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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend kept dds money and used Tesco vouchers

791 replies

jammyjamjam · 03/09/2014 12:24

Hi, ds had inservice yesterday and a friend (a mum from school) offered to take her, her own dd and 2 others to an amusement park, entry fee was 25 pounds. When ds got back in the afternoon, we chatted about the day and it turns out the mum paid for my dd and the 2 other children with Tesco vouchers, ie, she had redeemed her Tesco points to pay for the 4 dcs and then kept 75 pounds form my dd and the 2 other dc. Surely she could have told us that this place took in Tesco vouchers and I could have used my own points and saved the money? I'm grateful that she took dd but surely she should have been upfront about her intention of using vouchers....AIBU?

OP posts:
GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 03/09/2014 18:42

Kirsty - excellent idea. Choose the event carefully to maximise your cash profit!!

revealall · 03/09/2014 18:43

Whatever5 - I think she was though. Op has her own vouchers that her friend knew about. Op could have given friend her vouchers as payment in kind.

MomOfABeast · 03/09/2014 18:43

she'd probably saved those vouchers for a long time and wasn't prepared to just effectively gift them to her daughter's friendsnwhich is fair enough. That said telco vouchers are worth less than cold hard cash so she did make money out of your daughter which is a bit sly. If I were that mum I'd use vouchers to pay for my daughter then save the rest for something else. If she wanted you to contribute for food, petrol etc she should have said so upfront.

That said at least your daughter got a nice day out and it didn't cost you extra.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 03/09/2014 18:44

Reading that back it sounds like a Viz top tip. In which case it proves OP is right and the friend is wrong.

SirChenjin · 03/09/2014 18:45

Reading that back it sounds like a Viz top tip

It does! Grin

Bouttimeforwine · 03/09/2014 18:46

emerald - how does that work though? Don't they have to send the vouchers to the address the clubcard is registered at?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 03/09/2014 18:47

MomOfBeast - that would have been fine in my opinion. Nothing wrong with paying in cash with OP's money and only using vouchers for own family's tickets. It's the profiting from a friend think that's wrong. Similarly paying with credit card for everyone (but paying full price) and keeping the cash the parents gave is also fine as it's directly like for like.

TattyDevine · 03/09/2014 18:47

Assuming she used the boost voucher thing, she's got your DD in for half of the 25 cost and therefore you only owe her 12.50 for entry but she didn't pass this on to you she kept it.

But she spent all day at an amusement park with various children, which is my idea of hell, and she saved you a days annual leave.

In which case I'd still be grateful and not waste energy being bothered, personally.

Sorry I haven't read all the replies.

whatever5 · 03/09/2014 18:52

Whatever5 - I think she was though. Op has her own vouchers that her friend knew about. Op could have given friend her vouchers as payment in kind.

The OP probably wouldn't have been able to use her vouchers though as she wasn't going (I think only the cardholder can use them officially). IF she could have used them then it is her fault for not doing so.

ButternutBosc · 03/09/2014 18:57

I just can't believe that it costs £25 for a child entry to a theme park.

revealall · 03/09/2014 18:59

The op could have given the friend her vouchers to use for something else though. They don't check in store who's they are.

It's also not the Op's fault for not using vouchers if she wasn't told about the arrangement as you need to boost them in advance. Perhaps she didn't have enough for a whole ticket? I still don't think the friend should take £25 quid and use her own.

whatever5 · 03/09/2014 19:01

Even if that means £15 off in the shops at the moment she has still benefited financially from this.

She has only benefited financially if she normally uses the vouchers for buying things in the shop. If like me (and probably most other people) she uses them for days out/restaurants she will not have benefited.
The vouchers are worth what you can buy with them and considering that most people probably don't use them in the shop it is not logical to state that the money off in the shop is the relevant amount.

whatever5 · 03/09/2014 19:08

It's also not the Op's fault for not using vouchers if she wasn't told about the arrangement as you need to boost them in advance. Perhaps she didn't have enough for a whole ticket? I still don't think the friend should take £25 quid and use her own.

If OP collects Tesco's points she will know she can use them for theme parks/days out. I don't know anything about "boosting them in advance" (I thought that just applied to buying things in store). When I have had days out vouchers they usually send them straight away via e mail.

SirChenjin · 03/09/2014 19:08

I was referring to your earlier post "Anyway £6.25 in vouchers is £15 off in the shop at the moment"

EmeraldLion · 03/09/2014 19:08

emerald - how does that work though? Don't they have to send the vouchers to the address the clubcard is registered at

Some of them are emailed vouchers - so they convert however much of their vouchers you've bought and then just forward you the email saying '£x off your bill at x' (usually the restaurants) and you use it. If they're posted entry tokens, they just post them to you when they receive them (usually about 5 days so you need to do it a couple of weeks in advance.

I've bought vouchers on ebay to convert to entry to oakwood park, folly farm, legoland, west midland safari park, longleat, our local leisure centre and cinema tickets. And I've bought them for use at Pizza Hut and Ask.

I'd never go any of those places (and loads more) and pay cash, i always buy Tesco vouchers. Essentially like getting in half price.

whatever5 · 03/09/2014 19:10

But how about you forget all about it and take her and the children out for a meal or theatre trip to reciprocate? You would obviously need to charge her full price and watch her face when you pay in Tesco vouchers after stuffing her cash in your wallet! It's not like she can complain after all

What makes you think she would complain though? I would think it was a good idea.

icymaiden · 03/09/2014 19:11

there is some twisted logic here.the vouchers aren't 'worth' a set monetary amount because you can't exchange them for cash.therefore you have to look at them as being worth what they will buy- in this case a £25 day out.
Although this lady was on the face of it being self-serving, I don't think you have got any grounds for complaint because you paid for your DD to have a £25 day out, and that is what was provided.

UnrelatedToElephants · 03/09/2014 19:12

She's been sneaky and made a quick buck out of y - but you were also taken for a ride and will be more savvy around her - and around paying full price for days out - in future. It's sunk cost now and I don't think that I would mention it to her. She's not the kind of person who's likely to apologise and return the overpayment, so it's just awkward confrontation - I wouldn't.

SirChenjin · 03/09/2014 19:14

No, she (and the 2 other women) gave the friend £75 to buy tickets at the gate, ie the cost of 3 ticketed entries. The vouchers had a lesser face value than £25 - the friend knew this and pocketed the difference.

whatever5 · 03/09/2014 19:18

Some people are very illogical....

treadheavily · 03/09/2014 19:21

Let us not forget the mother had to pay her own entry, endure a day at a theme park and ensure the well being of 3 other children.

Frankly she deserves a medal and you sound very ungrateful.

Your child could not have gone without an adult. I would have offered to contribute to the parent's entry though you gave wine so fair enough.

And petrol.

TheRealMaryMillington · 03/09/2014 19:23

Um, don't know how these things work (not loyal enough to any supermarket) but how do you know she didn't pay for herself and her own kid with vouchers, rather than your kid and the others?

In any case, doesn't matter how she paid, unless she got an actual freebie.

She's saved you your entrance costs too, and the horror of having to go, and maybe your childcare dilemma for the day.

bouncinbean · 03/09/2014 19:23

It's sneaky because if she did use vouchers then it must have been done in advance, in which case she could have told all the mums that it was being done by voucher to make it cost effective, and did anyone else want to get their child's tickets with their own clubland vouchers. As it was she 'charged' £25 when it cost her £6.25. This suggests she wanted to pocket £18.75 per child in cash.
I would be wary of future activities she invites your children to.

BackforGood · 03/09/2014 19:24

Only read Pp1 and 9, but I don't think she WBU at all.
As so many others have said, you'd paid out £25, for your dd to go to a place that cost £25 to get in to.
You've not paid travel
You've not paid for childcare
You've not had to use a day's AL
You've presumably not paid for any extras (ice-cream?)

Sounds to me like you've got a bargain.
If you think it's such a good moneymaking scheme, then you can offer to take a car full of other people's dc somewhere on the next training day, and "cream off the profit"

Personally though, I'd be giving the other Mum a bottle of wine or bunch of flowers and thanking her profusely.

lampygirl · 03/09/2014 19:25

I really don't see how this is such a big issue. Amongst our friends we use tesco vouchers all the time. I regularly buy eurotunnel tickets with them. I also drive on these trips. I charge my 3 mates 1/4 of the ticket price, but usually cover more than my quarter with vouchers as you have to convert them in certain value chunks.

I see the rest pays for the mileage on my car, added insurance because of the 4.5k extra mileage in Europe each year, tyre wear etc. these don't have a fixed cost, I can't easily split that amongst 4 people. Fuel is split and te tunnel is split. I use club card vouchers to pay for the tunnel and the extra from the pot my friends pay in goes into my savings account which then pays insurance, breakdown, buys tyres/screenwash/oil etc. this has always been the fairest way we've worked out to do it, and we discussed a few different options, including a very over-complicated spreadsheet, but it all got too much and everyone felt that thy weren't paying any extra than if I used cash for my share, and we weren't fading every time the screenwash needed topping up, the tyres needed air or there was £2 needed for parking as I just paid then from 'the pot'. Seems simple really.