AIBU to insist the nursery let my 15year old dd pick up her 4 yr old sister

[yestheyhavethesamedad]

I have recently started a new job after being unemployed for 2 months, that has set hours but unfortunately due to traffic I don't get home until 6.10pm and the nursery shut at exactly 6pm.
My 15year old dd has offered to pick her sister up at 5.55pm and will be home for 6.05.

However the nursery will not allow her to do this as she isn't 16.

so am I being unreasonable to insist that they allow her to collect and I will sign a disclaimer to say that I am happy to allow this .

Ah ok get you now

Like I said.... common sense out of the window. Happuily I do know what I am talking about.

Ofsted will respond well to a policy exemption, and it will be an E+D issue in this instance. It will be seen as being responsive to an individual's need without increasing risk to the running of the nursery, other children etc.

You can all shout and throw a tissy fit but that is how it should work, in the real world where real people live.

And yes, I do know about Ofsted, I know how well they respond to exemptions as I have had one looked at and guess what? They gave us brownie points for respecting the E+D of the family concerned. They had specific needs, none of which came in under the discrimination act but, had we kept to them rigidly we would have excluded them from our service. We responded outside our usual policies, we allowed them to continue using the service - that being the job and all!

It can be done, if the nursery chooses to facilitate it. That's all I am saying. There is no law, insurance restriction or Ofsted perspective that makes it impossible.

I don't understand there has to be 2 members of staff working, childminders and nanny have children on their own.

Can you find a childminder who will release your 4 yr old to your older daughter?
I know it means she will have sole charge for longer with her younger sister, but might sort the problem out?

How much would it cost to be late every time?
Do you finish at 6? Or earlier?? Any nurserys right next to work you could use?

When is DD1 turning 16?

Wouldn't a childminder be cheaper for you nursery must be costing you a fortune. Oh childminders are regulated differently from nurseries

You cant get round the fact that sister is 15 and you are assuming the poster is in England she may not be

Iirc the poster is in Scotland

No ofsted obviously be a different body different policies

Yep - and as a private enterprise, no legal (or otherwise) requirement for the nursery to amend its policy for one parent. Not saying I agree with it - as I said upthread, we were affected by the same rule up here too and it was bloody frustrating. Nursery was under no requirement to meet my request though.

That is stupid, I have worked in nurseries for nearly 20 years. And never come across a nursery that won't let a child home with a sibling if the parent has requested.
In fact I had a 3 month old baby start last week and mum who is 15 comes to pick him up. Would your nursery not allow this op? I would put the question to them.

nurseries are not there to just do what parents want or tell them to do regardless of who is paying. yes they are providing a service but they have a legal responsibility to safeguard that child. in most cases letting a young teen collect would not be safe so they have to draw the line somewhere, they are not just being awkward. Talk to them though and see if you can come to an agreement or ask a fellow mum to collect alongside your older dd?

tohot - there are examples on here of nurseries that don't allow siblings to collect their younger brothers and sisters. It can and does happen, depending on their policy. It might be stupid, but if that's the policy, that's the policy.

Quick Update

I spoke to the manager today, I was very polite and explained that I was going to have to withdraw my dd from nursery as I couldn't physically get there for 6pm. She told me she would message the director of the nursery chain and see if there was a way around it as it was a staff member who had spoken to my mother not the manager and I think my mother was less than polite to them and they were not inclined to help her.

After I had finished work there was a message saying that the director has informed her that there is no rules against my daughter picking her sister up and that as long as I signed a disclaimer they are happy for her to do so.

So just want to say thanks to everyone for there advice.

Ah brilliant :)

That's great :)

I'd be having words with your Mum though.

I have apologised on my mums behalf and told my mum next time she goes somewhere on my behalf that she isn't to talk unless she can be polite and well mannered.

Well done you. If people want to go around being 'less than polite' on their 'own time' fine, but not when they 'represent' you - it's gobsmackingly rude!
Does she even realise how much grief she has actually caused and how much more she could have potentially caused, or is she in her own 'I'm always right' bubble?

Anyway, I'm glad you felt able to go and talk to the manager and ended up with a good result :)

Oh well, it looks like your 15 year-old can be trusted but not your mum

Glad you sorted it.

You can insist but they're legally in the right, and you probably agreed to it when you joined.

There has to be a cut off point, some 16 yos are fine, others no way. Also, asking another parent to do this is illegal and I wouldn't feel comfortable- what if something happened, god forbid? That parent would be responsible. Also, this isn't a new thing- my mum was head of a nursery school in the 70's and often had to wait for parents even if they'd sent their 13/14/15 yo to collect. Can't you work through a break at work and leave ten minutes early?

Oh good result!