My friend kept dds money and used Tesco vouchers

[jammyjamjam]

Hi, ds had inservice yesterday and a friend (a mum from school) offered to take her, her own dd and 2 others to an amusement park, entry fee was 25 pounds. When ds got back in the afternoon, we chatted about the day and it turns out the mum paid for my dd and the 2 other children with Tesco vouchers, ie, she had redeemed her Tesco points to pay for the 4 dcs and then kept 75 pounds form my dd and the 2 other dc. Surely she could have told us that this place took in Tesco vouchers and I could have used my own points and saved the money? I'm grateful that she took dd but surely she should have been upfront about her intention of using vouchers....AIBU?

If I picked up a t shirt for a friend at Tesco and she gave me the money for it, I wouldn't mention if I used the M&S voucher I got for my birthday that I used, not cos I was "pulling a fast one" but because i wouldn't see a difference.

If she'd said in advance, "oh, I'm going to use Tesco points, but I'll have to use my own for your DCs cos they're not transferable, you can give me the cash," what would you have said, OP?

ABland the OP suggested earlier that she should only have to pay £20 rather £25 in the scenario you describe above.

You wouldn't use an M&S voucher at Tesco, and M&S vouchers cost their face value - £10 = £10. Tesco Clubcard vouchers OTOH, £2.50 = £10

I would like to know the answer to blandanddeadly's question and also how sure you are that your dd / ds (you use both in your original post) got the right end of the stick about vouchers vs cash for all 6 tickets?

Maybe she used cash for the other tickets and only vouchers for her and her dd. I can't imagine my kids either noticing or later commenting on it.

Also, if the other mum knew she was being sneaky, surely she would have hidden the payment method from your kid. I think you've just got to let this one go and try for your own sake to give her the benefit of the doubt.

You weren't there and unless you ask her can't know for sure.

5 tickets

But,
OP,
will
you
invite
your
friend
for
a
meal,
and
use
your
vouchers
and
charge
her
only
£6.25
for
a
£25
worth
meal?

But why should the maligned friend use her vouchers, which give her 4* cash value (albeit in a few select places) to subsidise the costs for the OPs child.

Why should the OP lose out on circa £18 worth of vouchers for pizza express so OP can send her daughter cheaply?
She shouldn't have to and she chose not to.

I would not care if a friend of mine this.

OPs ex friend that should have said at the start of the second para

People are confusing cost and worth.

£25 of vouchers only cost £6.25 (give or take) in clubcard vouchers to maligned friend but are worth £25.

If she can buy goods totaling £25 - then that is what they are worth to her.

Quite, Damn, re worth.

Re £20 vs £25 - well, if OP had offered that, maybe friend would've declined as she can get £25 of value out of the vouchers some other time. We'll never know ...

"But why should the maligned friend use her vouchers, which give her 4* cash value (albeit in a few select places) to subsidise the costs for the OPs child."

She shouldn't. She should use the money she has been given to pay for the ticket. Or, as would happen in a sane world:
"Does your DD want to come along to the theme park?"
"Yes please, that would be great."
"Cool. There's a good deal with Tesco vouchers if you've got any, otherwise it's £25. I've got some spare vouchers but don't want to take advantage, how much do you think is fair?"

Nothing less than the £25 of goods she can pay for with them (even if used in another location) is fair because then friend is subsiding OP.

Exactly, Damn

She shouldn't. She should use the money she has been given to pay for the ticket. Or, as would happen in a sane world

It makes no difference. The OPs child still gets in and either the friend or the theme park gets £25, and OP is still £25 down. Unless she gets her own vouchers

Well I disagree, but the point is that at least the friend would be honest and open about it. And if she thought they were worth £25 she could say so. If the OP disagreed she could likewise say so. Instead it appears the friend has been underhand.

OK. I've missed a whole chunk here, but I'm back with my theatre tokens.

First, I did exchange them pound for pound, so I'm not a 'skank' according to someone's (can't remember who) definition. £20 theatre tokens for £20 ticket, roughly.

Now I've got that out of the way...

Suppose instead of taking my tokens to the theatre, I took them to Tesco to spend there. Do you know how much they would have been worth? Nothing. Zilch. So clearly the value of my tokens is zero so I am a much bigger skank than the amusement mark woman as I should have charged my friend nothing at all.

Basically, there is no 'true' value of vouchers, tesco points etc. It depends on the "opportunity cost" for each person. If this woman would have used for points for another themepark then the opportunity cost/value is £25. If she would have used them in Tesco it is £6.25. But most of you say that you don't use them in Tesco, so probably £25 is right and this woman did nothing wrong.

And if I hadn't used the theatre tokens now I would use them later, so the value is £25. But not if they were about to expire.

Having said all that, if I was just buying the ticket for one friend with my voucher I would probably have mentioned it (but been very surprised if she thought she should have it for free). Because I was buying tickets for five of us and only had two tickets worth of vouchers I didn't bother mentioning it.

And I'll ask again (yes it was a few pages back), if she had bought the vouchers from ebay would it make a difference to how you view it?

Honest and open about what?

THEY ARE WORTH £25.

WHAT DON'T PEOPLE GET ABOUT THAT.

MAYBE ONLY IN PIZZA EXPRESS OR WHEREVER, BUT THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE WORTH TO HER. WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO DISCUSS THIS WITH ANYONE?

Sorry, caps lock stuck.
Not shouting.

The ebay question is ridiculous?

I refer you back to cost and worth.

If she got £25 worth of vouchers for free, given to her... what then? She's not allowed to use them because she didn't pay for them and can't buy gifts with them?

If someone got a deal on ebay and could get in somewhere for £25 and managed to get it for half price - good for them!

Not shouting.

Shame.

The OP is under no obligation to pass any freebies, discounts or otherwise to another person if they are rightfully hers.

Be they given, bought at a discount or otherwise.

If I get a free car given to me, but can't use it but my friend wants to buy it, should I give it to her for free because I didn't pay anything?

Did you pay anything above the cost of the amusement park, or will you repay her with a whole day of free childcare? Or did you give her a bottle of wine or bunch of flowers or something to thank her?

If not, then really yanbu to worry about the voucher thing. If however it is yes to my question above, then yanbu as it would be a bit cheeky.

The OP did give the friend a bottle of wine.

OP said she gave wine -and spending money.

"OPs child still gets in and either the friend or the theme park gets £25, and OP is still £25 down"

This x 1000