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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My friend kept dds money and used Tesco vouchers

791 replies

jammyjamjam · 03/09/2014 12:24

Hi, ds had inservice yesterday and a friend (a mum from school) offered to take her, her own dd and 2 others to an amusement park, entry fee was 25 pounds. When ds got back in the afternoon, we chatted about the day and it turns out the mum paid for my dd and the 2 other children with Tesco vouchers, ie, she had redeemed her Tesco points to pay for the 4 dcs and then kept 75 pounds form my dd and the 2 other dc. Surely she could have told us that this place took in Tesco vouchers and I could have used my own points and saved the money? I'm grateful that she took dd but surely she should have been upfront about her intention of using vouchers....AIBU?

OP posts:

Countyourchickens · 03/09/2014 19:32

I am

She offered to take your child to a park along with 3 others, only one of which was hers.

The cost is £25 per ticket.

You knew this and therefore provided the money to her.

She chose to pay with her Tesco vouchers instead and therefore kept your money.

Result = you had to spend £25 getting your child into a park to be looked after by someone else all day.

The alternative was she used your £25 and not the vouchers.

Result = you had to spend £25 getting your child into a park to be looked after by someone else all day.

Your gripe is that she should have told you that you could have paid with vouchers. So it wasn't enough that she looked after your child all day, got him/her there and back safely. Her priority whilst kindly taking 3 children that do not belong to her was to tell all the parents they could pay by vouchers.

YABU. And dare I say it. Entitled.

Thisismyfirsttime · 03/09/2014 19:59

Clubcard points are free! I have a Clubcard and use it whenever I'm in Tesco, I have a Tesco credit card with interest free 18mth deal where I get extra points for shopping in Tesco and use Tesco fuel on my Tesco cc which means I claim points on my diesel. I also make dh put his diesel on my cc and give me the cash. Which means I get even more points. I get at least £8 a month on my vouchers and the only things I go out of my way for are to buy fuel there. I put in at least £60 diesel and I used to go to the shell garage to get points on my Barclaycard. I could go to sainsbury's (which I usually do) and collect nectar points on whatever I happen to be spending in there or to Morrissions or M and S and get fuck all!
I would be annoyed if someone did this to me, but as pp have said you need to be sure she was using points for everyone and not just her and her dd. Even if she wasn't I wouldn't say anything but I would be annoyed!

AllBoxedUp · 03/09/2014 20:08

I think it's a little sneaky but not morally wrong. If you had used your vouchers you would have £25 less in vouchers to spend now on other days out. Do you think she needs the money? Are you hard up just now and does she know?

phantomnamechanger · 03/09/2014 20:24

Your child got a day out worth £25, that you were happy to pay £25 for, so I really do NOT see the problem.

Another example.

A friend asks me to go to the bank to get their DD some euros for a school trip. She has looked up the exchange rate and given me enough for £25 euro

I have 10 euro left over from my holidays. I give her that plus 15 euro from the bank and keep her "change". technically I have made a profit on the deal if I bought the euro at a better rate. But so what - friend gets what she expected at the price she expected to pay for it THAT was the deal.

Notso · 03/09/2014 20:36

If supermarkets didn't have points schemes then the food would be cheaper.
Some supermarkets don't have points schemes and are not in my experience any cheaper. It's a lot more than reward schemes ruling prices.
In any case I still think if Tesco has the best price the points are a bonus. If I had bought my items from anywhere else we couldn't have paid for DC's friends to go to the theme park.

HappyAgainOneDay · 03/09/2014 20:55

Half the time, Tesco vouchers are for things I'll never buy anyway so I suppose this is one way of using unwanted vouchers.

Liara · 03/09/2014 21:00

I am sure that the information that Tesco vouchers were a suitable form of payment would have been somewhere on the website of the amusement park (or of the Tesco vouchers).

If you wanted to pay with Tesco vouchers, you could have looked it up and sent your dd in with the right amount in vouchers.

She isn't your secretary as well as an unpaid childminding service, you know?

YABVU.

Morloth · 03/09/2014 21:17

I just don't understand the problem.

DifferentCountrySameShit · 03/09/2014 21:23

Maybe the friend does what I do - save up my clubcard points and convert them all in one go to days out vouchers to get the maximum value. The vouchers are accepted at many locations so I use them as and where over the holiday period but they are only valid for 6 months, perhaps your friend had days out vouchers left and just used them up, you were already happy to spend the £25...............

I wouldn't risk paying at an attraction with clubcard vouchers in different names because they can refuse them.

I think you are being unreasonable - she used tokens which were worth £25 to her, you spent £25.

theQuibbler · 03/09/2014 21:23

YANBU - that's particularly underhand and unethical. I don't know what you can do about it though aside from steer clear of her in the future now that you know the sort of values that she keeps.

I would be so embarrassed to carry out anything like that - it is honestly making me cringe.

whatever5 · 03/09/2014 21:40

Some supermarkets don't have points schemes and are not in my experience any cheaper.

Really? I think that Aldi and Lidl are cheaper than Tescos and they don't have point schemes do they?

SirChenjin · 03/09/2014 21:45

Nope, Aldi and Lidl don't have any sort of points scheme - and they are much cheaper than the other supermarkets.

Frogisatwat · 03/09/2014 21:46

Yabu. A child minder for the day costs me 40. Whether they go anywhere or not.

phantomnamechanger · 03/09/2014 21:46

loads of people don't have aldi/lidl near them though

SirChenjin · 03/09/2014 21:49

That's true - but they still don't have points schemes!

The friend isn't a childminder though, so you can't compare the 2 - and I'm willing to bet that the OP has reciprocated at some point.

SamG76 · 03/09/2014 21:53

Here's another example: you give DC 25 pounds to buy a toy. It just happens that friend who takes DC shopping has a pristine new version of the toy, received as an unwanted present, so takes the cash and gives your DC the toy. Have you lost out because the 2nd hand value of the toy was only a tender? I don't think so - you've got what you expected at the right price.

Lweji · 03/09/2014 21:53

There is also the point of view that you wanted to benefit from her saving her club card points while keeping yours to be spent at other things by yourself.

Would you use your points and invite her for dinner out and share the discount?
Or would you just go with your family?

Use your points as you want and let her use hers.

Lweji · 03/09/2014 21:57

And next time check carefully where you can use your points.
You could still have sent your DD with a voucher regardless of what your friend was going to do.

If she got vouchers counting on none of you sending vouchers for the park, it is dodgy, but strictly you haven't lost anything.

SirChenjin · 03/09/2014 21:58

Or...supposing you had a discount voucher for a restaurant. You and your friend go out for dinner. At the end of the meal you take her share of the bill, you go and pay. You use the voucher to reduce the cost of the meal, but you don't tell her. You pay the bill using the voucher, and you pocket the difference.

It's your voucher after all - and she's had a meal out at the cost she was willing to pay.

SirChenjin · 03/09/2014 21:59

Should have made that clear - I don't think that would be any more acceptable than the OPs friend doing what she did.

phantomnamechanger · 03/09/2014 22:11

why not though sirchen? The friend has had the exact meal they wanted at the price they wanted to pay for it! If the voucher was a freebie from the paper, that's one thing - the discount should have been shared. But if it was a reward token from the venue, or a birthday gift, with an actual monetary value, then why should the owner of the voucher NOT take the cash from the other person. They have still used their voucher which they can now no longer benefit from.

Too many people seem to be hung up about what the friend paid for the theme park entrance, not the face value of the ticket. In effect the mum taking them sold her friend a full price ticket to the venue. That is the price they expected to pay and is what they got. No dodgy dealing at all.

SirChenjin · 03/09/2014 22:16

Because you have not made it clear to your friend that this is what you are doing (major point), because you are not splitting the cost after the voucher is applied, because you are pocketing money under false pretences, and because you would be a deceitful person if you did.

The key point is that you would not be telling your friend for a reason - and that reason is to pocket her money. Which makes you a bit of a dick.

frenchfryaddict · 03/09/2014 22:43

My exh paid for me to take DD2 and her friend to a theme park in the summer. I'm absolutely gutted I never thought to use my clipboard vouchers. I will remember next time though !

MokunMokun · 03/09/2014 23:08

SamG76 Yes, I would be pretty pissed off about that. That's an awful thing to do.

If a friend had listed a like-new toy on EBay for 10 pounds but then heard I was heading into town to buy the same toy at a shop, so friend offered to take my child in for me, pocketed the 25 pounds I gave her and then gave my child the toy she had been selling. I'd think pretty poorly of her.

Surely a true friend would just charge the 10 pounds? That's what friends do, they pass on bargains. The OP's friend should have told her they could pay with Tesco vouchers, that would have been the right thing to do.

Reepits · 03/09/2014 23:14

Ungrateful and grabby.

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