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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My friend kept dds money and used Tesco vouchers

791 replies

jammyjamjam · 03/09/2014 12:24

Hi, ds had inservice yesterday and a friend (a mum from school) offered to take her, her own dd and 2 others to an amusement park, entry fee was 25 pounds. When ds got back in the afternoon, we chatted about the day and it turns out the mum paid for my dd and the 2 other children with Tesco vouchers, ie, she had redeemed her Tesco points to pay for the 4 dcs and then kept 75 pounds form my dd and the 2 other dc. Surely she could have told us that this place took in Tesco vouchers and I could have used my own points and saved the money? I'm grateful that she took dd but surely she should have been upfront about her intention of using vouchers....AIBU?

OP posts:

Stealthpolarbear · 03/09/2014 14:05

" Add message | Report | Message poster LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Wed 03-Sep-14 13:46:40
So this lady took care of 3 children all day, took them for a fantastic day out, and ensured you had childcare for the day? I think £25 is fair for a days baby sitting and trip to a theme park."

Op may have reciprocated

HappyAgainOneDay · 03/09/2014 14:05

Yes, if you had relevant Tesco vouchers and your 'friend' could have used yours instead of hers, you were taken for a ride. I'd be suspicious of any future offer.

LiberalLibertines · 03/09/2014 14:07

Are you out of pocket? No, did you get to have a day to yourself? Yes, did your dc have a great time? Yes!

Could she have given you the option to do the same? Yes, and she probably should, but I wouldn't be that arsed about it.

happyyonisleepyyoni · 03/09/2014 14:08

Its a bit weird and does seem like a way to convert tesco vouchers into cash. If the other mum didn't want to pay for the girls she should have paid with the cash the parents gave her and just used tesco vouchers for her own kids.

RaRaSkirtsForever · 03/09/2014 14:08

In a similar sort of vein, a couple of years ago one of the mums at school had got one of the Sun newspaper caravan holidays for 6 and then charged members of her family the full brochure price for their place on the holiday. She had only paid £15 for the holiday plus whatever upgrade they had, but it was nowhere near the amount of cash she took off them.

I don't get it personally, it just seems wrong to me....

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 03/09/2014 14:10

Yes stealth she may well have.
What I am saying is I would take it on the chin, they agreed to pay that amount for the day before they went. I can see why OP is a bit annoyed as her friend seems to have done it in an unethical way, but ultimately I can see the other Mums side too.

FryOneFatManic · 03/09/2014 14:11

I think it seems wrong to me because:

OP says she had no childcare issues, so this was just a nice thing to do.

OP also said her DD had extra money for food, ice creams, etc.

So it looks to me as if the friend has made a profit at the expense of the other parents.

Infinity8 · 03/09/2014 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LiberalLibertines · 03/09/2014 14:14

RaRa to family? That's more grabby then the grabbiest wedding poem

Infinity8 · 03/09/2014 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GarlicAugustus · 03/09/2014 14:16

Another YABU.

You could have offered clubcard vouchers instead. You didn't, you gave her the £25. As long as she delivered what you paid for, no harm done. I kind of understand your feeling a bit peeved, but she hasn't ripped you off. Everyone got what they wanted - the definition of a good deal :)

irregularegular · 03/09/2014 14:16

I just bought five theatre tickets for a group of us who are going together. I used some theatre tokens I had which were worth roughly the same as two of the tickets. I thought I might as well just use them up rather then use half of them.

My friends will pay me for the cost of my ticket. It didn't occur to me to mention that I had used the theatre tokens or that they might have a problem with that.

Did I do wrong???

I really don't thinks so.

RaRaSkirtsForever · 03/09/2014 14:17

LL, my jaw dropped when I found out. Not as if they are short of a bob or two either ...

whatever5 · 03/09/2014 14:18

I suppose it depends on how you see the vouchers. I only use them for days out/theme parks. They are not "free" or a "bonus" as you have to do a fair amount of shopping to get them. If I used them for another child I would have to pay for an entrance ticket in the future as a result so to me they are worth the value of the entrance ticket and I wouldn't mind at all if someone did as OP's friend has done.

edamsavestheday · 03/09/2014 14:20

It's dishonest. She's charged you the full cash entrance price but that's not what she's paid, and she didn't tell you what she was doing, even though she knows you have Tesco points you could use. Multiply that by the other kids and she's done very nicely indeed.

I would be very wary of paying for anything where she's involved in future, and ask lots of questions to make sure I knew what was going on.

IF she had explained how it was organised, that would have been one thing. But she didn't, she just took your money - far more money than the entrance actually cost her.

Terrierterror · 03/09/2014 14:21

Seriously? She used the vouchers she earned, that she could have used on her shopping or to get the 3/4 x face value on meals out for her family etc, for your DC and you're pissed off? It's up to her to inform you about supermarket loyalty card deals (and know which supermarket you use)!

You could have said no thank you. You could have looked for money off vouchers. You child got exactly what you payed for.

Merrylegs · 03/09/2014 14:23

I am impressed that your dc was savvy enough to notice how the mum was paying. Did she tell the kids that's what she was doing? Was your dc standing close enough to see the whole transaction? Is there any way they could have misunderstood?

NoWayYesWay · 03/09/2014 14:24

YANBU. I think she was being sneaky. I would tell her you hadn't realised she was using Tesco points and that you would prefer to have your cash back and to reimburse her with points as you would prefer the cash. If her intentions were innocent then she won't mind at all.

No one actually pays full admission prices for most amusement parks do they? Surely most people only go with 2 for 1 offers at the very least.

DamnBamboo · 03/09/2014 14:24

YABU.
She took your daughter out for the day and charged you the going rate to get in.

You could of course have checked yourself to see if you could have ordered vouchers for your DD.

Point being is that presumably you knew where your DD was going, so why didn't you go and see if Tesco vouchers were an option and then order them yourself. If you only found out shortly before you she was going, then the vouchers weren't an option anyway.

I can't believe the things people moan about on here.

murphys · 03/09/2014 14:24

OP I cannot see if you said, but did she tell you herself that she had used her points. In what manner did she tell you, in a 'by the way did you know you could spend them there' kind of way or did it appear that she had done it sneakily. If it was intended in the latter, then I doubt she would have said anything directly to you.

Your dd had a nice day out which would have cost you more if you had taken her, so I wouldn't put too much thought in it. Its not worth spoiling a friendship over.

Tinpin · 03/09/2014 14:25

There is the possibility that she only paid for her and her daughters tickets with Tesco vouchers and used money for the rest of the group.

bakingaddict · 03/09/2014 14:27

But they are free and a bonus. You have entered into a transaction with Tesco for goods but you cannot simply buy these points without making an initial purchase for something else so effectively they are something you are getting for nothing.

I guess it depends on how much you value your friends, whether you do things simply as a nice gesture or look at ways to recoup your own costs and more

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 03/09/2014 14:30

I don't pay friends when they offer to have the kids for a couple of hours or day or whatever. And neither do they when I have their kids. I can't believe people are excusing this on the basis of it being free childcare. To all those saying that "she could have used the vouchers for something else so it's ok", why didn't she? If it made no difference to her then she could have just used a voucher for her own kid and used the money which had been given to her for the use it was intended. It is blatant that the reason she used the vouchers was because it gave her a good deal. It's sneaky money grabbing and no way would I be happy about it in the OPs position. It's not 'off' it's just wrong.

DoJo · 03/09/2014 14:32

If you had asked her and she had said that you couldn't use vouchers, then I would agree with you, but she has effectively used £25 worth of vouchers for your child to go to the theme park that she could have used on her own child/family. The cash might have more uses, but she would no doubt have used the vouchers on her own family (probably at the quadruple rate for £25 worth of stuff) had she not taken your child to the theme park, so she still 'paid' for the entry.
The fact that the vouchers are only worth £6.50 if you spend them in Tesco is a bit of a red herring. She obviously knows how to maximise them so I can't imagine that she would have used them for only £6.50 worth of goods or services either way.
I do understand what you're saying, and I can see why you feel aggrieved, but I don't think she's done anything wrong. Put it this way - if you had offered £6.50 for the points and she had said 'Oh no, it's not worth it to me as I can use those vouchers to take my child for free another time' would you have still thought she was unreasonable?

Terrierterror · 03/09/2014 14:33

They are given to keep people using that shop, not randomly handed out to passers by and the number you get is directly linked to what you spend. They have a face value (£2.50) and a value of up to 4x that in some restaurants and attractions. If the OP had said her friend offered to take her child for free and them charged her, that would be unfair. As it is, the friend offered simply to take the child to the theme park.

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