AIBU about the Calais migrants?

[Sunny67]

Having read another story today about the Calais migrants trying to get to the UK is it unreasonable to think that there are many safe countries before you get here?
Before anyone shouts racist, I'm not talking about people fleeing war zones and ending up it camps. I'm asking why people want to cross the channel and not stop in France or a previous country?

tbh I agree with apple to some extent but more so when you are a client and then the person talks to their colleague in another language. it can make you feel excluded.

ooh maybe the people feel self conscious speaking English but if you want to settle here permanently then it is important.

only lovers you feel in the minority as everyone moves out of the area. look at the no go areas e.g places in Bradford. it didn't start out like that.

The point is my DC are British, they are mother tongue English speakers but they happen to speak to DH in Arabic because we are doing One Parent One Language so they can use both languages (DH speaks good English). This doesn't make them less British. There isn't one fixed type of British that we all have to conform to.

I think that's a good thing LadyKnome, being bilingual is an asset

alemci I don't know Bradford, but are the 'no go areas' areas where certain people can't go or just don't want to go?

And why is it a problem to feel in the minority? This is a genuine question.

I don't think anyone should have to speak English or the native language of the country they are in when in non work/school situations. I can speak pretty good Swedish but I speak English to my ds and to my English friends, I'm not going to speak Swedish on the bus do that strangers can listen to my conversation without feeling uncomfortable.

Ikea, I don't adjust my language either to suit people on the bus etc. Why should we?! I just don't get that Alemci might feel excluded if I speak a language she doesn't understand. Why should she feel entitled to listen in to a private conversation? Why does she think I need to speak the language of my (current) country - to my family or friends when another language would suit us better?! I choose which language I want to use at any one time.

I've lived abroad for a long time. It never ceases to amaze me how so many of the DM-reading types never make any effort to pick up the language of the country they are living in and don't see any hypocrisy when they criticise immigrants in the UK for (in their view) not integrating or learning English.

ahem

I didn't comment on the bus scenario, it was when you are a client and people talk another language in front of you. I don't want to listen to your private conversations on buses.

Sorry alemci.

What is it that disturbs you when someone speaks another language in front of you in a work context? What is going through your mind?

that they are talking about you or making a joke at your expense, this would be more a situation if I am in a shop or e.g. a nailbar.

that they are talking about you or making a joke at your expense, this would be more a situation if I am in a shop or e.g. a nailbar.

That's sad.

All I can say is that if I'm out in a public space and speaking English to my DC, most people I come into contact with have no idea I can understand everything they say in their language - and I've never come across anyone who was talking about me or making a joke at my expense.

Also, when you speak a number of languages, you tend to forget which language you are speaking and who may or may not understand. I know I might easily forget that someone around me just doesn't understand.

One last thing, languages involve some kind of connection, often an emotional connection. I have a relationship with my DH only in certain languages; other languages are just not possible. It is completely unnatural to demand that immigrants from a particular language group speak English to friends when they're not bonded by English. It's just not going to happen.

I have known a few couples who were forced to change their daily language for the sake of their DC. The consequence was a long adjustment period when they found not talking to each other at all was easier than using another language!

Hope this helps.

Christ, alemci. Do you really spend time and energy worrying that strangers might be talking about you?

a) they're almost certainly not
b) if they are, they're not worth worrying about

Alemci If the shop worker was speaking Welsh, would this be equally bad, or is it only when languages not indigenous to the UK are spoken that it upsets you?

I think it is rude if you are interacting with a customer regardless of nationality.