To not be sure if a 17 year old boy can be in the right headspace to train as a midwife?

[Boysclothes]

I know a few male midwives, all older guys who are nurse converted and are all great. No problem with it at all.

However a friends son wants to be in a caring profession and she has asked me to have a chat with him about becoming a midwife, direct entry so training from next September. She knows a bit about it and thinks the autonomy/quicker progression/pay etc makes it more desirable than being a nurse.

So, I'm just musing here as I know the admissions tutors will make the decision they see fit, but I'm not sure if a just turned 18 year old lad could cope with or make sense of midwifery. It's just so very female isn't it? And if he hasn't got much experience of women, it just seems a bit... I dunno.... Inappropriate, possibly?

I'm going to tell him about the realities of the job but what are your thoughts?

There are just some jobs that are more suited to males or females

So what in your opinion are the jobs that are more suited to males than to females? What job is a male more suited to?

Genuine question. Would love you to answer. Very much doubt you will though.

AnnaFiveTowns ???

I do not think it appropriate for young males to be midwives. I say this as a feminist who believes in equal rights for men and women.

You cannot put those two sentences together and expect to be taken seriously. If you believe in equal right then you believe in equal rights, and that does not include telling one gender that certain jobs are not appropriate for them.

Women don't need midwives unless they have had intimacy with a man.

Or had ivf, or been raped

And having intimacy with one man doesn't equate to being ok with any man visiting the area, even in a medical context.

Totally agree woohoo. You are doing feminism a disservice with that statement. It is shit like that that makes the ill-educated talk about ball busting, man-hating feminists and does not represent any brand of feminism I recognise.

I would be fine to have a young male midwife give me an internal. Which in itself legitimises it as a valid career choice, as I cannot be alone. Equally I would not condemn anyone asking to see a female midwife.

This thread saddens me. We cannot have equal rights for women if we don't give men the same.

We do give equal rights for men and women on this one- i.e. both women and men have the right to ask that intimate examinations are carried out by a HCP of the same sex if they prefer. By law (and by the thinking of anyone with half an ounce of sensitivity) this right takes precedence over the right of anyone of either sex to work in whatever job they choose.

The reason this appears on the face of it to be an anti-male issue is simply because there is no male equivalent of midwifery/gynaecology in the medical profession- certainly not one that what- 90? 95? % of men have cause to use during their normal healthy lives. If there was, there'd be just as much call for male nurses in that specialism I'd imagine.

'Women don't need midwives unless they have had intimacy with a man'

Words fail me.

Is there not a difference, though, between some individuals asking for their choice of gender for intimate exams and one gender being allowed, or not, to train in a particular field?

Men are allowed to be interested in reproductive health and babies. I can quite see a man having a vocation to deliver babies and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It is not inappropriate in any way.

Male midwives are hugely in the minority saucy, so I don't think there is any danger that most women will ever have to encounter one anyway.

I always request a female midwife/doctor/anyone doing anything physical (even just checking my leg or whatever- although most of my appointments are to do with my mh so I don't really have to ask much) due to some stuff in the past. I'm not unique. I don't think male midwives should be discouraged at all- any midwife, in fact. It is a great, caring profession, needing a lot of hard work, both to get there and while working as one. I wouldn't want him to intimately examine me, although I would be okay about him being in the room as long as another woman was there. I'm sure a pregnant woman having a panic attack isn't what most midwives want and the only man who has ever been the one supposed to be examining me has nodded and got a woman (I did apologise, and have been told I don't need to). I think good for him, though, he shouldn't be discouraged, but I would refuse him examining me.

The question of being able to request a male or female Dr/MW for anything to do with your health is a separate issue IMO. We all have that right, men included. We can all ask for a different Dr or MW just because we don't really like the current one if we want.

Just because we have the right to request a female midwife doesn't mean that it is inappropriate for a man to be a midwife.

The younger girls on my course have matured a lot as their practice has begun to develop. Their manner and way of speaking and considering circumstances has changed. Us oldies have changed too. I have definitely learned to reflect, learned to bite my tongue, learned to look deeper and consider why things happen. We all of us have to learn and change, that isn't only something the younger generations need to do. In many ways they are more open, we old folks and mothers are coloured by our experiences and it can be hard to leave those behind. I sometimes think that is an advantage men have, they can be objective, they will never be tempted to compare a woman's labour with their own.

Yabu he would actually get to be a midwife until he was about 20 my husbands a nurse and it takes 3 years for that course alone plus I would imagine he would have to sit a levels ECt

My sister went into unseeing straight after school and she is now a public helath nurseing manager she is 27

I wouldn't want any 17 year old tbh - I went in 4 times over 4 days (back to back baby so he took ages) and I felt most confident - out of all the mw I saw - with the mw who was older as her experience and confidence helped.

Not bothered whether it was a male or female more that I was in experienced hands. I appreciate that experience comes with practice but 17 is v young IMO.

I can't find the [banging my head on the table] emoticon, so you'll have to have this instead.

Of course YABU.

But the op is asking is it appropriate for a man to be a midwife.

Might as well ask is if appropriate for a woman to be an engineer

Well yes but the 17 year old wouldn't be alone, wouldn't be the sole person responsible. The 17 year old (who would be 18 by the time he started, we are talking about a boy who is considering his options while still at school) would feel a belly either before or after his mentor, would observe some births before moving on to being hands on with his hands over or under the mentor's hands until the mentor felt that he was capable of doing it himself and the mentor would retreat a little to being hands poised to step in if necessary. The 17 year old would not be responsible until he was older and more experienced. By the end of his first placement he would be doing blood pressures etc without having them double checked but only once the mentor was happy that he was consistently accurate.

There are no 17 year old midwives! You do know it takes 3 years to train to be a midwife? It's a degree, a highly competitive degree course, that has a rigorous interview process. Assuming school leavers are 18 when they leave school, they are not qualified autonomous midwives until 21 at the very earliest. So you won't have a 17 year old caring for you and making decisions on their own about your care. Ever.

Sorry I'm too slow, that was in response to maddening'd psot about experience.

Might as well ask is if appropriate for a woman to be an engineer

Do engineers look closely at/touch women's genitals during one of the most vulnerable times in their lives, then?

Ok then. A urologist. There is no career

No career that should be off limits on the grounds of gender alone.