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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend kept dds money and used Tesco vouchers

791 replies

jammyjamjam · 03/09/2014 12:24

Hi, ds had inservice yesterday and a friend (a mum from school) offered to take her, her own dd and 2 others to an amusement park, entry fee was 25 pounds. When ds got back in the afternoon, we chatted about the day and it turns out the mum paid for my dd and the 2 other children with Tesco vouchers, ie, she had redeemed her Tesco points to pay for the 4 dcs and then kept 75 pounds form my dd and the 2 other dc. Surely she could have told us that this place took in Tesco vouchers and I could have used my own points and saved the money? I'm grateful that she took dd but surely she should have been upfront about her intention of using vouchers....AIBU?

OP posts:
Bouttimeforwine · 04/09/2014 12:24

At the very least consider that there are differences of opinion on this and that your friend may not have felt she was being dishonest at all.

This

bedraggledmumoftwo · 04/09/2014 12:25

Btw, i am an accountant. You need to think about the opportunity cost(eg what else she could have done with them) to decide their intrinsic value!

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 04/09/2014 12:25

So all of you who are saying this is all OK. If the friend had bought the vouchers off ebay for about half their supposed 'worth', would it be any different? If yes, why?

Bouttimeforwine · 04/09/2014 12:28

Yes it would be different because she would have profited then. Different situation entirely.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 04/09/2014 12:29

Why does it matter where the vouchers have come from?

mamalino · 04/09/2014 12:30

OP you've not answered my question about how the other friend, the one that was there, feels about it?

whatever5 · 04/09/2014 12:35

Where does the 6.25 price come from anyway? For the theme park nearest us you have to pay 10.25 in clubcard tokens. You could buy things in the shop for 20.50 with the same tokens.

KneeQuestion · 04/09/2014 12:47

mamalino, unless Ive missed it, I dont think there was another adult present, OP is apparently going on what her child told her of what happened.

DamnBamboo · 04/09/2014 13:03

OP, why have you posted if you don't think YANBU?

And where do you get this random figure of 'she should have only charged me £20'

Why if it's not ok to do what she did, is it ok to even charge you £20?

Notso · 04/09/2014 13:05

So it actually would have been ok for DH and I to take £184 for £50 of our points Shock

bedraggledmumoftwo · 04/09/2014 13:05

£6.25 is the face value of the vouchers that would have been exchanged (at 4x) for a £25 entry coupon.

WhatWitchcraftIsThis · 04/09/2014 13:06

Hope the op didn't use a voucher for the wine she bought the woman. Since that would render it valueless!

Fiddlerontheroof · 04/09/2014 13:10

To be honest, I'd be a bit pissed off. I've taken other peoples kids out on my tesco vouchers, but I've never taken money off them as well, that doesn't sit right with me.

I can see how perhaps money to cover the cost of lunch, drinks etc would be reasonable, but Tesco Vouchers are like a bonus in the first place really.

Really She should have used them for herself and her kids, and money for the other dc's, rather than using all her vouchers and pocketing the cash in my opinion.

DamnBamboo · 04/09/2014 13:11

It's up to you how you spend your point Notso.
But £50 worth of points, if you increased them via this boost measure would actually provide you with £200 for various activities, meals out etc.

Why would you deny yourself of that and give it to someone else to benefit from? Very generous if you do of course, but there should be no expectation there.

mewkins · 04/09/2014 13:13

I think she should have said something as it looks like she has offered to take the kids in order to get cash for the days out vouchers. I have tons of days out tokens as they were doing a 5x exchange value not long ago and we get all of our fuel from tesco so in effect get points for money we would have spent anyway.

DamnBamboo · 04/09/2014 13:13

I don't shop at Tesco. I am clearly missing out here.

Mandatorymongoose · 04/09/2014 13:15

Would it help to stop thinking of the vouchers as costing £6.25?

The vouchers actually cost 625 club card points (earned at a rate of 1 per £1 usually).

625 club card points have a value of between £6.25 and £25 depending on how they are used.

If you were a sensible sort you might want to maximise the value of the vouchers by only spending them on items where 625 points = £25. Giving the vouchers a value (to you) of £25.

I've already made this point on this very circular thread but I'll mention again. I think it's odd that you assume someone you call a friend who was doing something nice for several children was actually sneakily trying to defraud you in some way. It wouldn't even occur to me it was anything more than convenience for her - all done in one go rather than pissing about with vouchers for some, money for others.

Floggingmolly · 04/09/2014 13:20

Bedraggled, I'm an accountant too. The opportunity cost was roughly eighteen quids worth of Pizza Express crap one pizza, then, or a ticket into a theme park. She certainly couldn't have spent it on shoes...

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 04/09/2014 13:24

I'm making the mistake of coming back to this thread.

Those who think the friend was OK I take it you'd be equally happy for your employer to pay you in Tesco vouchers next month?

DamnBamboo · 04/09/2014 13:25

How is that the same ghoul?

Notso · 04/09/2014 13:29

Why would you deny yourself of that and give it to someone else to benefit from?
Because I am clearly amazing and generous Grin but seriously because I did benefit from it, my kids got a fantastic day out with their friends, that would have cost us a minimum of about £90+ in cash.

Your not missing out on anything DamnBamboo because according to other posters the vouchers are not a bonus or free.

If we boosted the vouchers I think we could only spend the money at Tesco not for meals out etc although most of the meal vouchers are £2.50 for a £10 voucher anyway.

Bouttimeforwine · 04/09/2014 13:29

Of course not - because of the flexibility. Thats why it was eminently sensible of the friend to take the opportunity to exchange them for cash at no cost to the op

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 04/09/2014 13:30

I think it was fine, that YABU and are making an absolute mountain out. Of a molehill.

Minot surprised that your friend thought this was such a non-issue, that she didn't mention it (though I suppose it would have been ideal if she had).

You could have thought of using vouchers yourself. I agree it's annoying when you miss an opp like this, but it's hardly your mate's fault.

DamnBamboo · 04/09/2014 13:32

Yes, but if I'm going to go to pizza express, I'd rather pay with vouchers (that I have boosted to 4 x their value) for shopping I was doing anyway.

From what I can see though, it does take some time to build these vouchers up.

And FWIW, I don't take money from my DCs friends parents when I take them out.

queensansastark · 04/09/2014 13:33

Did you buy your friend a bottle of wine from Tescos using vouchers then proceeded to tell your friend about it OP and go into an awkward circular discussion?