To be pissed off dd1 keeps eating dp tea!

[Anotherchapter]

She is 19 for god sake!

She has hers when she gets in from work around 7:15pm . She has probably quite a large meal for some one her size (she is very petite) finishes it all off then with in an hour or so I can hear her in the kitchen faffing about looking for food.

Recently she has taken to taking food off dp plate as he gets in at 9:30 ish.

She knows it's left for him And I tell her to leave it alone. I didn't plate his up tonight (did a beef curry) I heard her come down stairs and go in the kitchen. I heard the lid off the pan lift up, I told her to leave his bloody tea alone, then a few seconds later I heard her put it back and go back upstairs.

Just been in to check and she had took all the fucking meat out of it bar one shitty morsel!

If she gets hungry she knows she can make toast or cereal but to be taking his food - when she knows it's for him and that's all there is pissing me off.

I've just been up and told her off - she said she only had a tea spoon full

I don't know what her problem is.

It sounds a good idea up to the point about the sealed tub in the fridge. What's to stop older daughter eating that as a snack - or stop her from raiding her sister's earlier teatime food as well as her own dinnertime portion with the adults later?

This problem has to be licked rather than trying to work around it because if the habit isn't checked and broken, daughter will be just pinching the food at a different time of day/night.

Good luck later OP

I agree with Lying (and thank you for your encomium earlier! ) - the OP's DD1 has problems with stealing food from both the DP and the DD2, which really does suggest an underlying resentment to both of them. Whether it's just that they exist, or that they came into her life and one-to-one relationship with the OP and ruined it, or what, it's hard to say from here - but it seems quite likely that it's something along those lines.

Another - has your DD ever moaned that she wishes it was the way it used to be with just the 2 of you? have you been given any indication that she would rather DP and DD2 weren't around?

Also looking forward to the update - will be interesting to see if she has any rational justification or whether she just storms off and strops about it.

And no, don't ever show the thread to her. It very rarely is appropriate, and even then I don't recommend it.

Thank you anotherchapter! Mouth is already watering. I am going to have a go at that in short order!!

I keep going back to the thought in my head that drugs are involved. but.....

Op didn't give any indication of such, so I'll shuddup.

Good luck OP. Im cheering for ya.

I used to live with Food Thieving Bastard (flatmate, not family) and what helped was, every time he helped himself to someone else's food, we would go in to his room (when he was out), get something of his and fling it out the window into the canal.

The moral and environmental ethics of this are, of course, questionable, but it did curb his fridge burglary.

OP do you have a canal nearby?! Or can you pinch something of your dd's and hold it to ransom till she coughs up a fiver to cover stolen food, cost of cooking, and distress?

It sounds like she's just not getting it. Maybe when she's on the receiving end, it'll hit home. So yes, I would be helping myself back to her possessions till she understands.

Did she do it to her boyfriend when they lived together, eat his food?

It sounds a good idea up to the point about the sealed tub in the fridge. What's to stop older daughter eating that as a snack - or stop her from raiding her sister's earlier teatime food as well as her own dinnertime portion with the adults

She would be eating her own dinner. Unless the OP freezes it each day. And then, no more dinner until the next day.

I think, just eat later. Or let her make her own dinner. She is 19 after all. And the OP and husband eat when he gets home.

Now that's an interesting concept - doesn't really get to the heart of "wrong behaviour" if you encourage reciprocation, but it might get the message across that she shouldn't be doing it, iyswim.

Let DD2 go into her room and take something of hers; let DP borrow her shampoo or something. In fact, YOU go into her room and reclaim all of your toiletries and clothes. AND some of hers too while you're at it.

Becky you got to tell us what theiving bastard said when he found his stuff in the water :D

In the canal wow

I can't imagine living in a house where I had to cook and eat at certain times to stop my meal being pinched!

We used Becky's logic when sharing a house with a fully grown adult who refused to wash up. He'd leave his plates etc and just use whatever someone else had washed up.

So I started collecting his dishes, cutlery, cups, pans etc. Whatever was in/on them was carefully kept in/on them and late on night we piled them against his bedroom door (once he had gone to bed). So when he got up in the morning and opened his door (inwards) the whole lot crashed in on/over him.

The message got through the 4th time we did it, he left! It may have been childish/disgusting, but I found it quite satisfying at the time.

I always wondered if he continued doing it in his next house share.

I simply can't understand why people are bending over backwards to think of ways to avoid telling an adult to stop stealing other people's food. We're not talking about a toddler here.
I am looking forward to Op's update on the headlock approach, and also whether she lives near a canal.

Hi all - update !

It went a bit tits up. Dd1, DP and FIL all walked in with in mins of each other. I'd made beef casserole and roasties. There was some left over fir dp lunch tomorow.

Dd and dp had their tea and we all settled in the front room. I was helping dd prepare for a new job interview.

I didn't feel I could say anything to her as Dp and FIL were there and didn't want to embarrass anyone.

Any way interview practise finished and dd headed off up to bed. I carried on talking to dp and fil. I heard the casserole lid lift and the large spoon move in the kitchen.

I wLked in to the kitchen and she was picking the meat out again , I said 'get out if there' - she started laughing.

I said " no, I mean it dd, it takes the piss when you pick all the meat out of it, it not fair'

Dp and fil walked in to the kitchen brandishing empty tea mugs so she escaped up stairs and I followed.

She was sat in bed when I went in. " I said, seriously stop it, I don't want you takng the best bits, or meat or anything. If I've not specifically said dd, do you want the rest of this? Leave it and get some thing else, your basically leaving scraps"

She said " ok, stop going on about it"

I said " bring your dirty washing down stairs in the mornng"

Bit if a damp squib. She knew she was talking the piss, that why she laughed.

I know I didn't go in guns blazing, but she knows she is on my radar and hopfully stop.

I actually don't think it's anything deeper than, she wants it, she's having it. Regardless who's/what it's for.

I shall be on red alert.

I wouldn't say that it went tits up. You made your point and as you say you will keep on making it until she listens.

Your meals sounds yum by the way.

Oooh thanks flossy my roasties were banging!

Another Have you thought about getting a vegetarian cook book. No meat to steal lol.

Good point tali but I fear dp would keel over. It's not a proper meal with out some for of dead animal on his plate!

Well done, Another. You now actually have something else in your arsenal to stop your daughter doing this. You've been very clear and definite and if she does it again then I wouldn't hesitate to embarrass her in front of family members. I'd then make it clear that if she has no respect for other people, the next embarrassment will be in front of her boyfriend. Her call.

I don't like it that she laughed at you. She has no business being so disrespectful. Keep doing what you're doing and don't let up.

... and can you please tell me how you make your 'banging roasties' now because mine are 'bullet roasties'...

He's been hardly getting any meat anyway, so he might be able to cope.

Ask her to cook up a replacement meal next time she eats dp's tea

I don't know how you stand it, OP, I really don't. Her laughing at you when she's behaving so badly is just dreadful. I can't work out what on earth's going on in her mind to be doing this. It's very bizarre and I have no idea how (or if) you can possibly get through to her. I don't believe that hunger has got anything to do with it at all, it seems to be vindictive and nasty, and at 19 yrs old it can't be tolerated at all. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this, OP.

lying she knows the all seeing eye is upon her now.

banging roasties...
Par boil spuds (this were about size of Palm cut in half )
Oil in baking tray in oven about 220.
Tip par boiled spuds (after draining) in red hot fat so it sizzles and spits and coat (watch hands)
Then I used this grinder thing from B&Ms which has garlc,salt, pepper and roasemary, ground that over it
Then put them back in till they were really crispy

I love that grinder thingy

'OK, stop going on about it'

I think I'd have had trouble not going apeshit at that. How bloody rude.

Here is grinder thingy. It's really nice on roast chicken to and you can add it to gravy