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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend kept dds money and used Tesco vouchers

791 replies

jammyjamjam · 03/09/2014 12:24

Hi, ds had inservice yesterday and a friend (a mum from school) offered to take her, her own dd and 2 others to an amusement park, entry fee was 25 pounds. When ds got back in the afternoon, we chatted about the day and it turns out the mum paid for my dd and the 2 other children with Tesco vouchers, ie, she had redeemed her Tesco points to pay for the 4 dcs and then kept 75 pounds form my dd and the 2 other dc. Surely she could have told us that this place took in Tesco vouchers and I could have used my own points and saved the money? I'm grateful that she took dd but surely she should have been upfront about her intention of using vouchers....AIBU?

OP posts:
whatever5 · 04/09/2014 14:16

Really? So if you had the option of £100 voucher to spend in Tesco, or £100 cash, you would still take the voucher? Even though if you took the cash, you could buy the voucher for £50?

I would prefer the voucher. If you took the 100 pound Tesco clubcard voucher you could get 200 pounds off goods in Tesco. I'm not sure why anyone would sell a 100 pound voucher for 50 pounds (unless they got it fraudulently as has happened recently).

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 04/09/2014 14:18

It's not about the OP making savings, it's about the friend using the OP's money to make more out of her vouchers than they would be worth in cash.

If the friend had said, "Oh I was going to use my vouchers to pay, you OK with that?" Then the OP could have said that's OK, or that it wasn't or that she wanted to use her own voucher. It is her money, and her right to decide how it is used. It is 'tough titties' when a tradesman rips you off. When a friend does it is somewhat different. But given this thread lots of people seem more than happy to use their friends in this way.

Notso · 04/09/2014 14:18

...the points are their payment to us...

Which surely would imply they are some sort of bonus.

queensansastark · 04/09/2014 14:18

The friend made a simple, logical economically rational decision, choose to be petty and judge it as her deliberately ripping you off at the price (no pun intended) you value your friendship at.

whatever5 · 04/09/2014 14:36

It seems to me that the OP is just looking for an excuse to be annoyed with her friend because she hasn't had the common sense to check for herself whether she could use vouchers. Also, people keep saying that the friend would have used 6.25 vouchers to gain entry but they don't know that. The one by me charges 25 pounds cash entrance or 10.50 in club card vouchers (equivalent to 21 pounds off in Tescos).

Original poster
jammyjamjam · 04/09/2014 14:38

I'm getting sucked in again. Just got back from walking the dogs and we're still going strong!
Malmo...the other friend who confirmed that the other mum had used the vouchers just pulled an awkward face and we left it at that. There was no need for either of us to elaborate

whatthatcoming...glad you're still on my side, but as Infinity puts it, it's obvious that we're all very divided on this. But I do wonder if my friend really did think nothing of it, because if she did she would have mentioned the vouchers when she took my money. Or she would have mentioned that she was exchanging points to for the entrance fee. The fact that she's kept it to herself can only mean that she thought she was pulling a fast one on me and the other 2 mums, that's for sure.

OP posts:
queensansastark · 04/09/2014 14:46

So unfriendly her....simples.

queensansastark · 04/09/2014 14:46

Unfriend...or is it defriend?

middlethird · 04/09/2014 14:58

I think it's cheeky. I would have said, so I'll be redeeming the vouchers but, a contribution would be great?

And I don't agree with this She hasn't made a profit. The vouchers she used are worth £25 at that particular theme park

She has made a profit. She's binned the 'cash'. The vouchers can't be redeeeeeeemed in cash (and wouldn't amount to £25). So she has made a financial gain by doing this.

She'll use that money on a coat from French Connection - for example - can't use the clubcard vouchers on that now can she?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 04/09/2014 15:03

middlethird - I think you're right OP and friend should have agreed between them what a fair value would be. Maybe a bit more than the £6.25 face value but less than the full £25 cash value. That would have given the OP the chance to say, actually I have voucher too so I'll use mine.

Jammy - You can probably tell I think she's ripped you off. Not sure what you can do about it if you want to remain friends :(

Bouttimeforwine · 04/09/2014 15:09

kitty I think you're bang on the nail there.

The fact that she's kept it to herself can only mean that she thought she was pulling a fast one on me and the other 2 mums, that's for sure.

or she thought it so unimportant and irrelevant that it didn't cross her mind. If she did it in front of the other friend then she wasn't being very secretive was she?

middlethird · 04/09/2014 15:11

Jammy I'd call her on it. I would. It's cheeky and she needs to know it's not socially acceptable to do stuff like that. Friends just don't do that sort of shit. And she knows it - otherwise her intention would have been transparant from the off.

IMO

Bouttimeforwine · 04/09/2014 15:12

I think it's cheeky. I would have said, so I'll be redeeming the vouchers but, a contribution would be great?

That's ok if she could afford/wanted to subsidise the op.

edamsavestheday · 04/09/2014 15:14

I wonder whether all the people who claim to see no problem with this have a group of seething acquaintances behind them, who keep swearing blind that they are NOT going out for a meal with them ever again after the way they acted when divvying up the bill...

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 04/09/2014 15:18

Edam - I think you might have a point there.

queensansastark · 04/09/2014 15:20

No, I don't even count mention the difference when splitting bills equally and I end up over paying or underpaying....it's a ' don't mention it' thing between friends. I don't keep score of what I lose or profit from friendships, where do you draw the line when as fiends you are doing things for or with each other all the time.

rainbowinmyroom · 04/09/2014 15:20

Yes, edam, the people who think nothing of this are the subject of many 'My friend is a cheeky cow thread.

supergreenuk · 04/09/2014 15:24

What was stopping using your Tesco vouchers in the first place? I don't see the problem.

Jayne35 · 04/09/2014 15:29

I don't see a problem, certainly not one worth losing friends over (unless they are just an acquaintance - in which case, who cares).

I'm sure I'm not a 'cheeky cow' either, I have lost out loads on meals out by splitting the bill equally but would never mention, I'm sure there have been occasions where friends have too, so swings and roundabouts.

OP swap your own vouchers and use to pay for friends DCs day out and charge friend going rate - sorted! Grin

DamnBamboo · 04/09/2014 15:38

Oh god!
So because some people think the OP is making a fuss, they must be tight!

You've got to laugh at the utter lack of reasoning behind this.

I think if you actually think about this (not too hard mind!) the people who are saying this is ok, are the ones who wouldn't mind if they were the OP.

Thus making them not as concerned and arguably more generous than the ones who are saying it's cheeky and that the OP has been ripped off!

CromerSutra · 04/09/2014 15:48

Sorry, have only read part of TFT! Anyway, I instinctively feel she was cheeky to do that. She made a profit from you and that isn't nice. Someone used an example of a person using a discount voucher at a restaurant after you have paid your share, yes, that's wrong too IMHO.

However, I would refrain from making a fuss about it because she did take your dd out for the day somewhere lovely. It would still make me a bit wary though.

DoJo · 04/09/2014 15:50

Personally it seems like either:

She didn't think there was anything wrong with what she was doing and the only reason she didn't mention it to the OP was because it didn't cross her mind that it would annoy her - I can't see a problem with this.

She is short of cash and saw a way to convert some Tesco vouchers into ready money without anyone losing out, and she didn't mention it to the OP because she's embarrassed - I would be glad that a friend managed to do something like this that worked to her advantage, and the fact she took my child out for the day too would be a bonus!

She is a scheming person who really couldn't come up with a way to make £50 without spending an entire day at a theme park with four children - she's a bad person, but her impoverished personality has lead to the OP and two other parents getting a child-free day for less than what it would have cost them to take their own children to the theme park.

None of these situations seems that bad to me - either she was trying to rip the OP off and made a fairly poor job of it or she wasn't and there's no harm done.

MissBattleaxe · 04/09/2014 15:53

I wonder whether all the people who claim to see no problem with this have a group of seething acquaintances behind them, who keep swearing blind that they are NOT going out for a meal with them ever again after the way they acted when divvying up the bill...

No. And that's pretty insulting to the people who don't think it was cheeky.

duchesse · 04/09/2014 15:53

Friend could have spent those vouchers on anything, so I think it is fair enough to keep the money if she spent the points on park entries rather than groceries. It's still purchase power- she still had to spend the money at Tesco in the first place.

MissBattleaxe · 04/09/2014 15:57

I don't think she was pulling a fast one. I think she was a bit broke and bit embarrassed. She also did you a massive favour OP. I still think you had a bargain for 25 quid.