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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to take 2 cars on my wedding day to accommodate someone?

156 replies

FelicityFoxton · 26/08/2014 20:17

I'm getting married on Friday - it's just a small do with 18 guests. Two of the people invited are my daughter's sister who is 26 and niece who is 2. ( my dd is almost 16 and they have the same father,. I'm not particularly close to her however we get on absolutely fine and my daughter is close to her , sees her often and babysits a lot for her niece.

I invited her to the wedding. We are getting married 12 miles from here and then it's a further 12 miles or so to where we are having lunch and then it's back to our house. My daughters sister does not drive and has now just told me that she can't get there using buses etc because where we are going is not on a bus route

We have two cars. We were only taking one because there are four of us in the family. I really do not want to take two cars to accommodate her. It would mean me driving , my ( soon to be ! ) husband driving and all this to fit her in with her little girl. I just don't want to drive there separately , get married and then drive off to the lunch separately etc etc.

My daughter thinks I'm BU. I think she's 26 years old an she's had enough notice to sort out a lift or a babysitter for her child ( who is very welcome of course but if it wasn't for her, we'd be able to squeeze her in )

My daughter wants her there. I do as well but I just don't want to take two cars.

So ... AIBU ?

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 27/08/2014 01:26

No high heels, no champagne toast

Heels = people can drive in heels, or change them after the drive of they have to.

Champagne = One drink through the day won't hurt, besides, the op has mentioned nothing about drinking, so perhaps she doesn't or doesn't drink a lot.

I think I drank 2 alcoholic drinks on my wedding day....just didn't fancy it.

JuniorMumber · 27/08/2014 05:38

Pay for the cab, but ask your teenage daughter and the sister / ex step daughter to chip in a tenner each out if principle.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 27/08/2014 06:37

Is it really the end of the world if you can't be in the car with your new DH? Also, what's his take on it, has he offered to pay for a taxi for his DD and DG?

Lweji · 27/08/2014 06:42

Or RTFT

I've got the solution !!!!

I will collect the huge car seat from her. I will shove it in the boot of my car. She will get on a bus with her dd and do the journey of 12 miles to the registry office. From there , I can accommodate her with another guest in their car as they have two spaces ( they cannot collect her as they're driving in from afar but they're coming back to our house after the meal

Heyho111 · 27/08/2014 06:49

I think asking someone on income support to spend that sort of money is unfair and unreasonable.
I'm not sure how you save £50 ontop of the money needed to attend your wedding anyway.
I would take two cars. It just solves everything.

Lweji · 27/08/2014 06:50

Or RTFT

StUmbrageinSkelt · 27/08/2014 06:54

It's not the new husband's dd or dg. RTFT! Instead of leaping to the conclusion the OP is a bridezilla stepmonster.

Good solution OP.

Original poster
FelicityFoxton · 27/08/2014 06:57

Grin some people are just hard of reading ...

OP posts:
violetbunny · 27/08/2014 07:13

Could you offer her money for a taxi perhaps?

Redglitter · 27/08/2014 07:14

Another vote for ROSS

Can't believe people are still offering suggestions

Redglitter · 27/08/2014 07:15

For ROSS?? Who the hell is ROSS

Should have been another vote for RTFS lol

violetbunny · 27/08/2014 07:15

Oops, seems I was bit late to the party Grin Blush

HappyAgainOneDay · 27/08/2014 07:32

Having other people's ideas always helps to work out a solution to a problem even if it's done slightly sideways ifswim. I hope you have a lovely day on Friday, OP. Please give us an update afterwards.

When I got married I had a lot of people and, when we left the church, one of my cousins approached me and asked if I could organise a lift to the party. He'd come 70 miles by public transport and brought his 18 month old little boy. I was pleased he was there so asked my son (I knew he had space in his car) to take him and they knew each other anyway. Cousin had made his own arrangements in that his wife was playing in a concert at a local theatre, made her own way there by car, would meet him at the party and they'd all drive home together. It was only for that short journey that he needed help. There were lots of other people I could have asked, of course, but he'd planned the travelling. I can't see why your former step-daughter couldn't get her brain together.

LapsedTwentysomething · 27/08/2014 08:14

I wouldn't want to fanny about with buses to a wedding, then onwards to the meal, then back again. Actually I think you're making it difficult for her to attend and yes it is a bit churlish. I doubt she feels welcome tbh.

ZenNudist · 27/08/2014 08:17

Hahaha to asking b&g to give you a lift to the wedding. Just say no. It shouldn't matter that taxi too expensive for her. If she wanted to come she'd plan for this eventuality. Save up, organise a lift from a non-wedding guest.

LapsedTwentysomething · 27/08/2014 08:18

Although again I see I've missed a page. Hope she hasn't caught on to a sense of reluctance to welcome her there.

Lweji · 27/08/2014 08:20

Or RTFT.

She may still say no to going the first leg on the bus, but then it's her problem.

BlinkAndMiss · 27/08/2014 08:30

Tricky one Hmm. You mention that she has a boyfriend with a car, what is he doing that means he can't drive her and DD? I'm sure in most circumstances the boyfriend would inconvenience himself rather than expect lifts from the bride and groom.

Is he genuinely busy or are they put out because he isn't invited? It sounds to me like she's being quite awkward on purpose, maybe not bad I realise that £50 is a lot of money (IS or not!) but surely she's capable of asking a friend if BF is 'busy'?

Your wedding day needs to work for everyone, but you should be having an easy day most importantly. Speak to the BF.

LapsedTwentysomething · 27/08/2014 08:36

And by the way I don't say that to be arsey, what with your wedding coming up and all, but that's how it comes across to me.

waithorse · 27/08/2014 08:38

Glad you found a solution. You sound lovely op. Congratulations. Thanks

waithorse · 27/08/2014 08:38

Read the thread people. A solution has been found.

Boysandme · 27/08/2014 08:47

Just seen this, glad you have got a solution. I don't blame you for wanting to be together after just having got married.

Have a wonderful day Smile

InkleWinkle · 27/08/2014 09:36

Have a lovely day!

But be prepared for her to ask how they're going to get home...

waithorse · 27/08/2014 09:50

Yes, I was wondering how they are planning on getting home from your house. Hmm

Mim78 · 27/08/2014 10:09

Yes maybe you should stay sober throughout the house party bit at the end to drive them back? Grin

I think she lives near enough to op to walk home or am I confused?