I am so angry!

[ItWasNotYourFaultButMine]

ok sorry if this is long, but I just need to get this off my chest, and to know if I was being the unreasonable one.

ok so today I went to asda. parked in a normal space as no p&c available. I opened my car door, as wide as it could go, guiding it with my hand and resting it against the car next to me gently, to climb into the back and pull out DD (I only have a 2 door car)

in the middle of this, I hear a very angry woman shout into my car "move your door off my car" - I was about to explain that I hadn't let it hit off her car, but just placed it there instead of opening the door a little bit and chancing a gust of wind coming and slamming it against her car - but I'm a wimp so I just apologised and closed the door and waited for them to pull out of the space.

I was playing with DDs hair, waiting on them leaving, when I heard a massive bang against my car. the passenger had deliberately flung her door open full force and slammed it into my car.

i looked in at her and she just shrugged as if to say "what you gonna do about it?" like i say I'm a wimp, but I got out the car at this point, and checked my car - she has made a massive dent and scratch down the drivers side of the door.

they drove away while I was looking at this and I didn't catch the reg plate.

I just can't stop being angry at this, they deliberately damaged my car, for nothing! but now I'm thinking, should I not have let my car door touch their car? would you have a similar reaction if you seen a car door open and sitting against your car?

It's not acceptable to rest your car door on another car. I have two kids and a 3 door car and have never had to do that. I will put my hand between the two doors if space is tight to make sure there's no possibility of damage.

The woman bashing your car deliberately was a total twat. I would try and get CCTV.

I rest my car door against the next car if they've parked too close. I didn't used to, but ds1 will push the door open further if it's not fully open which risks causing a bigger ding - I judge that any damage caused will be less if I've carefully placed the door against the other car.

to be fair to myself, I never thought the the doors touching would damage the other car. I actually thought I was doing the right thing, by resting it instead of letting it bang. now I know different, I won't be doing it again.

Rachel, have you considered a) teaching your DS not to push the door open or to b) hold it while he gets out?

I'm mystified by this legendary "bang" you're all avoiding when you touch your door to other cars. Why would the door suddenly fly open unless there was a howling gale outside?

Where I live there generally is a howling gale outside for about six months of the year. Which is perhaps why I am usually pleased to see someone being considerate and resting their car door against mine rather than letting it blow in the wind.

What damage does gently resting a car door against another car actually do? Does it trouble you all in the same way as, say, driving past an overgrown hedgerow, which might rub/scratch against the car's side?

How funny people are.

I've never rested my car door on someone else's car in 25 years of driving. I'm obviously super clever
Plenty of fuckers have opened their door on to mine and dented it though.

The woman was a total wanker. Get the police involved. She is a vandal, therefore a criminal.

Oh, and OP I really feel for you - it must have been horrible, the woman sounds awful. No wonder you're still feeling angry.

driving past an overgrown hedgerow, which might rub/scratch against the car's side?

In those situations damage can be avoided by simply not driving into the hedge in the first place. In over 20 years driving (and a lot of that down narrow country lanes) I've managed to not scratch my car down the side of a hedgerow.
Many others have managed it with their doors though...

I feel for you, that's awful. Don't keep saying you're a 'wimp' , because you're not keen on confrontation and are upset because someone was a total bitch to you!

I agree on get the police involved, she's a vandal and shouldn't be allowed to get away with hideous behaviour like that.

I'm neither here nor there on the resting car door thing. I try to avoid it, but I have done it before,and even though I drive a 'naice' car , I honestly wouldn't give a toss if somebody touched it with their door-It's a lump of metal and I drive in public places.

Agree that I would not be impressed to see someone resting their car door on mine. I would never do it to another car either. The other driver was obviously well out of order though, I hope they damaged their own door in the process

ramrod757 you seriously "go nuclear" if you caught someone resting their car door against your car in a car park in order to get to their child in the back of a three door car?!

sisters if you've managed never to scratch your car on a narrow country lane that suggests to me that you've never been the one to pull over when two cars meet on said country lane. Bit like the twat driving the shiny 4x4 that once forced our tiny city car off the lane into the hedges, somehow forgetting that he was driving the car designed to go offroad . Still, our car survived!

We've recently been on holiday to Devon where it was tiny lanes overgrown hedgerows a-go-go. I doubt a day went by that we didn't brush against a hedgerow. Again - the car survived!

Annie, it's when he's getting in as I always park next to an empty space but when we get back to the car someone has usually parked next to us. He doesn't do it deliberately but uses the door to pull himself up into his seat so it will swing if it's not fully open or resting on something.

It's not usually a problem as in the multistorey I most often use it's possible to use an end space and park half out of it without blocking anything, leaving ample room on both sides of the car for both children.

sisters if you've managed never to scratch your car on a narrow country lane that suggests to me that you've never been the one to pull over when two cars meet on said country lane

And I'd suggest you are wrong
Perfectly possible to pull into passing points without hitting hedges. See car coming towards you? Stop in the wider point of the lane. Reverse back to the passing point.
Suggests to me that perhaps you carry on blindly facing no alternative but to implant your car in a hedge.

Does it trouble you all in the same way as, say, driving past an overgrown hedgerow, which might rub/scratch against the car's side?

Do you not see the difference between you managing to scratch your own car and someone else doing it? It is not acceptable to be careless with someone else's property regardless of what you do to your own. I let my children scuff their muddy shoes on the inside of my car. I certainly wouldn't allow them to do it in anyone else's.

well clearly the damage to my car was well deserved since I'm such an inconsiderate "cunt".

Absolutely not! Nothing justifies what the twat in the other car did.

Agree river tam. Have driven down plenty of country roads where it isn't possible for two cars to pass without going next to hedge - not all roads have passing points and you often have to squeeze past a bus or tractor.

On the other hand, as with touching car doors, my car seems to be remarkably unscathed by all this ordinary everyday life stuff to which it is subjected.

Do you not see the difference between you managing to scratch your own car and someone else doing it?

I don't think someone gently resting their car door against mine will scratch it though. And if it does, it will just fit in with all those hedgerow scratches I think my point was - is there a need to be so screamingly precious, when you are driving on public roads filled with other cars, stones, hedgerows etc. Surely you don't expect the thing to remain pristine?

Surely you don't expect the thing to remain pristine?

And I don't think anyone here expects that. Yes there will be stone chips etc but the difference is those are accidental and unavoidable whereas someone leaning another car door onto a vehicle is completely avoidable if the driver showed a little common courtesy.

what about lanes with no passing places, sisters? And plenty of passing places are bordered by, you've guessed it, hedgerows, you somehow magically avoid those too? We drive perfectly safely on country lanes, more safely, dare I say it, than someone who is obsessed by the state of their paintwork! If brushing against a hedge is what's required to allow 2 cars to pass safely, I'll do it.

I think I might apply to dragons den, I see a business idea here! Little doodahs that you can slide onto your car door whilst "gently resting" against another car when you are getting DC out. Any ideas for names for said doodah? I will give you....ooh five per cent of profits?

door guards