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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend kept dds money and used Tesco vouchers

791 replies

jammyjamjam · 03/09/2014 12:24

Hi, ds had inservice yesterday and a friend (a mum from school) offered to take her, her own dd and 2 others to an amusement park, entry fee was 25 pounds. When ds got back in the afternoon, we chatted about the day and it turns out the mum paid for my dd and the 2 other children with Tesco vouchers, ie, she had redeemed her Tesco points to pay for the 4 dcs and then kept 75 pounds form my dd and the 2 other dc. Surely she could have told us that this place took in Tesco vouchers and I could have used my own points and saved the money? I'm grateful that she took dd but surely she should have been upfront about her intention of using vouchers....AIBU?

OP posts:
NewEraNewMindset · 03/09/2014 13:08

*or else

rainbowinmyroom · 03/09/2014 13:11

It's sneaky. I would not have asked for the full whack if it was not £25 equivalent in vouchers.

SamG76 · 03/09/2014 13:12

When I last used tesco points a couple of years ago, I had to send them off in advance to get a chitty that I gave in at the ticket booth, so the points couldn't be instantly redeemed. Has that been changed? If not, you would have had to redeem the points a couple of weeks before.

In any event, I think YABU because you could have offered the tesco vouchers if you had thought about it. If I'd been in her position, I would probably have asked for £20 and not the full amount, but I still don't think she is out of order.

youmakemydreams · 03/09/2014 13:12

Yanbu yes she spent money in tesco to get the vouchers but I'm assuming like me she goes to tesco to buy food and would have spent that money anyway. I doubt she goes to tesco just to get the the vouchers for theme parks.

Also like it has been pointed out the voucher boost is on just now so your club card vouchers are worth 4x the amount for days out. Ie. a fortnight ago I converted £10 of tesco club card vouchers into £40 of days out vouchers.
So she has converted vouchers for shopping she has done anyway whether the op's child went or not into days out vouchers worth a quarter of the entrance fee into the full entrance few then charged op full price Shock
Sorry but I wouldn't be able to
Avoid saying something. The op sent spending money too so she has made a tidy profit on each person even if you subtracted the tesco voucher from what she asked for.

MaryWestmacott · 03/09/2014 13:13

V sneeky if she only used £6.25 of club card vouchers! If she'd told you that what she was planning to do, I'm sure you would have either bought the tickets yourself for £6.25 of your vouchers or been a bit Hmm at her wanting £25 from you in order to buy something with vouchers for £6.25! If she'd got a "buy one, get one free" tickets, you'd expect her to just count each ticket at £12.50, not say "well, I bought your child's ticket at £25 and mine got in for free."

I would be so embarrassed to take £25 off another parent to take their DCs on an outing that cost me £6.25. If she wanted paying for the day, then she should have been upfront about it.

She's shown you who she is now, i'm be very wary of her. This didn't really cost you more than it would have done had she not done the deal, but she was sneeky in a way to make money out of you, she clearly has rather a relaxed moral code when it comes to other people's money. This isn't someone you can trust, at least you've found out in a way that's not cost you more than you were prepared to pay for this day out.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 03/09/2014 13:17

It's effectively an offer on the entry price isn't it. I see it as no different to if she had 2 for 1 tickets, but still expected you to give her the full entry fee.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 03/09/2014 13:17

x-post with MaryWestmacott who said the same.

AgaPanthers · 03/09/2014 13:18

It is cheeky, because the vouchers are not worth £25, they tend to go for about half face value on ebay. I think you should have paid half.

Lweji · 03/09/2014 13:19

Except in store shed have used £25 worth of points to get £25 worth of ticket. In this case she only needed £6.25 of vouchers. She's effectively sold her vouchers to the other parents at 4x face value.

OK, but the OP also uses her vouchers in similar proportions, apparently, when having meals out.

Or this friend, could have used the vouchers elsewhere too.

I don't think the OP necessarily lost or the friend necessarily gained much.

I do think the onus is on you to know where you can spend your vouchers.

AgaPanthers · 03/09/2014 13:20

MaryWestmacott, the vouchers are worth more than £6.25 (which is what they are worth in store), but not as much as £25 (which is what you can get them on theme park admissions, except that the theme parks usually have money off anyway).

Only1scoop · 03/09/2014 13:20

I'm starting to change my mind now I'm seeing its 6.25 worth.

And that she would have had to pre ordered them

Hhhmmmm Op.... I'm sort of seeing where you are coming from.

IntheYear2525 · 03/09/2014 13:23

If someone had taken my DC out for the day and I was happy to spend the £25 then I wouldn't really mind about her using Tesco vouchers. Your DS got what you were expecting him to get for the money you spent, it's not as though she took the money and then took them to a playground in a park instead. He wouldn't have enjoyed it any more if the tickets had been purchased for cash instead of vouchers.

Perhaps the other mum might have mentioned to you that vouchers could be used, but perhaps she just didn't think of it at the time. Your financial arrangements aren't her responsibility and there was nothing at all to stop you from finding out whether you could use vouchers and giving those to her instead of cash.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 03/09/2014 13:26

£50 for £110 of days out vouchers

Original poster
jammyjamjam · 03/09/2014 13:27

I did wonder whether I was being especially sensitive but it sounds like a lot of you agree with me, she's definitely taken me and the other parents for a bit of a ride!

OP posts:
Jayne35 · 03/09/2014 13:29

I can see it from both sides OP, yes she should have told you BUT you could have swapped your own Tesco vouchers in advance for your DDs entry to the park. Also, depending on where she lives petrol could be lots. It would cost me probably £30-40 to get my closest theme park so the cash may have gone towards petrol.

People keep saying it was only £6.25 worth of Tesco vouchers but even that much takes a while to build up and I normally exchange my £5.00 for £20.00 at Pizza Express or Prezzo, so OPs friend has used all her vouchers which she would probably normally use on her own family treats.

naty1 · 03/09/2014 13:29

But then using her own she cant spend on another trip to park with her own child effectively costing her the £25.
If you had taken dd you would have paid £25 or more entrance for you plus fuel etc.

I would be surprised if you could pay for a group of kids with different clubcard vouchers

Often you have to do this in advance so it would have been a lot of hassle getting each mum to do this and remember to hand over .
Plus the mum taking is taking a risk in case any of the kids cancel.

WhatWitchcraftIsThis · 03/09/2014 13:32

I wouldn't have spent a day at an amusement park with 3 people's children for 75 pound..so YABU>

whatever5 · 03/09/2014 13:36

Although it's not something I would do, I can't see what she did that was so wrong. The club card vouchers are worth £25 not £6.25 if they will get you into a theme park where tickets normally cost £25!

OP, there was nothing to stop you using vouchers for your own child if that is what you wanted to do OP. You would have had to organise it in advance though (they normally take a couple of weeks to arrive in my experience).

Bogeyface · 03/09/2014 13:38

Logically she has done nothing wrong in that the trip cost you the same either way but it feels wrong. Its profitting from friends and thats not something I would ever feel comfortable doing.

If she was open about it and gave you the choice of using your own vouchers or even mentioned that she was going to use her own it wouldnt be so bad, but the fact that she kept quiet about it tells me that she knows it was underhand.

The fact is that she used you and the other parents to exchange £20 of vouchers into £75 cash, and I would feel very differently about her for doing this.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 03/09/2014 13:46

So this lady took care of 3 children all day, took them for a fantastic day out, and ensured you had childcare for the day? I think £25 is fair for a days baby sitting and trip to a theme park.

AgaPanthers · 03/09/2014 13:50

it wasn't babysitting, it was a day out with friends. Do you charge babysitting fees when you invite kids to birthday parties?

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 03/09/2014 13:55

No, but I don't have them all day without their parents there. It was agreed they would all pay £25 for the day out, so if I was OP I would take it on the chin.

Floggingmolly · 03/09/2014 13:59

She's a miserable cow. That is indescribably tacky.

Notso · 03/09/2014 14:01

DH took DD, DS1 and four friends to a theme park. He used our Merlin passes for him and our DC and clubcard points for the others.
All the friends parents offered money for entrance but he said no because it didn't cost us anything.
I think it's really cheeky to pocket the money, clubcard points are a bonus, it's not like using your own money.

alemci · 03/09/2014 14:05

I think that is mean spirited of her and dishonest.