?

ilovesooty don't rise to it. This thread has gone off the rails. The OP is, at best, unwell and at worst being deliberately provocative to posters who were initially trying to help her with the issues with her daughter.

Op sounds like a snob. I went to the worst school in town and it didn't prevent me doing well

Unexpected/Lovesooty. I did not say she was segregated at lunchtime , what happened was the separate groups tended to sit apart from each other.

The segregation in terms of classes was the schools idea, they have a grammar stream in operation .What the school did was separate the 20 or so high ability pupils in to one group, who always were in the same classes even though to the end of year 13. Why is me saying that deemed to be provocative.

Mutternutter. You school was not as bad as my school, mine was the worst in the country Sorry Kent....

Smokepole - what you are so dramatically calling segregation is simply what most comprehensives (aka "moderns" ) do - streaming into lower, middle and top sets. Nothing new there.

....so not really sure why you made such a big deal about it

I have not made a big deal about it but other people have taken exception to my use of words.

Are there really families who make pacts to not make any of their children go to "moderns" ?! And then fall out because one sibling won't rescue the others child from having to go to one. Unbelievable. I live in a county with no grammar schools and even chose to come and live here. Amazingly our 2 DS our turning out lovely young men and well qualified too - just hope they don't resent us too much in the future.

Smoke pole: I suspect that everything you write is intentionally provocative, right down to the 'weird' emphasis you place on 'certain' words. It's all very contrived and manufactured.

When someone is in a position, where they can help get their Niece in to the most suitable school and chooses to do nothing. Yeah I think that's reason to fall out (especially as she knew she would get the money back 2- 3 years later).

I think this thread is utter 'tosh'

I don't see why anyone should feel obliged to pay for their niece's schooling whether they'd get the money back or not.

Trafford is definitely Manchester. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trafford

Actually if you want the real answer the border between Lancashire and Cheshire is the River Mersey and at the point where TGI Friday's is in SALE
Stretford is Lancashire, Sale , Altrincham ,Timperley, Bowden ,are Cheshire.

That is the truth. Sod the contrived Greater Manchester bull shit.

You can say it is all you like but the link (and every other site) says that those areas are historically Cheshire but now very much Manchester. I think almost everyone up north would class it as Manchetster too!

www.postcode-info.co.uk/greater-manchester-areas-371.html

Oh I don't mean that negatively btw....I live 15 mins drive from Manchester and love it and totally see the benefits of the north west.

Op sorry if you have answered already but what school did you go to?

I find it very odd that your sister has been villified and labelled as a bit of an aloof outsider by you and the rest of your family, for refusing to stump up the cash to enable your children to go to private school.

Most odd. No-one would realistically expect their siblings to commit to such a thing. Are you from an Indian background? Only they are the only people I know who would feel such a collective obligation to help family members in such a way.

Don'tDrink

Exactly. Odd and entitled.

I agree don'tdrink. Quite frankly op if you had a lifestyle choice and education marked out for your children then why are you not providing it?
I love my siblings dearly but I would be forking out for their children's education and 'ponies' and '30k cars'.

Love for op to come to our house where dd goes to Central London private school and ds goes to comprehensive in special measures that we purposely chose for him to go to. My children go to the school that suits them not one that was chosen before they were born.

I find it very odd that your sister has been villified and labelled as a bit of an aloof outsider by you and the rest of your family, for refusing to stump up the cash to enable your children to go to private school.

It would be most fascinating to hear what she says and whether she too lives under a bridge.

No not Indian background. Just part of family that helps each other.

She would have been lending money, that was safe and would have been paid back , why is that a difficult concept to understand. What's the difference between grandparents paying or other family members if they have the means and you don't? .
Sparkle I have answered that in a simple code early on you will have to work it out. School is now a renamed academy , it has a fantastic building a very smart uniform and is beginning to deliver a good education to half its students.

Anyway I have just got up after kipping for 3 hours as I leave for the journey from hell at 2Am Knutsford To Dover -ish 265 Miles AA route planner 4H 34 mins without a stop I will be stopping . Mum and dad are doing Sunday lunch for kids , ex and me. I think I will give that a miss tomorrow .