AIBU to insist the nursery let my 15year old dd pick up her 4 yr old sister

[yestheyhavethesamedad]

I have recently started a new job after being unemployed for 2 months, that has set hours but unfortunately due to traffic I don't get home until 6.10pm and the nursery shut at exactly 6pm.
My 15year old dd has offered to pick her sister up at 5.55pm and will be home for 6.05.

However the nursery will not allow her to do this as she isn't 16.

so am I being unreasonable to insist that they allow her to collect and I will sign a disclaimer to say that I am happy to allow this .

We wouldn't be allowed to make an exception.

Tell them her birthday's next week? Your mum's a wally!

Yabu I'm afraid and thry can and will declare it a safeguarding issue and involve soc services. Schools certainly have done under similar circumstances.

It is your decision who picks up your child. You are the parent, they are providing child care, no more, no less. Tell them that's what is happening and what you expect from them.

It might get them into trouble with OFSTED with regards to safeguarding. Also their insurance, as others have mentioned.

I worked in private nurseries and all had this rule, I remember it haven't to be re thought when 2 teenage mums placed their hildten with us. One was 14 almost 15 and the other exactly a year older.

I honestly can't remember the outcome, some sort of disclaimer I believe

Doesn't work like that Almost. The OP will be politely told that if it doesn't suit her then she is welcome to go elsewhere for childcare - they won't risk invalidating their insurance or a visit from OFSTED.

I wouldn't be allowed to let a child leave with a 15 year old.
I'd be for the chop if I did.

It is your decision who picks up your child. You are the parent, they are providing child care, no more, no less. Tell them that's what is happening and what you expect from them.

But they are in the business of providing childcare and can refuse to do that for a client who will not abide by their policies. They may be paid to care for the OP's child, but they do not have to do anything if it will invalidate their insurance/put them at risk of legal action/potentially leave them falling foul of Ofsted.

They are in loco parentis or whatever. They are responsible for dc until they are relinquished to a responsible adult who has permission from a parent with pr. As your dd1 is a minor, legally, they would still be responsible for dd2 after she had left the nursery. It's an untenable position for them. Although your situation is very difficult they anbu to stick to the rules. I don't have any magic solutions though. Perhaps ask the nursery if a nursery nurse would walk home with dd 2 each night until you get home? Obviously they would need paying though.

Almostfifty If OP breaks the internet's policies that she would have agreed to when signing the contract they can give immediate notice.

I would expect them to keep your child until an adult arrive and charge whatev their standard late charge was (ours used to be £5 per child per 15 mins). However that was meant for exceptional occasions only, not regular pickups.

How long till your DD turns 16?

The law states that, 'If someone under 16 is looking after a child, the parent or guardian, and not the babysitter, remain legally responsible for the child's safety'.

So, if you've given a letter stating your older child is picking up, you're legally responsible. End of.

Nursery's even

I think that's a bit ridiculous tbh so YANBU

Personally I'd just tell them she was 16 ...I'll await the indignant uproar ...but seriously you know your own children. A 15 yr old can be very responsible

That's babysitter so not the same - if the nursery has insurance which states that the child must not leave with anyone under the age of 16 then that's it. You can jump up and down all you like, but if that's their policy then they will (rightly) adhere to it.

Almostfifty I would still refuse and give the parent notice if I was the nursery manager. Company policy,take it or leave it.

I would see if there are a couple of parents who would 'collect' your DD when they collect their DC and hand her over to your older DD. It's madness.

It's not their place to say who can and can't pick up your daughter - you are the parent and it falls to you. Once the 6pm session is up, loco parentis is no longer their problem, it's yours and if you say your DS is fine, they a written note confirming that this is the case should suffice.
It's what primary schools do when a child walks home - the school generally don't seek to dictate (unless it's a very young child) but they do need written record that you have allowed this to absolve themselves of any responsibility should anything go wrong.
I would personally say that this is not ok and that if they don't revisit their policy with a view to them allowing this, you will seek alternate childcare provision and complain to Ofsted.

then a written note

In which case, I would suspect they would agree to you seeking alternative childcare and informing OFSTED that they are adhering to their policy/insurance policy.

OP - is there a 16 year old in the area who might be happy to pick up your DC for a small fee?

Not at all 'end of'.

Your argument would only apply if the OP picked up the child then immediately passed them on to an U16.

It certainly doesn't mean a childcare facility has satisfied all the safeguarding stuff they have to do with regard to handover!

Also, they are a business, & have every right to decide it's a bit of a worry & they don't want to provide childcare to OP on that basis.

For what it's worth, I'm with OP that it would be a totally sensible solution - but the nursery do not have to agree to it, & may well be making their own lives simpler & safer by saying no.

I'd definitely go with doing a deal with another parent to do the actual handover, & then pass to dd, if that's a possibility!

Dds old primary school used to let my childminders 12yo son pick my 5yo dd up without my permission.

OP, yanbu. They should let you decide.

Ofstead would not be interested as this as it doesn't impact on the standard of care the nursery provides. And a private nursery can choose who they want as clients and can give notice, which can be instant if they consider unreasonable behaviour.

Ofsted would be interested if they felt that safeguarding of preschoolers wasn't being properly adhered to- ie handing over to a minor. That's why they won't hand over to your dd. Nursery is an optional service rendered. They don't have to provide it to you and you don't have to choose them. Find another nursery.