Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend kept dds money and used Tesco vouchers

791 replies

jammyjamjam · 03/09/2014 12:24

Hi, ds had inservice yesterday and a friend (a mum from school) offered to take her, her own dd and 2 others to an amusement park, entry fee was 25 pounds. When ds got back in the afternoon, we chatted about the day and it turns out the mum paid for my dd and the 2 other children with Tesco vouchers, ie, she had redeemed her Tesco points to pay for the 4 dcs and then kept 75 pounds form my dd and the 2 other dc. Surely she could have told us that this place took in Tesco vouchers and I could have used my own points and saved the money? I'm grateful that she took dd but surely she should have been upfront about her intention of using vouchers....AIBU?

OP posts:
Mandatorymongoose · 04/09/2014 02:26

I wouldn't be bothered by this. So your friend swapped some points for vouchers. She could have swapped the same points for something of equal value just for her.

a) spend £75 on tickets and buy £75 of something else with vouchers.
b) spend voucher on tickets with a value of £75 have £75 in cash to buy something else.

Of course she might have used the vouchers for the tickets and then spent £75 on something not available with club card points - but you really have no idea if it's the case.

It seems fairer this way round than her spending £75 of vouchers and getting only the basic points value of £6 or whatever and then only being left with £18 cash to purchase something she could have bought with £75 of vouchers.

I hope that makes sense.

It probably just seemed like a good idea at the time 'ooh I could use my vouchers for this, may as well get everyone's' rather than being a plot to sneakily exchange club card points for one of their possible cash values.

SirChenjin · 04/09/2014 07:54

In which case she should have told the friends that's what she was planning to do/had done. But she didn't - because she knew it wasn't right. She used her vouchers and pocketed their cash instead of being up front with them.

whatever5 · 04/09/2014 08:09

Perhaps she didn't tell the OP what she was going to do as she knew that she was as illogical/irrational as some other people on this thread though and didn't feel like the having an irritating argument.

sashh · 04/09/2014 08:17

Did she charge you for petrol? Contribution towards running cost of her car?
Babysitting?

She looked after your dd didn't she? The kids had a good day. It was probably cheaper than getting in a babysitter and more fun.

fuzzpig · 04/09/2014 08:37

Haven't read whole thread but I'd say she should have asked for the amount of actual vouchers she used (before the 'boost' bit) so if it cost £12.50 in clubcard vouchers to get a child entry then she should have asked for that amount rather than £25

If it had been a giftcard or straight voucher then fine but the clubcard boost thing makes it different IMO

(Probably totally pointless/wrong post as we are 11 pages in but don't have time to read it til later!)

Original poster
jammyjamjam · 04/09/2014 08:40

Been reading all your comments and most of you think I'm NBU, which is great
I handed her the 25 pounds in the morning and she just took it and said thanks.....she knew at that point that she was going to use the vouchers and keep the cash as she had already exchanged the Tesco points but she didn't mention it to me. Why? Because she knew that it wasn't right, simple as that.

Will I tell her this? No, probably not, unless it comes up in conversation. dd had a lovely day, as did the other dcs and I'm grateful she took her. But in a way, I feel that she's taken advantage of me. She should have mentioned that I could exchange my vouchers for entrance tickets, she should have been upfront about this. She made a profit bt taking dd out for the day and that's just wrong, friends shouldn't think like that. I'm disappointed but it's not the end of the world! Things will carry on as they are but I'll definitely be watchful when money is concerned. Thanks for your input

OP posts:
WhatWitchcraftIsThis · 04/09/2014 08:50

You also saved your own enterence fee that you would have paid if you had taken your dc instead. You are annoyed that you see her making a profit because you think she should have taken your children and paid for them using her points. It seems really grabby. Personally I'd be pleased she took the kids and gave me day off but also that she was able to swap the vouchers for money as it's the same to me either way (I still have to pay) so she got something useful out of it.

It would be like if I asked a friend to buy me something and she had a gift certificate to the store as she rarely goes. I'd be happy to let her swap it for the cash for the favor (all the same to me) and also she gets more use out of the money. I wouldn't expect to not pay at all

whatever5 · 04/09/2014 08:55

jammyjamjam I'm not sure if you have read this thread properly if you think that most people think YANBU. I doubt that you could have used your vouchers as you weren't present and you're not meant to be able to pass them on to other people. Therefore what your friend did made no difference to you.

Mintyy · 04/09/2014 08:56

Interesting thread this one!

I am firmly in the YADNBU camp, too op.

Friend was cashing in big style. How can people possibly think its acceptable Confused.

The arguments about doing a kind thing, petrol money, not having to pay for childcare are all total red herrings and irrelevant.

If the host mum wanted petrol money she could have asked for a couple of quid off each parent, if that.

I find it really odd that people are saying they wouldn't mind if this happened to them!

Mintyy · 04/09/2014 08:59

sashh
Blimey, do you think its normal for a parent taking another child out for the day to ask for a "contribution to the running cost of her car"? Shock

Mintyy · 04/09/2014 09:01

frogisatwat
What the hell has the cost of a childminder near you got to do with anything?

SirChenjin · 04/09/2014 09:08

Mintyy - I suspect that it's more a case of some on here being quite happy to do similar to others as a way of making a sneaky few quid...

queensansastark · 04/09/2014 09:13

YABU

If it was me I wouldn't have minded.....even if she wasn't upfront about it, it's a but complicated to explain in detail anyway.....how would she have approached that conversation anyway? Tell you as a btw, or ask you for permission? Easier just not to go there.

whatever5 · 04/09/2014 09:14

Mintyy - I suspect that it's more a case of some on here being quite happy to do similar to others as a way of making a sneaky few quid...

Not at all. When I take my friend's children out I always pay for them. I just think that it is illogical to think that the OP's friend has done anything wrong considering that her actions did not effect the OP financially in any way and also her action meant that the OP's child had a nice day out.

queensansastark · 04/09/2014 09:14

What I mean to say is that it is not an issue and by talking about it that would have made it into one.

WhatWitchcraftIsThis · 04/09/2014 09:14

Absolutely not sirchengin I'm one of those suckers who won't accept a dime if I take someone else's children out. But I also just can't see the problem.

Mintyy · 04/09/2014 09:15

Heh heh SirChenjin. I suspect you're right. Not very classy is it?

WhatWitchcraftIsThis · 04/09/2014 09:16

I don't know how Tesco vouchers work but if the op (as others have said) wouldn't be allowed to use them anyway... was the OP's friend meant to sub her tickets and then lose out financially on what was worth 75 pound in vouchers for her family and also take all their kids out for the day?

queensansastark · 04/09/2014 09:20

Seriously don't see what the issue is.

NoWayYesWay · 04/09/2014 09:24

I would say something to the Mum. She did it to convert her points to CASH - it was grabby and cheeky of her.

Mintyy · 04/09/2014 09:26

In effect she converted £6.50 to £25.00, have I read that right?

queensansastark · 04/09/2014 09:27

What's with this weird Brits obsession that cash is crude and a dirty word?

SirChenjin · 04/09/2014 09:28

Not classy at all...sneaky and grabby.

What the friend should have done (if she was so concerned about not losing her points or vouchers) is to use them for her own entry and that of her DC, and use the cash she was given for entry money to pay for the other children. She didn't - she saw a way to make a few grubby quid and she took it. She nust really beed the money if she was prepared to do something so underhand.

Notso · 04/09/2014 09:30

Really I think Aldi and Lidl are cheaper than Tesco

Good for you but they aren't for me. I did say in my experience not everybody's experience. I don't think you can compare Aldi/Lidl like for like with other supermarkets because they are majority own brand anyway.

Original poster
jammyjamjam · 04/09/2014 09:33

sigh!
The issue is this.....
My friend knew that she was taking out 3 children, that each were going to bring 25 pounds for the park entrance. But she knew that if she used her Tesco vouchers (which are given out as a reward for shopping so they are free) she would make a profit of 75 pounds. She didn't for one minute think of telling me or the other mums that we could exchange our vouchers and hence have a free entrance for our child. Nor did she pass on some of the saving and maybe suggest that instead of 25 pounds we give her 20 as she was using her vouchers.
She had decided days before that she would swap her vouchers for entrance tickets, charge us 25 pounds each and make a nice tidy profit out of taking the kids out for the day.
Phew...that's the last time I'm explaining it. if some of you think there's nothing wrong with that then good, but lots of you agree with me that it's sneaky and devious. I would never dream of doing anything like that

OP posts: