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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend kept dds money and used Tesco vouchers

791 replies

jammyjamjam · 03/09/2014 12:24

Hi, ds had inservice yesterday and a friend (a mum from school) offered to take her, her own dd and 2 others to an amusement park, entry fee was 25 pounds. When ds got back in the afternoon, we chatted about the day and it turns out the mum paid for my dd and the 2 other children with Tesco vouchers, ie, she had redeemed her Tesco points to pay for the 4 dcs and then kept 75 pounds form my dd and the 2 other dc. Surely she could have told us that this place took in Tesco vouchers and I could have used my own points and saved the money? I'm grateful that she took dd but surely she should have been upfront about her intention of using vouchers....AIBU?

OP posts:
GummiberryJuice · 04/09/2014 11:59

Flip side I have a 2.50 voucher that will get you £20 off pizza express I would never dream of asking my friend for £20 for it. I wouldn't even ask for the 2.50 to be honest.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 04/09/2014 11:59

If you got a 'cardholders privilege' to buy an M&S voucher worth £25 for £6.50 would you do it?

Yes.

Then you go shopping, your friend wants to buy something and you say 'Hey, I've got an M&S voucher for £25, I'd rather have the cash so I can buy something at Next'

Would you expect her to give you £6.26 or £25?

?

Lweji · 04/09/2014 11:59

my friend used a voucher worth 6.25 for my dd and I gave her 25 pounds. She did the same for 2 other children so she ended the day with 75 pounds.

Well, she really only ended up with 50, as the voucher had "cost" her 6.25.

But it was worth 25 to her, as she could have redeemed it for another thing worth £25.
I would only sell a voucher for less than that if I was not going to use it anyway.
Who knows if she wanted to use the voucher or not?

My question to you, OP, is, though:
would you use your vouchers to give your friend a cheaper meal for her?

Bouttimeforwine · 04/09/2014 12:00

I'm a good enough friend that I would encourage them to do this. I would not expect said friend, to subsidise me by using her vouchers on my child, and me giving her less than than the £25. I would also not put my friend in the awkward position of sending my own voucher in, and it potentially being rejected because it is in a different name.

I'm a good friend because it would help my friend out by giving her more flexibility, and it requires no effort or cost to me, to do so.

If you resent a friend doing this, then you are a very petty friend indeed.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 04/09/2014 12:00

"No, she used a voucher worth £25. She could have spent that £25 voucher elsewhere."

Nope, not worth £25. It is worth a certain amount of food in a restaurant, or entry to a theme park. But in cash it is not worth anything like £25.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 04/09/2014 12:00

Gummiberry - but what if that £20 'off' could come off of your next weekly shop or petrol or taking the kids elsewhere?

It's one thing to give it away if you can't use it yourself, quite another if you can.

Lweji · 04/09/2014 12:00

I would not expect said friend, to subsidise me by using her vouchers on my child, and me giving her less than than the £25.
This

Lweji · 04/09/2014 12:01

But in cash it is not worth anything like £25.

It is because you can use it to purchase something that otherwise would cost £25.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 04/09/2014 12:03

whatsthat

That's like saying pounds stirling will only buy you xyz in the UK so they aren't actually worth much because they can't buy you anything in Australia.

ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy · 04/09/2014 12:04

There isn't a fair option here where OP pays less than £25.

Either the friend gets the £25 in exchange for admission to the park or the park owners do.

Original poster
jammyjamjam · 04/09/2014 12:07

This thread is like the Friend's episode when Ross keeps saying "we were on a break!'
I've read every response and I'm happy to say that I really feel that I'm NOT BU
Some of you say the voucher is worth the same as the 25 pounds. If that were the case, why didn't she pay with the cash I'd given her? Why did she choose to keep the cash and pay with her vouchers? Because her vouchers were FREE. She paid no money for them and she calculatingly (is that a real word?) ordered vouchers for the 3 other kids and pocketed their 75 pounds. End of, that's what happened. No matter how you look at it, she was wrong. Her vouchers were not worth 25 pounds but she charged me as if they were 25 pounds. She could have let me know about getting vouchers so I could have made a saving but instead she chose to earn a profit for herself. That is really not a nice thing to do, no matter how you look at it

OP posts:
LatteLoverLovesLattes · 04/09/2014 12:07

I have to go out now - I haven't actually killed myself by bashing my head against a brick wall - like Arnie said 'I'll be baaaaaaaaaaaaack' (tonight).

Ghoul - It's the big end.

Original poster
jammyjamjam · 04/09/2014 12:09

so have I.....big end for me...thanks all btw x

OP posts:
Bouttimeforwine · 04/09/2014 12:09

Op, you've not listened to a thing we've said. I'm not sure how bright you are. Sorry.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 04/09/2014 12:10

No Jam that's how you are choosing to see it. It really does make life hard work choosing to see the worst in people you know.

Original poster
jammyjamjam · 04/09/2014 12:11

bouttime.....quite bright actually..I could list all my postgraduate qualifications but that would be crass ;)

OP posts:
queensansastark · 04/09/2014 12:11

OP you might have read every response but it really doesn't seem like you comprehended the other side of the discussion then decide to disagree...it seems you only ignored it or is somehow blinded not to see it.

Lweji · 04/09/2014 12:12

She could have let me know about getting vouchers so I could have made a saving

Take some responsibility for knowing or checking where you can use your vouchers, for fucks sake.
At least that.

Bouttimeforwine · 04/09/2014 12:12

There is a difference between intelligence and emotional intelligence.

Lweji · 04/09/2014 12:13

I know people with post grad qualifications who are not that bright, actually.
At least with very little common sense.

I am arguing the opposite of you and have a few qualifications myself. What does that mean?

queensansastark · 04/09/2014 12:16

I'll be crass and declare that I have two Master degrees, and I suspect I'm borderline aspergers too which apparently makes my EI low.

Bouttimeforwine · 04/09/2014 12:17

I do t want this to become a slanging match. Sorry.

But

OP you might have read every response but it really doesn't seem like you comprehended the other side of the discussion then decided to disagree...it seems you only ignored it or is somehow blinded not to see it.

This

Lweji · 04/09/2014 12:17

And you still haven't answered the question about what you would do.
Will you invite your friend to a meal out, pay with vouchers and ask her for the reduced amount they cost you?
Will you pass on the savings you got to treat your friend?
Or just enjoy the savings with your family?
Truthfully.

Lweji · 04/09/2014 12:21

Bout

I think the OP just wanted people to say what a bitch the friend was, and not actually have a different opinion to her.
Fair enough. Next time just say you want supportive replies.

But you asked if you were BU, and quite a few people said you were. As well as a few saying you weren't.
At the very least consider that there are differences of opinion on this and that your friend may not have felt she was being dishonest at all.

bedraggledmumoftwo · 04/09/2014 12:21

Definitely not free, but i wouldn't put a £25 value on them either. I agree your friend was being unreasonable not to tell you but i think you are over exaggerating your fury by comparing free with £25. At the absolute lowest it was 6.25 as she could have handed them over in store for her shopping instead of cash at that value. I don't think they are ever really worth 4x either, as the things you can get that rate on you can usually get half price anyway, eg through prezzo bogof or cereal packet vouchers for theme parks. Personally i would consider them to be worth 12.50. That is because of the above, plus they regularly have double up that covers essentials such as baby or back to school stuff, so you can generally get 2x value in store. And don't k ow if they still dp but you used to do 2x on train tickets through red spotted hanky, so as a commuter that is the value i place on them.

so yes, she was unreasonable to use £12.50 worth of vouchers and take £25, but not free or 6.25 in reality.